Just wanting some advice on how everyone stays motivated to just keep trying every day? Like i have motivation, my kids, staying sober for them. Hopefully fixing my relationship with their mother.
But the day to day. Its hard to go to work. To get out of bed. I force myself to eat, go to work, go to the gym. I dropped all my old “friends” and just realizing how lonely it is. Dont have interest in anything i used to take joy in. Other than just forcing yourself, what gives you all motivation? Just to keep going. I know its a mindset. Its always a decision. Just struggling to do anything.
I know it’s hard. Believe me, I have it same.
Mostly motivates me to be sober for my boyfriend, my family and for myself as well. And also I remember whole shit which happened to me when I a lot relapsed, so it’s as well motivating me to not again relapse.
I suspose i forced myself and still do.
But my main motivation when im questioning everything is i say to myself ‘i want better for myself, i want more from life than this’
Sounds awful but sometimes kids husband and a stable life dont always ground me and i have to look deep and think who do i want to be and am i going to live the life i want drinking? The answer is always no x
Because I deserve better than to be controlled by drugs. I deserve to be happy and free. Because fitness and drugs don’t go together, and because I hate being obsessed with a drug.
Also I want to connect more with People, when I meet new People, I want to be my best self, I want to be able to talk fluently, be funny, smart, and be a good listener. I want to get to know as many People in this life as I feel like. When using, I isolated. Even now in early sobriety I’m more alone because my using buddy’s are bad influence. But I choose this period of loneliness for greater human connection in the future.
Also, I want to know who I am and what life is like without mental illness (addiction)
And because I love life, and myself and my body is such a beautiful miracle of so many years of evolution, I want to cherish myself that way.
And because life can be short and I’m scared of dying addicted. When there is so much potential in the world. I may want to have a wife some day, but how could I ever fall in love, if I’m numb from the drugs?
That’s the thing, all drugs numb the bad feelings for a moment, trauma, grief, pain, sadness don’t have to be felt while drunk/high/whatever. But the biggest love, the natural euphoria, and real excitement can also not be felt while under a substance. We take the joy of our lives when using! There’s countless other reasons, but the main one is just that I want to feel real feelings like love and be the best me.
Thank you. Cried reading this. A lot of self loathing i guess. Been at the height of life, but i was using. Now everything and everyone is gone and ive gotta justify everything to myself. Face who i am. Figure out what i want. Thanks for sharing.
Im Glad I could help. I have to remind myself of all of this again and again by journaling, self talk, meetings and this forum because the addictive voice gets so loud very often. I forgot many reasons to stay sober when I craved or used
I made a birthday trip for my daughter to help me stay focused. I made a resort reservation to Disneyworld and made payments. I even bought plane tickets to lock me in. Every time I thought about faltering, I thought about letting my baby down. It kept me strong! When her birthday came, I cried tears of joy 3 years later now and still sober!!
U are definitely right, it IS a struggle to want to do anything and it sux but ive started trying new things, i sit and write a gratitude list every morning(even on bad mornings) but it soes help remind me of how much i have to be grateful for. Also ive alwats been good at crafts and art stuff but shit in active addiction that shit was nowhere n my life so lately been trying to do some crafts and painting and just trying to do old things that i liked to do but al.ost forgot all my good qualities and things i am good at… also find also new friends might b a good thing, maybe at meetings or other sober activities… just hang in there it does get better, sometimes we gotta dig a lil deeper and go out of our comfort zone to figure it out… hope ur doing ok and keep up the good work
I saw the road I was on, the darkness that surrounded that road and how much destruction it had left, I saw weakness, I saw death. If I continued I’d end up in a place I never wanted to be. I saw change as strength, it was daunting, it was scary, but ultimately the road I was on, the places it led to were even more frightening.
I guess you can call it pride, I’m proud of the days I remain clean, I’m proud of my existence as I am now and it’s only the beginning.
I tried in the past for others, but ultimately it wasn’t enough, I wasn’t ready. It took losing everything I knew and loved to change. Square one. Gotta start somewhere right? Now I do it for myself and myself alone, however the happiness I see from my family and those around me for the changes I’ve made have definitely helped keep me motivated.
Reminds me of when I on Autumn last year tod myself this… "Nastya, do you really want to die like this? Because of alcohol? You’re so young… A lot of things are waiting for you. I know it’s hard to live with this pain, but it’s time to save yourself… There’s another way, much better, which will show you how to accept the pain. "
Thank you I needed to hear those very powerful words. For the longest time I thought giving up alcohol meant that I’m sober but that’s not true if you smoke weed and get high you’re still an addict. It’s been hard trying to stay fit because like you said drugs and fitness doesn’t go together it’s an oxymoron. Matter of fact any form of drug doesn’t go together with trying to have a good life. Like I said thank you for your inspirational words and please keep dropping knowledge
Today’s been a rough day. The ex came and picked up the kids last night. Get some stuff from the house. Had to leave the room a few times to try not to cry infrint of my daughters. Ended up breaking down anyways. Watching them leave. Trying to smile and wave. Realizing how much pain and regret and guilt and hate i have for myself and what ive done and become.
Crying in a bathroom stall right now trying to pull it together. Its a new job. Great job. Best opportunity ive ever had. But all i can think about is i need help. I need my family. I need my partner of the last 12 years. Ill stay sober. Only been a week today. But have never felt so sure of anything in my life. It has to be for me. I get that. And deep down ive wanted to. I just the fact that it had to come to this. That i had to lose everything.
Just venting to vent. Its a hard day. It just started but its hard.
Im trying my best. I got a lucky break with psychiatry. Wasnt supposed to be able to see anyone till sept 4th. Have an appointment tomorrow at 130 now. Scared to actually get some answers and a diagnosis, but ready to move forward. Just feel so helpless atm. My corner is just empty. As it should be, but hurts nonetheless.
Went to my first AA meeting. Was super hard. Ive never been an emotional person. Deep, but usually not emotional. Im guessing because of the 20 years of alcohol and drugs. I couldn’t even make it through my introduction before i started choking up. Man. Ill keep going but damn. That was so hard.
My main motivation is my health followed by having a stable life that doesn’t keep getting f’ed up by drinking. The latter includes relationships, jobs, not blasting music at 2am and having the cops knock on my door, having neighbors call the cops because I fell asleep in my garage with the car running, etc. The embarrassing and damaging moments compile as the years pass.
It doesn’t get any better. As more brain cells die and the body continues breaking down, the dumb shit we do only gets dumber. I don’t want to feel the need to down a couple beers before doing anything.
As far as enjoyment of certain things go, that improves. After over a month music is sounding good again. I’m getting into other things that I neglected while drunk. Plus the $300+ I would have spent since I quit drinking is still in the bank.
It might help if you have sober people in your life, if they help hold you accountable. Like joining you to workout or something like that. I hope this helps !
I don’t have a choice. If I pick up again I will be dead or in jail within a month. I dont miss that life. Motivation is a fleeting feeling. I prefer using discipline. With enough time and work discipline can outlast anything else.
I found this by living my life 24 hours at a time. Today is the only one that matters. I must stay sober for the next 24 hours. If that seems daunting I drop it to 12 hours. If thats too long. 1 hour. Even if I have to stay sober one minute at a time its ok. As long as I hit those marks.
3 years later now and still sober!!