That sounds a good way too look at it, I’m going to try that 
To see the strong and profound relationships I have developed in sobriety.
My kids get to see a healthy mom who is actually present.
The joy I get to wake daily with a clear mind and a goal daily to better myself in every aspect mind, body and soul.
Mainly the impact I am having on my younger siblings and friends around me.
Loneliness is part of the process.
It’s the space where you reconnect with yourself. Where you get to deal with the traumas that pushed you to addiction. Where we learn to deal with our emotions.
The outcome of that a healthier version of you. The real capable human we can all be to accomplish all those goals we once had. True friendships and relationships built on honesty and true love.
I hope you soon are able to gain the strength to feel better and just over all joyous.
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How do I keep motivated? Because I know that a drink is a death sentence to me, a slow insidious death sentence.
How do I keep motivated in life generally? To get up and go? All honesty I don’t always manage that, sometimes it’s hard, there are rough patches where I feel like doing nothing at all and feel unmotivated and like I can’t move. I have learned to let myself rest but also to do small things. Small things like a walk or planting some seeds can help build momentum to larger things and more energy. Just think of some small things you can do, write a list and do at least one of them a day. Anything.
And stay off social media. It’s a mind killer.
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I’m also curious about withdrawls. Ive been on opiates daily for about 15 years. Alcohol daily since i was 9, so about 27 years. Cocaine on the weekends, but never without alcohol.
Im guessing with how much mental pain im in that it masked the withdrawals? Or made me not notice them much? Id been tapering off the opiotes for awhile before i quit, but i was expecting much worse from alcohol.
Only been 8-9 days, so am i supposed to expect a crash shortly? Or did the crippling depression just mask everything?
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Gratitude is a good way to keep some zest in your life
Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #4
This thread helps many people stay positive.
Alcoholic or addict or not, life can be a drag sometimes. Gotta hoover the house again, gotta do some exercise that I don’t really enjoy, but I know it’s good for me, got some paperwork that I have put off and put if that I have to do. 
So I’ll listen to music while running, after hoovering I’ll look at the cat hair free floor and think how clean it looks. I’ll treat myself to a chocolate muffin after I do the paperwork.
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@Lovelyoutlook You are so right about the loneliness. It was one of the reasons I drank. Chardonnay was my friend, my companion. Drinking is the double edged sword for those of us who drink when we are lonely.
Our DOC is our “friend” and in my case I began to isolate from real people friends so I could drink alone. Its a viscous circle.
To survive I had to end my friendship with chardonnay and face my loneliness. But Im not hungover anymore. 
Hugs to all who read this.
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At first I didn’t have any motivations the only motivation I had was myself but then I started to realize and remember all of the things that I lost the people I lost the people that meant the most to me my children my fiance all gone I’m alone and I feel alone and soon after I lost my mom she died April 25th and I’m still struggling with that one but I promised her that I would stay clean and get my life together and get my kids back while she was on her death bed and only did I do that but I made a promise to my children and my fiance that while I’m not here by myself I will do whatever it takes to keep clean I’ll force myself to go to work I’ll force myself to get up I’ll force myself to try and eat try and sleep to try to breathe but one thing I can absolutely not do is go back to the drugs I promise too many important people in my life and I don’t want the life I used to have I don’t want the thing that turned my life in my world upside down within a blink of an eye the one thing that destroyed everything I loved and still has not stopped even though I’m 4 months clean my life is still crumbling before me and it seems like no matter what I do I can’t rise above nothing’s going right no doors of opened up and I feel lost nothing’s familiar I feel like I’m never going to get the people I love back but deep down inside there’s still that voice saying you got to keep pushing and everything will be okay I have to believe that because if I don’t have that if I don’t have my sobriety in my children don’t have me my fiance who is now in heart failure in jail doesn’t hurt me or I won’t have him and I don’t know about you or anyone else but I can’t take or bear the thought of losing anyone else that I love and hold dear to my heart therefore I will do what it takes to keep clean I will do what it takes to breathe I will do what it takes to live a happy and healthier life I will do what it takes to get my kids back I will do whatever it takes to get my life back and maybe that’s the way you should think now your situation may be different from mine but as long as you believe that there is a better tomorrow then you can do it what’s the na phrase just for today and then AA phrase is one day at a time so think one day at a time just for today those two phrases and thought and then think about the serenity prayer say it every morning you wake up every night you go to bed and just believe that there is a better tomorrow when it feels your best is not enough just keeping your sobriety is the best thing that you’ve ever done for you your kids and your family and they’ll see that and they’ll come around but it starts with you just remember it always starts with you in the decisions you make what you did back then doesn’t make you who you are right now what you do too from today on will determine who you will be decisions are always ours. I hope and I pray that you keep on the track that you’re on cuz you’re doing a great job don’t ever forget that.
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Welcome to TS! You definitely are not alone. Congrats on 4 months freedom!
Youre right, for my life to get better and for other People to notice, I can only start with myself. It’s just me who is able to decide what I want and do in life. And I want to be free and healthy
I feel a bit better hearing from you all. Thank you. Started seeing a psychiatrist and meds helping a lot already. Still feel like i want to scream or cry constantly but can keep it under control. Haven’t had any urges to use anything. Im guessing im lucky in that department and with mild withdrawals.
Get my daughters Wednesday or thursday through sunday every week. Really makes things a lot easier for me. Walks and parks, playing, reading, tv, etc… made some homemade popsicles last night. They loved it lol.
I drive 1 hour and 15 minutes each way to work currently. Looking at houses closer. Feel split on whether to move or not. This has been my family’s home for years. But its so queit and just doesn’t feel right. But it would mean more time with the kids and better opportunities. Its a pretty big city. There’s just nothing in small town iowa.
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This might be a cliche but it does get better; especially when you’re taking the steps like you mentioned, seeing a psychiatrist and meds etc.
Sobriety is extremely overwhelming at first and it can be unbearable at times because we have never had to deal with reality before. Now all of a sudden you don’t have an instant escape.
Hobbies have been a big thing for me, if there are one or two things you can focus your time and attention on so that you don’t have to be bored. Boredom can be a real dangerous thing for us in early recovery. There also seems to be a pretty strong correlation between how much time people spend here on the forum and how successful they are with staying sober. @Thirdmonkey is a big advocate of that and I completely agree. I wouldn’t be sober without this place.
Overall just stay strong and keep pushing through. Once you establish sober routines and adjust to sobriety it gets easier, I promise.
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Its hard to be drunk when you surround yourself with the blessings of being sober
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Yes, The DOC will eventually start replacing everything. To the point of dangerous loneliness. In my experience it was terrible. I wanted to plan everything around my dirking. If it didn’t involve drinking I wanted to rush home just to drink alone. Now I’m more engaged than I’ve ever been. With people, with my community with my church. Life turns around. We all have a journey to travel and get to the other side, but the other side is where true life begins.
Keep pushing everyone. Time does come where you don’t have to think of sobriety anymore. That feels amazing. Do however always keep the tools and groups that maintain you in sobriety.
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Welcome. How are things going?
Things are going better. Getting a little easier. Been sober a bit over a month now. Getting mental help was a big one. As a man we’re not supposed to talk about this stuff, our traumas, feelings, fears, etc… i was always the asshole alpha male type. King jock, yet a nerd. Never any legal problems, but used a lot of drugs. Super friendly and fun to be around, yet lonely. Its weird, as a bartender and in my social life, ive always been super popular. But i could be the center of attention or the life of the party, yet be the loneliest person in the room.
I was completely honest with my psychiatrist. She actually choked up a bit when i shared my childhood, past, and my feelings. I dont know how people can work in that field. But without the drugs and alcohol, and with the meds im doing a lot better. Turns out im bi-polar, and have ptsd. I knew i had ptsd already. The symptoms are pretty severe. But the bi-polar was a bit of a shock. Ive been struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts sometimes, but it all makes a bit more sense now. Or easier to deal with.
I’m spending every weekend with my daughters. New job is going great. Im in the weight room every single day. Completely changed my body in just a month. Just getting through best i can. But im very lonely, ive never been alone in my life.
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That’s a great update! You are doing all the right things. Taking care of your mental health takes courage and strength.
Hey Steve – very proud of your sober time – over a month now and going strong. Grateful that you are seeing a psychiatrist and being totally open and honest with her. With the right medication and support you can find a way to persevere with these conditions and do so completely sober!
Happy that you are doing well with your new job and getting to spend time with your girls.
I’m sorry that you are experiencing loneliness. Are you able to join meet up groups in your area to meet with likeminded sober individuals (possibly make some friendships)? Sorry – remind me, are you attending meetings? Possibly a good place to meet other sober individuals and make friends.
Grateful to have you on this journey with us!
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