This thought has been on my mind a lot lately being that I’m in my second serious go at trying to stay sober, currently at around 4 and a half months sober. I’ve noticed that after a while the “honeymoon” period of early sobriety tends to wear off for me around 4 to 6 months in, so in turn if I want to stay sober for myself, I have to find something that keeps me motivated, or just even keeps me occupied, so that I don’t have too much time to think (and in turn end up drinking again).
The thing for me has primarily been working on a crazy project for my first car and Essentially making it into a “sleeper” (car that doesn’t look out of the ordinary, but its pretty quick if you get on it). I’ve always been really passionate about my love for cars and all that, and when I’m working on my car, its a very good motivation for me to stay sober, because it keeps me busy and really doesn’t leave me with much time to even think about drinking. It also is something tangible for me that I can put my time and effort into and have something to show for it rather than what I used to do which was drink all day and never get much done.
I’m also curious as to other people’s motivation to stay sober, as I’m not married, nor have any kids, etc. So my whole motivation for being sober started within myself, not necessarily a drive to be better to those around me, but more along the lines of me getting tired of my own shit, and wanting to be better for myself, to actually do something good with my life instead of getting drunk all of the time and never accomplishing anything.
That what usually gets me through my 24 hours of sobriety each day, so I’m curious as to what motivates you all, and what helps you to get through day to day sobriety?
What motivates me is the amount of money I’ve saved (over $50k), my family and my career. What helps me get through daily are this forum, my AA program and the amazing friends I’ve met at AA.
Hmmm I guess right now , my motivation to keep clean and sober is to be alive. I don’t want to die or end up in jail or a mental institution. I am truly scared of dieing… yet for SO many years I was participating in it and helping it along. Near the end I felt it in my heart and soul that something was going to happen. It wasn’t the same feeling from say an “accidentally OD” or anything like that, that I had experience years ago.
The past 1 or 2 months before I got clean I felt it in my heart and soul… a feeling like I never had before about either me mentally snapping or dying. It scared me and it scared me even more that I couldn’t stop using drugs.
Now I am almost 3 months clean. My life, the way it is today is a HUGE motivator to continue on. The reason WHY things are good today IS BECUZ I am clean and sober. I’m a better person all around. My family can rely on me and I can truly be there for them. The relationship with my husband is better and we communicate better! I am sleeping better! I look forward to sleeping with a clean and sober mind. I wake up and I’m taking care of myself with exercise. I love how I feel overall most days. The relationship with my HP today is sooo good! And I know if I use that diminishes. I also love eating good food! My God, that for me is a gift of recovery lol. And I love the money we have saved! We have been able to get things for our home and for ourselves that have been lacking for years! Both me and hubby are working and not calling in sick. Life is sooo damn good!
When my life feels mundane amd I feel like I’m just doing the same things over n over and nothing is exciting anymore… I remember that my addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful, and is trying every single thing to sneak a thought into my mind that isn’t true. It will try to convince me that my life is boring now or so routine. If I truly think about it, my life was boring and routine when I used. Same shit everyday. I wasnt doing barely anything else but using and surviving. Now I am thriving and I have every opportunity (nothing is stopping me) from making my life exciting and fun and anyway I want it to be!!!
It’s incredible how addiction/alcoholism effects every area of our lives. And when we quit, every area of our life is again effected in a positive way!
If ur feeling uninspired or bored or blah about ur recovery, maybe try something new! A new group or sport or activity to meet new people. Volunteer or work somewhere else or follow a dream! Anything is possible
Good question and it’s something I’ve been trying to figure out for myself for the past couple years. I also don’t have a family, live alone w/ pets. Pets don’t scream at you or guilt you. I do have a few siblings but they don’t live close by so they don’t see and/or aren’t aware of the day to day bullshit I put myself through.
So I was in the mindset “I’m not hurting anyone, I don’t wrong anyone w/ my drinking so they can all fuck off and let me be. Screw the neighbor who complains I haven’t mown the lawn in 6 months bec. they don’t pay my taxes and screw the employer I no-showed on and quit on bec. they didn’t pay enough for loyalty, screw the siblings telling me what to do bec. I don’t ask anything from them”. Which is a real shit attitude to have, regardless that there was some truth to those things, that’s not how well adjusted people think and that attitude was hurting ME. Not them, not as much at least, as it was hurting me. And I think most of that was probably because deep down I knew it was a shit attitude and felt a great deal of shame for my behavior.
Bur for me, the change came because I wanted to pursue a life. Outside of waking up, going to a cashier job, coming home, drinking, repeat until I miss work and lose the job. Get another menial job, repeat. Repeat. For 2 years. I sat around a lot and thought about what I really wanted to do with my life. I don’t like where I currently live, there aren’t opportunities that appeal to me, and having any real commute was a problem because I lost my license a couple years ago and haven’t taken care of it. Well, I just got sick and tired of that crap. There are a couple things I want to do with my life, and first things are first. I need a stable job, I need to take care of my drivers license, then save up a bit of money to pursue what I want to do (which will involve moving/traveling). But I was impatient. I never stuck it out through steps 1 and 2 before becoming discouraged and using alcohol to ignore it… Cue 2 years later (I’ve been problem drinking for much longer but serious about quitting for 2) cue 2 years later and guess what? Nothing magically changed, what a surprise .
So I swallowed my pride, took a job down the street as a line cook, and am liking it so far (1st week), and am going to keep going. 12 days sober right now. 30 days is the longest I’ve gone since I started drinking. I’m going to turn this 12 into 30-60-90+… I can picture the life I want. I know what I want finally, and I have a concrete plan. I accept I can’t have it right away. I’m aware things won’t always go smoothly. I accept that and that’s fine because I’m F*cking done w/ this crap. I want a real life and alcohol isn’t compatible with the life I want. I’ve tried moderation, I’ve tried beer not liquor, I’ve tried only on days off… Doesn’t work for me. Alcohol isn’t compatible with the life I want so I’m done with it.
It honestly feels pretty good to take care of things and not hide in shame. Should’ve figured that out earlier.
What keeps me sober is the thought of losing how good I feel now, how much happier I am living each day with gratitude (keep a simple daily gratitude journal) which in itself brings joy. I think often to how low I felt while not sober, the lies and secrets needed daily to survive. It’s like losing a 60lb backpack full of bricks I’ve been dragging around for decades. I’ve started enjoying once again old healthy pursuits along with new ones. These take deliberate action to maintain, but just like the pattern of addiction, I have replaced with these healthier activities. Keeping mindfulness close to heart, pausing and thinking why am I feeling this way with any negative thought. Allows the time to process, let go, and not react. Going 9 months now
Want got me sober to start. Commitment kept me sober in the hard times in early sobriety. Joy and desire keep me sober every day now. My life is so much more enjoyable, and filled with so much more life that my true desire is to be sober.
The change definitely took time, but I think I can assuredly say that without commitment I would not have made it this far.
Sober can be easy when you are all fired up and motivated… But when you’re down, unmotivated, angry, lonely, tired etc… that’s when commitment gets you through.
Chasing forgotten dreams and accomplishing things I only talked about as a drunk has helped me.
Spending my beer money on things to help me chase those dreams has been huge. I would have never been able to buy the cameras, the boat, if I was still drinking.
Coming back to AA has made a huge positive difference in my mental health.
Being of service to other is where I get the most benefits towards my recovery.
What helps me stay focused on sobriety is keeping this list on my phone…it reminds me of why I started this journey and what I want to leave behind and how I want to live my life …
Feel healthy, clear and strong - mentally and physically
No hangovers ever!!
Treating my husband with respect and no drunk fighting
Self respect gets a major boost
No more internal conflict about drinking and if/how can I cut down or stop
Restful restorative uninterrupted sleep!!! (Still working on this one!)
No waking up wondering where I am or whoa I am with
Major pride in myself and all that I have and can accomplish
A sense of peace and calm
No more embarrassment and shame because of my drunk behavior
Forgiving myself for past mistakes and terrible judgement
No wondering what I did or how I hurt husband or others while drunk
No treating people I love, including myself, poorly while drunk
No drunk driving and possibly hurting self or others or jail
No upset stomach from drinking
No anxiety and near constant agitation when hungover
No dark suicidal thoughts
No shame around neighbors if I was loud and yelling or loud music
No blackouts ever
No overwhelming shame at my behavior
No oversharing with strangers while drunk or making plans I will need to cancel
Not having to check my phone in the middle of the night to delete social media posts - no drunk texting/emails/posts/calls
Not be bloated and puffy and look haggard
Major pride in myself and a boost in self esteem
No hangovers ever again (this needs to be said twice!!!)
No more excuses or lies
Peace of mind
Self respect, self esteem, self confidence, self love
My motivation? I love freedom. Freedom FROM addiction and freedom TO live my best life.
We all have our portion of time on this Earth. I want to make the most of my portion. I won’t waste another day soaked in the bottle. Almost 4.5 years since my last drink, and every day has been a good day. Even the bad days. Any day I start and end sober is a good day, regardless of what happens in between waking and sleeping.
My desire im 100percent better sober than drunk so that was a no brainer stay sober have a full life i thought i must be a idiot if i thought going back to what i was when drinking would be better .so meetings program and a lust for living that why ive managed to stay sober this long without any relapses keep on trucking
Meetings and listening to others’ stories helps remind me of the lows of addition, and the struggles of early society. Otherwise I might forget and get complacent.
My motivation is my desire to live without that fucking beast always driving my thoughts & actions. Every time I see another person just getting sober at a meeting it motivates me to not forget what it was like and where I never need to be again.
Helping others and serving the community reinforce the feeling of being whole.
I LOVE that you started your sobriety for you, you’re not using anything as a crutch and taking responsibility for your life. I also have no kids, no marriage none of that.
I’m at almost a year and a half and before that had about a six month stint, before that it was broken with a few one month runs…
The main thing that keeps my soberiety going now is the realisation of just how much my life has changed for the better. I have new hobbies; playing an instrument, a dance class, I started running, the house is better maintained, I’m climbing and mountaineering way more than I was before. I have more money… The positives go on. Why would I return to the shit that was at the bottom of a wine bottle? It’s a no brainer for me.
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