“What’s your plan?” Please help!


#1

I keep reading posts from relapsing and newly sober and I keep seeing “whats your plan?” Or “what has changed this time?” And that got me thinking. I came back into this quite impulsively. I didn’t have a plan. The only thing that truely changed was me and my attitude and I fear that is just as easily thrown away as my lack of plan. I’m on my 10th day AF and I have pushed past cravings and urges, but it makes me feel so small when they hit. They are so intense, it feels like the calling of the ring to hobbits man. Can I get examples of some plans that have helped you guys please!


#2

I’ve found that having the urge in the first place means something is gravely wrong. That’s how you should look at it. You hopefully don’t get the urge to throw yourself off a cliff or run into traffic. Why is the slow death okay?


#3

AA is a good plan…worked for me.


#4

For me, i changed people places and things. If i wanted to be sober, my life style had to change. I dont hang out with drinkers, I dont go to restaurants where I drank. I also started a program. AA was the one I went with.


#5

Asking all the right questions, IMHO! :+1:

I think that change in attitude is the first part of any good plan. Without that shift I never would have sought out more to begin with.

The plan comes in how to ride up and over the bumps that follow. A “program of recovery.” Lots of people have gotten sober before me. How’d they do it? I find out and I do that, too.

For many it’s a literal program. AA, SMART, Refuge Recovery, CBT,… the list is as long as my arm. Check one/many out!

At first my plan was how to get over the initial quit. That meant writing down why I was quitting. The bad drinking had done and the good I could have sober. Also taking inventory of things that might lead me to drink and eliminating them. Making healthier lifestyle choices/discipline in general. All stuff I picked up reading here.

Shortly after I jumped into AA. That has made the lasting difference for me this time around.


#6

Here is mine (my doc is alcohol)

  • No alcohol in my house
  • Refrigerator filled with nice food and alc. free drinks
  • Telling my spouse about my sober plan
  • Avoid alcohol related activities and friends (at least in the beginning)
  • Having a day counter
  • Avoid wine/beer section in the supermarket and avoid liquor store
  • Taking a strong vitamine B complex
  • Taking melatonin to help me sleep
  • Be gentle to myself, like go to bed early, taking a long bath, etc.
  • Doing relaxing activaties like meditate, yoga, walking, etc.
  • When I have cravings: I don’t pick up that first one but I walk, run, work out, eat chocolat, watch Netflix, clean, study, whatever.
  • Ask for help when I need it.
  • Be here every day to check in sober.

#7

For me, my plan is to get up at 4am every day, even on weekends. Pray on waking. Make my bed. Make a cup of coffee. Read a bit. Then I work out hard, every day. I work or take care of “life stuff”, and then I go to martial arts class 5 days a week. No tv during the week. In the evening I eat, read, sleep.

I’ve come to this forum every day, 497 days straight. I also have 497 days since my last drink. Coincidence? I think not.

I have an accountability partner. A close friend with whom I have the type of relationship that when he asks “how are you?” He expects nothing less than the truth, and won’t accept a rote “I’m fine.”

Very spartan. Very structured. All about the self-discipline. Maybe not for everyone. Working well for me.

Some do some variation of this, and go to meetings. Some get a sponsor. Some IOP. Some in-patient rehab.

The point of having a plan is we can wander into addiction, but we can’t wander out. We have to be deliberate and intentional. So think about your DOC. When are you most challenged? Where? Around whom? Develop a strategy for this. What will you do when a craving hits, or you’ve had a bad day? What will you do instead of turning to your DOC? The time to think about these things is before they happen.

And if you stumble, immediately get back on the path. Dont wallow in self-pity and self-loathing. Review what happened and what worked and didn’t work. Escalate. If you hadn’t given meetings a try, start. If you’ve been going, get a sponsor. If you’re doing this and it’s not enough, try rehab.

Decide to be better, and then be better. Keep getting better at getting better each and every day. That’s the overall plan.


#8

My recovery plan has included…

Being active on the following apps…

Talking Sober
Reddit r/stopdrinking
Women for Sobriety (WFS)
Soberistas
She Recovers
Various Facebook groups

Yin yoga, bicycle riding, HIIT fitness classes, hatha yoga, walking, yoga nidra, running, hiking

Meditation and sleep meditations

Eating a lot of sweets and then after a year and a half, quitting sugar and processed carbs

No wine in house

Journaling

Hot epsom baths or soaking in the hot tub (especially helpful when anxious)

Eating clean / keto / drinking a LOT of LaCroix, now I drink water and tea

Reading and rereading a LOT of sober memoirs/novels (there is a great list of them on here)

Keeping a list of how I want to live my life/what sobriety offers…I keep it on my phone and when I start thinking, hey, maybe just one glass of wine, I read my list and remember how desperate and unhappy drinking made me. Here is some of that list…

No hangovers ever!!

Treating my husband with respect and no drunk fighting

Self respect gets a major boost

No more internal conflict about drinking and if/how can I cut down or stop

Restful restorative uninterrupted sleep!!!

Major pride in myself and all that I have and can accomplish

A sense of peace and calm

No more embarrassment and shame because of my behavior

Forgiving myself for past mistakes and terrible judgement

No wondering what I did or how I hurt husband or others while drunk

No treating people I love, including myself, poorly while drunk

No drunk driving and possibly hurting self or others or jail

No upset stomach from drinking

No anxiety and near constant agitation when hungover

No dark suicidal thoughts

No shame around neighbors if I was loud and yelling or loud music

No blackouts ever

No overwhelming shame at my behavior

No oversharing with strangers while drunk or making plans I will need to cancel

Not having to check my phone in the middle of the night to delete social media posts - no drunk texting/emails/posts/calls

Not be bloated and puffy and look haggard

Clear skin and eyes

Major pride in myself and a boost in self esteem

No hangovers ever again

No more excuses or lies

Peace of mind


#9

Doing a pro con list of staying sober and using

Writing myself a letter on why I should stay sober

Meditating at least 2 times a day.

(Additional )exercise against cravings

Sauna

Being accountable to certain people

Writing a diary where I am honest and where I tell myself the goal for the next day (hint: the goal is always sobrietY)

Daily confrontation with anti addiction media

Healthy food

Drawing

I made a plan for each day of the week, with wake up time and stuff to do, thats healthy or productive, no timefor boredom and no time for time wasters

Thanking myself im the evening for going to bed sober. Thats one of the best things. I made it that day, so I can make it every day.

Day counter and looking at statistics.


#10

Thank you all so much! This really helps to see. I love lists and I have taken suggestions from yours. I have been going to AA meetings. I have a couple tracker apps on my phone as well as the blue chair app. I’ve been on this forum daily since I joined. I’ve stayed off Facebook lately, too many party and club posts lately. I work in a bar setting which makes things annoying at times. My husband does drink but he has hidden the alcohol out of the house. I bought a couple journals yesterday. Maybe I’ve been more proactive than I had origionally thought.


#11

When I first got sober, I needed time to get physically separated from alcohol. I used Antabuse and AA, individual counseling and an accountability plan.

Today I wake, drink water, make coffee, pray and meditate. 3 days a week I hit an early morning AA meeting, and one on Saturday night and one every other Wednesday night. I call sober friends in AA or my sponsor daily. And I try to take it easy, let stuff slide off me and stay out of drama. I have enough trouble between my ears as it is, I’m not inviting a bunch of hooligans to move in rent free!

You are already doing something that works, so identifying what it is makes a great first step!


#12

This is good. “Fakebook” isn’t a place for people who a learning to, and wanting to live in the real world.


#13

If your workplace is challenging to your sobriety, a career change may be a wise choice.


#14

Yea! You are definitely right! I have been looking for other jobs. Cut my hours drastically. Especially because this is a job I was used to working intoxicated. Trying to now work sober is harder than I had imagined. I feel like I’m living in an entirely different world lately and this job is no longer a part of it.


#15

Sounds like a plan. Keep getting after it!


#16

My plan so far.

Leave my old lifestyle in the rearview. This includes “friends” and places.

Use healthy stress management skills, like meditation, exercise, thinking through problems, talking problems out.

Occupy my mind and time with healthy activities.

Explore AA, attend meetings to experience first hand.

Listen to sobriety podcasts.

Build sober network. Make new sober friends.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t sweat the big stuff.

Have fun, look for the silver lining everyday.


#17

I have found several very helpful and active sobriety groups on Facebook. They help me a lot.


#18

I found that plans don’t work for me. Something really drastic has to happen for me to do something about my toxic habits. What gets me motivated is motivational YouTube videos. There’s tons of them


#19

When i was a bartender last summer working on the lake, thats what i did the whole summer pretty much… Drink… Drink. And drink again… And try to manage my salon job as a hair stylist… I realized letting go of the bar gig helped me alot on noticing how messed up i was and falling into the catagory of the TRUE ALCOHOLICS as i would call them… Wanna wake up and drink and become a regular. Waiting on bars to open to serve alcohol… Its was too tiring to base my life around getting drunk… Or as i would say " im not drunk, i just have a buzz… Im good" smh i sooooo was not good!!! Glad i can realize my flaws and hopefully grow from them


#20

Copying the list :grin: