Here’s what say: No thanks. I’m good.
That’s enough. No one could make me quit drinking. I had to want to quit. I did. Now, no one can make me drink, because I quit.
Here’s what say: No thanks. I’m good.
That’s enough. No one could make me quit drinking. I had to want to quit. I did. Now, no one can make me drink, because I quit.
The ONLY answer.
Just politely decline. If they insist, simply state “I don’t drink”.
If anyone wants to grill you or has a problem with your choice…well, that’s their issue. Your decision not to drink is for your happinness, not theirs.
Easier said then done for some, maybe – but it’s the truth.
Add to the list:
“I’m in training for my next underground fight”.
“The last time I drank, three of my friends needed physical therapy, and I needed a lawyer”
“I’m allergic to alcohol. Every time I drink, I break out in handcuffs.”
I agree. It’s absurd that someone won’t take a polite, simple “No Thanks”. So of they press, give them an absurd answer, but one that makes them think you are insane.
“Ever wake up covered in blood that wasn’t yours with no idea whose it is? That’s why I don’t drink.”
Thank you! And congrats on 40 days! Ive been a drinker since 16 years old, I have only ever said yes to an offer to drink so this is very unfamiliar territory for me. I don’t feel comfortable in it at all yet!
I dont identify as an alcoholic, but I’m not drinking right now. I am honest and say “I’m taking a break from drinking for a bit” or “my anxiety has been really intense, so I’m trying going dry to see if it helps”. And you know what? Five of my friends said “I’ve been extra anxious lately too, let’s do sober stuff together” so we had a sober night last night.
I find that honesty is pretty cool, and more people want to quit than you realize.
Understand. We all have different circumstances and personalities. For instance, I am in the business community where late night drinking at conferences, golf outings and social gatherings with customers are common. If I am trying to attract a client who is 3 drinks in and wants to order me one, I am going to use a “go to” rather than get into a potential discussion about my old habits. “I dont drink anymore because I used to drink to much” is not the correct answer for me in that situation. Also, by doing so I’m going to create separation between the two of us and may touch on some sensitivities they may have. Triple this if there are more than one person at the table. I also have terrible anxiety and it is just not something I want to talk about. So, I’ll kindly make something up to avoid the topic. FWIW the OP and I are on the same page and I’m trying to support him. Thank you
Sorry some of us are new here. I’m trying to support the OP
I agree. I have a hard time with it. Too bad we didn’t live closer. It’s tough. I’ve made some friends here but we aren’t close yet so it’s awkasrd to turn down drinking. I try too but if I’m honest sometimes I’m too shy too and I have a drink or two. I am proud that I don’t have many and many drinks. This guy I was convinced to move here by and me had a falling out and I am taking it very hard. I use my drinking to self medicate my anxiety and depression which at times can be quite severe. I have an easier time talking about that then my drinking, I guess because I feel I am so young for these problems. But it can affect anyone at any age. It’s a hard thing to deal with but my aunt and I just spoke on the phone and she said I sound like I am doing better than I was a year - six months ago so I suppose that is something to celebrate. All the power to you, we are fighting a tough battle but it can only get easier.
For a first pass, I’ve found “No thank you… no really, just (water/La Croix/soda) would be great, thanks,” is enough 90% of the time.
I sometimes feel like I need an excuse to not drink. That’s backwards “old me” thinking. It’s enough that I do not want a drink, and also usually enough for others. They may simply figure it means I’m not the sort to drink much/at all (or “anymore”) and let it go in general. Bonus.
It’s the same for me, most people expect me to drink because I’ve always done that. But I feel like it’s getting better. I try to tell more and more people (at my one pace) and I try to make new friends who don’t question the fact that I don’t drink. I hope it will get easier for you too! Like it’s always said: one day at a time
I work night shift, so my excuse (if asked) for not drinking at a Halloween party coming up is “I’m on-call”… meaning I could be called into work at any minute if the hospital gets busy (but I’m not actually scheduled to work ). These are the hubby’s friends, who I’m not that close to, so I don’t feel like giving a response that could potentially lead to “why?”. Maybe later.
Your first point is fair, the OP can decide. Discounting another’s experience out of hand, not as cool.
My experience is similar to @anon62920945’s. Spinning outright falsehoods leads to more doubt/guilt. At least for me, those are the sorts of feelings I need distance from to stay positive and sober. Doesn’t mean we have to have a full on “I’m sober nao!” discussion or anything, either.
Other’s mileage may vary.
I have just told people that I’m not drinking any more. No one has really asked about it, they’ve mainly just said good for you. If people have asked and I don’t want to go into the whole story I just say I feel better without it. I’ve gone into more detail with some people than others but tbh I don’t really mind going into the story. I reckon sometimes it might give someone else struggling with alcohol something to think about, maybe they could stop too.
You could just say I’m not drinking tonight. If pressed, say you don’t feel like it. If more questions come your way, just repeat and change the subject. But I doubt it will come to that. Something I have learned (and was advised here!) is that most people don’t care about how much we drink as much as we do! And if people do, well that’s their problem and thats for them to deal with
“you paying for my bail and DUI lawyer?”
That is so cool! Real friends will always be there regardless. Honesty definitely the best policy.
@anon62920945 bring your high horse on over, we’ll play some polo.
I lied about my drinking, tried to hide it. Definitely not gonna use the same logic when trying to stay sober.
That’s actually true in my case, if I get cravings I take a sedative antidepressant and if I ever were to drink on it I’d be seriously ill (mirtazapine)
Saying somenody is on a high horse is a bit rude, especially when they have a very valid point.
Lies will have to be made up to support the other lies
Maybe you can stick to just posting constructive comments and keep the negative ones that dont have any positive impact here to yourself.
Pretty sure the OP will chose whatever they seem fitting.