This is the flip-flop of the just for fun thread What I really, really miss about drinking or using
This is for the nasty stuff.
As I’ve started it, I’ll go first:
What I don’t miss is opening cupboards and closets and having Vodka and JD bottles raining down on my head & not having a clue how they got there or who put them there.
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What I don’t miss about alcohol…
Lying to my husband
Lying to my kids about why i can’t drive them somewhere or why i don’t want friends over
Waking up and vomiting before work
Hiding my empty alcohol containers
There is tons more too
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I dont miss waking up needing a drink. I dont miss the grind and deception.
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I do not miss having everybody I care about angry with me all the time, and me never being able to remember why.
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Taste of death in my mouth in the mornings 
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Anxiety coursing through my bloodstream…
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I don’t miss waking up at 3 am with a racing heart, dying of thirst. I don’t miss being diarrhea sick all morning. I don’t miss my swollen face. I don’t miss not remembering going to bed. I don’t miss having to apologize for my behavior, or what hurtful truth came out. I don’t miss worrying so much that I was killing myself. Thank you God for my fabulous today!
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I don’t miss the following:
Waking up in the middle of the night to drink beers
Lying constantly
Drinking and driving
Drinking at work
Doing beer math
Anxiety
Suicidal thoughts
The hopelessness
A poor relationship with my wife
Hiding the booze smell constantly
The massive cost of drinking the way i did
Fuck Alcohol
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Being unable to stick to plans I made with friends and family
Being unable to control my emotional outbursts
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Having conversations with my wife while blacked out, then trying to pretend I know what we talked about the next day.
Also won’t ever miss being violently ill most of the next day after tying one on, which was most weekdays.
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Anxiety, feeling rock bottom, no purpose, fallouts with people they tried to help me see sense. Over reacting to silly things. Almost losing people close to me over my actions. Affecting my career, making bad decisions. Being very unbalanced. List goes on. I’m grateful for day 41 sober 
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Waking up at 3 a.m. (always damn 3 a.m.) and have my first thought being “Oh no. Not again”
The shame…the self loathing…
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Sleeping and waking up with racing heartbeats, I read that alcohol increases the likelihood of a cardiac episode by 16% every time you drink.
Pretending I was okay to drive and wondering how the hell I got home the next day.
Checking my truck to see if I hit anything after driving drunk the next day.
My family seeing me always with a full glass of bourbon on the couch and my kids thinking that’s a healthy wind down to the day.
Being overly sensitive to conversations with my wife and her being confused and hurt why I’m upset and going to bed without talking to her.
Trying to coach baseball games on a Saturday morning in 110 degree heat after too many beers the night before.
Making choices that could ruin all the beautiful things in my life.
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Hearing from someone about something I said or did that I had up till then no clue about.
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I don’t miss giving my number away too freely and then thinking that all these random people would hunt me down and murder me if I didn’t be their friends bc I was way too sociable when I met them the night before.
Yea…. My anxiety was off the wall (probably more of a paranoia issue)
Also don’t miss feeling like I’d lose my family or job all the time. I still feel like my past may come back to bite me but pushing it off and continuing to fuck up sure as hell isn’t the better option!
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Alcohol made me replay negative experiences inside my brain over and over again, being sober has stopped that.
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Waking up in the middle of the night with no booze watching the clock till you can get more ,looking at your phone to piece together what you could possibly have done said ,starting the whole cycle over and over again
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Absolutely true!
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Terrible hour, so do I, hate this hour at night because effectively I sadly did it again.
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Do miss being a lier, through empty bottles to the trash, black outs, have lost my dignity.
Do not miss the poor, bad, awful person I was when I drunk. Now sober I daily realise it in a deeper way.
Long live sobriety life!
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