One time woke up to a bloody pillow, I must have hit my head as I fell. So much blood, freaked me out. Another time forgot a pot on the stove and woke up to firemen waking me up. Caused a fire alarm to the whole building. Embarrassing. The whole apartment smelled like smoke for weeks. Never told anyone about it. Probably because it would have been admitting that I have a serious alcohol problem.
Had sex with random guys. In the later stages of this disease I started to isolate when I drank and always texted or called people ācatching upā and the next day always wondered if I said anything stupid.
The worst thing i ever did brought me to my bottom. I made videos to my kids apologizing for leaving them and not being a good father. I placed a chair next to my trash bin as i didnt want to leave a mess and i put a gun to my head. My wife heard my crying outside when she came home early from work as she felt something was wrong. The alcohol had lost its āfunā long before and now it was something i needed just to function (i thought) and it was going to kill me. Im so happy and grateful to be living and loving everything and everyone around me today. Strength and serenity friends.
Once they couldnāt wake me up, so they called their dad. I. Felt. Awful.