@chloconut thank you! I’m actually only on 6 days right now. I hit half a year before but had a bad relapse recently. (Hopefully my last) … not sure if I worded my sobriety wrong on here . My auto correct doesn’t seem to work the best with this app haha.
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@SoberVigilant it’s weird when you’re detoxing on the first few days and being drunk or high feels more normal then actually being sober. Such a strange feeling I still can’t get over in my better sober self.
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Yes it’s almost like having to learn for yourself who you really are lol
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I want to be sober because being on any substance takes me out of the present moment. I don’t recognize myself and it takes away all the joyful moments that are constant. I’m so much more clear headed & happy.
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I acknowledge the fact that I “have” an addictive & destructive personality * it’s been hard to say “no” & believe I could drink like a normal person * I acknowledge I am not normal & cannot * I acknowledge that I need support * I continue to seek spiritual & mental strength from within * I continually challenge myself to be Alcohol Free another day * I acknowledge that I am my worst enemy and manipulator * I wake every morning & pray to my Higher Powers for strength, courage & guidance… no one at home knows my “true” struggle * I do this because I know I have to and want to 
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3 OVIs, inevitably losing my career, 7 arrests, 2 jail stints and 2 court ordered rehabs all within 5 years, all related to alcohol.
I was ordered a pretrial SCRAM monitor to prevent me from drinking before my 3rd OVI court date and started using inhalants. That’s when my life really turned upside down. I went to my 2nd court ordered rehab for the required two weeks, but I had so much shame about the inhalant abuse that I never mentioned it. I wasn’t honest with myself or the staff about either addiction to get the help I needed. I was required to keep the SCRAM monitor for 3 more months upon my release. So, I kept using inhalants. After 8 months of inhalant abuse I had 3 hospital visits, lost more jobs, was scaring my family with incoherent phone calls (they’re all out of state), trashing my apartment, losing a disgusting amount of weight and spending all of my money, I checked myself into rehab for both addictions.
I finally took my recovery seriously and have been clean since I went into rehab voluntarily on November 14th, 2022.
I competed a 45 day inpatient program, completed intensive outpatient classes that were three days a week, currently do outpatient classes twice a week, one on one therapy once a week and get a Vivitrol shot once a month. I have a great job, a new apartment, about to be off of probation early and am hoping for driving privileges soon. I plan on going back to school for my Masters Degree after a year and a half of sobriety when I feel like I can trust myself more.
I have a lot of work to do to get where I want to be, but as hard as life gets, everything’s been so much better for me since being sober.
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I agree! When drinking was no longer a social event, it became an isolation way of life. When isolation and drinking lead to blackouts six days a week it became a serious issue.
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I hated that voice in my head dictating me when to drink. I hated the black outs and the hangovers. And finally hated that lying bitch I became 
Almost 5 years sober now, lucky to have turned around my life.
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Congratulations on your sobriety success I work at the hospital and we are getting more and more fentanyl cases everyday 
it’s really getting out of control and it is sad. Im glad you made it out Welcome to a safe place 
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I got tired of always feeling like shit shameful and guilty if I even remembered what I said or did I knew it wasn’t safe or healthy for me to drink anymore and I was risking tremendous losses 
I here now and have no desire to go back to feeling like that ever again
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Congratulations and welcome
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I got tired of trying to be “normal” and “fit in” by drinking. It only brought my mental health down and my anxiety up. I was tired of self medicating and not facing life head on.
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There’s a long back story somewhere in stories on my profile. But for this time,second time around it’s simple.
I’m not the person I want to be when I’m drinking and I’m drinking to escape reality. It’s not the right way to do things.
Not that I’m getting aggressive or something when I drink, it’s the other way around. But I can’t stop either. If there’s a supply I’m drinking until I pass out.
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There’s no single reason for me. As years passed the failures and destruction kept getting worse.
Employment continued getting harder to keep, health continued declining, relationships were destroyed, I became a danger to myself and others. Thoughts of suicide began to feel comforting when I was always terrified of death. I started having bizarre thoughts, like wishing I had a terminal illness so I could go out loaded on morphine and be done with it. I was too chicken to do it myself, so let nature handle it.
I basically had to make a choice between life or death, and hopefully do something positive before it’s all over.
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I didn’t have a choice. I was about to lose everything, my job, my two kids, etc. I was on my way to the grave.
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I was horrified at the sneaky rat I’d become, and I was terrified of the risks I was taking. At the rate I was going it was inevitable that the terrible truth of my drinking would become apparent, and it would be life-changingly unpretty when it did. So I needed to do something, and I needed do it on my own terms, because if I’d had sobriety forced on me, I would have gone even further underground.
(Oh, and not forgetting being bloated, sweaty, sleepless, constantly needing a wee!)
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I thought I had “tried” everything. I was tired of it all and was going to kill myself. I was given the chance to try 1 more time. The rest is history…
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Honestly, I was just tired and wanted to stop. I was tired of feeling like crap, tired of the weight gain, tired of wasting like full days. Ya’ girl was TIRED! 
There were other things like developing mild fatty liver, being my dad’s caretaker, my pets, my home but I still pretty much was set in my ways and being selfish. It took me physically feeling like an actual garbage dump 
that made me want to change.
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I reached the end of the line. Lost my love, jobs etc.
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I had, had enough.
Enough of feeling awful all day every day, enough of trying to work out if i was legal to drive, enough of throwing money away, enough of rushing home from work to get a beer, enough of it all.
It came to a head on boxing day, i was sat in the pub trying to cure my hangover, i just looked around myself sat in the pub surrounded by washed out future versions of myself that i spent every night with and decided to change.
Left the pub (shamefully) finished the last of the beer in my house that night and havent looked back.
Ive been in my old local pub once since then for a friends funeral, got some funny looks drinking lemonade but that only reinforced my decision.
It is early days in sobriety for me but all the differences are positive.
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