Well I went back down the wrong path again. I did real goodbfor awhile then I started drinking again because it was the drugs that caused me problems not the beer (atleast in my mind). Last night I ran into some old friends and I was drinking and after a while I was getting high again. Now my wife is threatening to leave me and probably rightfully so. Why do I keep going in this circle? And how do I fix it? She thinks i cheated on her which I absolutely didn’t do but she wont listen when I tell her the truth about what happened. I have never tried to hide my mistakes from her. I figure its better to be honest in some way i feel that makes it better. I just wish I could get off this merry go round
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In my caer recognised I have a problem and I am an alcoholic it helps with my wife. I say her that, sometimes this is stronger than me and it is not my desire getting drunk but my problem starts with only one drink.
I am almost seven months sober, I almost everyday confess my wife I continue having a problem and I am not going ever to drink normally anyway.
I try to go out with her as much as possible and of course I am not drinking.
But recognise I am weak and I must not deal with the bottle has helped to my marriage.
Of course, ask for forgiveness and say her how important is her support in your life.
You (both of you) can save this!
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Try a meeting might help wish you well
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I think you answered it yourself- you said you thought the only problem you had was drugs, but you drank at the start of the evening in question and then, boom, you’re on a path you no longer wish to travel. Sounds like you need to reevaluate your addiction. Sober life might include booze too.
As for your wife, accusing you of cheating on her sounds like she is, in fact, building up a case for herself to leave like you suspect. Even if it’s false. Take it from a woman here, it doesn’t matter if she’s wrong. You are more wrong. Include her in your new sober plan, and remember her anger is justified because, no matter what is true, you are more wrong.
Keep coming here too. This place has helped me so much.
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I absolutely agree she is with in her rights to be upset. I screwed up thats on me. It just doesn’t help to be accused of something that didn’t happen. I do have some work ahead of me to fix things I need to look into a plan. Thanks for the input
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You can get off the merry go round, there’s plenty of people who do and I have no doubt you could too.
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What did you do four the last four years to seek outside support for your sobriety?
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If you want off, you got to fully get off. That means no alcohol, no soft drugs, also means when you run into old friends you say “good seeing you, welp, gotta run”. It also means working a sobriety program everyday. You can get off that merry go round because the only thing keeping you on is you. You can do it.
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Honestly nothing
What are you willing to do? Because doing nothing is going to change nothing
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I dont really know what to do. I have tried meetings and it wasn’t really for me. I threw out all my alcohol to start
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Maybe you could try a different meeting. They all are a little different. What have you got to lose? Try everything, with no judgement.
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Was the meeting better or worse than how your life is going now?
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Write down a list of all the things you have to lose if you keep drinking and start checking in here sober each day for starters.
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U make a final decision to stop for good, you be honest with yourself about your drinking/using then you go about working out all of the reasons that brought you to drinking…actually list them down then go about sorting them out one by one taking any help you can possibly find, you make your sobriety your absolute top priority and protect it with all your power because you want a better life
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Would love to hear what you are doing to help
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When I hear this, it resonates with me. I used to say that I wasn’t a “groups” kind of guy. But here are two facts.
#1, I was not done drinking. If I had been honest with myself and others, I would have said that I wanted to drink more than I wanted to do the necessary work to stay sober,
#2, AA has been the path to sobriety for millions of people for over 90 years. What “didn’t work” for me about AA for years was that they wanted me to not drink, to have an open mind and to be honest. I was unable to do those things and I was unable to admit I could not do them.
Are you done yet? Because if you are, you can show up and ask for help. If you are not, then do not confuse wanting to drink without the consequences with wanting to be sober.
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It sounds like you have a great plan. I just dont know about meetings. I have done them so.e many different times and it seems people only go there to hook up with each other and I dont need that
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I can feel your sadness in your writing @Maria13 …nothing that you said or are doing is foolish whatsoever…infact i think what youve written is very brave and honest, i commend you for that. Ive never gone to meetings but ive read up on the 12 steps and im doing them in my own way along with other types of therapy…working on my self esteem and learning from people on here…my community/fellowship are the people on this site for now. Id like to send u a massive hug 
and some love from me. I think you are a brave lady and deserve some compassion and understanding, we are all here for you and @CHASE.E.U 
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I can’t tell you what that means to me today. I’m lost today.
I deleted my post because I got too self conscious 
. I’m a professional worrier.
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