Welcome Kari You are not alone. Everyone here grapples with the addiction voice and the addiction behaviours. Everyone here has walked their own unique path, but there are many common features.
By asking and learning and working one day, one hour at a time, you get freedom. It takes time and effort but it does come. It will not be a comfortable experience and it will challenge you, physically and emotionally, but if you keep reaching out and connecting with knowledgeable and helpful people, you will get there.
Read around here on Talking Sober. There’s lots of wise folks with stories to share. There’s a daily check-in thread too, which is always nice to catch up and see where everyone’s at. Make yourself at home
Ahhh the good old ’ Can’t live with it can’t live without it’…
It’s a good crossroad to be at bc it means your starting to get honest with yourself, before you know it you’ll be at the next stage ’ Sick and tired of being sick and tired’
At this stage a choice will have to be made and action will have to be taken.
One day you’ll be prepared to do anything to stay sober, that’s the day your new life begins.
I wish you well on your journey
Welcome aboard! Many folks here know exactly what you’re going through. I can’t tell you the number of times I ping ponged back and forth before I finally decided to stop the insanity, and it wasn’t until I joined TS that I was able to rack up some serious sober time. Visit often, read around, see what helps with your journey. You are in good company here!
Knowledge about alcohol and alcoholism and self knowledge are all very good things. So is awareness of the certain consequences of continued drinking - job loss, family loss, self-worth crushed, mounting shame and financial debt, the inevitable toll on all body systems. And all that knowledge and logic is useless to get and stay sober. I have an advanced degree in clinical psychology, have done plenty of therapy, even taught therapy, I spent about 15 years of my career researching alcoholism, addiction, substance abuse treatment and the action of drugs on the brain.
I had to have a spiritual experience, like an out of body experience with a message from the universe, to get and stay sober. My drunken pursuit of something to satisfy my spirit only led to further dampening of my soul fire, until just a tiny spark was left. But from that, a heartwarming glow has grown.
You’ll find many answers to this question because one way or another it is a question that all of us ask when we start trying to quit the drug that is keeping us down.
For me the best explanation is a conflict between the conscious and unconscious mind. Consciously you know that you should not drink, but you cannot force your unconscious to agree, it has to be reprogrammed. There are a number of books out there which use the same technique for trying to align the conscious and unconscious but “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace worked for me.
Try and find something which works for you, whatever that might be!
This naked mind is awesome! I can also recommend “we are the luckiest” and “push off from here” by Laura mckowen (these books who are about her alcoholism and freedom from it brought me to tears multiple times because they were so relatable, and I’m more of a drug addict than alcoholic so that really shows how similar our addiction is no matter the drug), and Alan carrs book on alcohol. I think knowing more about this disease and the effects of alcohol can only be beneficial.
That’s addiction. Everyone on this forum has had the same thought. We understand. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. You need to attack sobriety from different angles and keep trying until a certain program sticks. Try the suggestions below, and keep active here. Resources for our recovery
I feel the same way. I am 5 days sober, but justify my actions from jumping off one addiction to another…
Cigarettes, alcohol, crack, speed, valium…,. It is like I just can’t be substance free. Have a good day
Welcome Kari stay strong and don’t give up! You can do this. The community here is amazing and very supportive. I’ve found that reading other people’s posts helps a lot; when I’m thinking about relapsing, I just come here and read around. The two most recurring and effective advices I’ve come across here are: “take it one day, even one hour, at a time” and “one is too many and a thousand isn’t enough.” The second one is something I keep repeating to myself because we all know what it’s like, right? You pick up the first one and you’re back on the rollercoaster from hell.
Sending you hugs. Hang in there, it’ll get easier
Thank you for your kind response and not putting pressure on me. I dont know what my game plan is, but at least im reaching out for help which i normally wouldnt do. Thank you for making me feel like im not alone in this as well and everyone who left a comment.
Can you please elaborate because i dont want to accidentally take this comment the wrong way. What do you mean what am i doing to get sober besides “not drinking”?
Oh okay, yes! Forgive me. I have joined AA and I’ve found this app. As for anything else im doing, just trying to stay concentrated on my goal and do right for my kids. I don’t have a support system at home.
Welcome Kari. You have found a good place here. Most of us have been where you are and made some of the same not so smart choices. Just take it one day at a time and keep reaching out for support. Wishing you good luck!
It’s coming up on dinner time Kari, end of day, for a lot of us that is a tough time (for me it is, I’m tired, I find my transitions through this time are important).
Maybe you can make yourself a safe space for tonight (safe, meaning, it’s a place you can find healthy, helpful company at the end of the day when you are tired - sometimes that is safer than being alone), by joining a virtual meeting?
There’s a 24/7 women’s meeting here (this is one of many, you can search “women AA zoom meeting” or “24 hour women’s AA meeting” or “women’s AA marathon meeting” or similar terms and find more):
You have to be logged into Zoom to access that meeting (with your Zoom account - if you don’t have a Zoom account, you can create one for free here: Sign Up Free | Zoom) - they do that to help protect the meeting from trolls.
Have a safe night Kari, take care and we’ll see you tomorrow!
You are not alone. Everyone here grapples with the addiction voice and the addiction behaviours. Everyone here has walked their own unique path, but there are many common features.
stay strong and don’t give up! You can do this. The community here is amazing and very supportive. I’ve found that reading other people’s posts helps a lot; when I’m thinking about relapsing, I just come here and read around. The two most recurring and effective advices I’ve come across here are: “take it one day, even one hour, at a time” and “one is too many and a thousand isn’t enough.” The second one is something I keep repeating to myself because we all know what it’s like, right? You pick up the first one and you’re back on the rollercoaster from hell.
