From using everyday. To then once every 3 days. To then once a week. Then once a month! But now I’m here back to every 3 days for this past month 
I’m so angry at myself. Why can’t I just kick it away and say no and be strong. Or what’s worse!! For my child ! Omg the shame the guilt. I’ve been going to meetings. But now I’m here I don’t no where to turn. What to do
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There’s people here who can offer much more practical advice than I will. But I just want to comment on the feelings of shame and guilt. We’ve all been there, every one of us here has had those exact same feelings. You’re genuinely stronger than you realise right now but you’re doing the right thing by recognising those feelings and facing them head on.
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Sorry to hear you’re struggling. Overcoming addiction is a struggle. It is hard. It is possible but it is hard.
In addiction we do easy things. We use our substance, we do our addiction behaviours, we repeat. We isolate ourselves so we aren’t accountable to anyone; we serve our addiction. Addiction is easy.
Recovery is the opposite of that in every way. Recovery is talking to other people every day and being accountable and disciplined. Recovery is work, every day. It is 100% worth it but it is not easy.
Have you been actively following the instructions in the program (from the meetings), every day? Have you been actively communicating one on one with another member in your group every day? Have you been sharing everything with your group and learning from their struggles and successes, and following their advice?
Sorry you’re struggling. I know it’s hard.
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This is so good, thank you
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To be very honest. I did 3 weeks out of 4 one on one & told everything. But the last one got cancelled and they never rebooked again. I do feel abit hurt and let down but I have been going to groups but I just feel like I can open up. I suffer with anxiety. And most of them have done months and drinking there problems but that doesn’t relate to me. I just can’t open up in groups
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There are other people here on talking sober who have gotten sober without using groups. Have you read some of the books on this list?
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The important thing is no one has gotten sober alone, so there are many different ways to get sober but what all of them have in common is speaking with people who are knowledgable and capable to learn about recovery and then putting that knowledge into practice in your own life and then following up with people so that you can learn and grow a little bit more each day a little bit more each week.
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No I haven’t. I never reached out to anyone until I came on here. No one around me new but I do like to read
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Hey Prinny.
Welcome. I see this isn’t your first time on here. But I don’t believe I’ve seen you before. So welcome.
I used a lot of tools to get sober. Gratitude. Daily gratitude work right here on the gratitude thread. Every. Single. Day. Read it write it. Read others. It retrained my brain. I bet you got a lot to be grateful for. A beautiful child. A roof over your head. I hope. Just waking up each day sober hangover free made my gratitude list. There are lots of wonderful people on the gratitude thread come on over and check us out. Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #8 🪷
The lights are always on. I got so much to be grateful for when I’m sober. I got nothing but shame and guilt and a headache when I’m not sober.
Hope to see ya around.
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I relate to the part of your story about making ourselves promises about our use (only weekends, ill make more last longer etc) and maybe being successful for a while. But, with my addict brain I had absolutly no control at the end of the day, any amount would lead me back where I started eventually. Complete abstinance was the only answer.
After a friend died I was granted the grace to give up hard drugs. He thought he was doing cole but it had Fent in it and he died. My best friend found him. Seeing the trauma of that on his family and friends was my final straw.
I continued to drink though which was always my true problem. Now have almost 3 months alcohol free.
I just wanted to offer my support, and let you know Im rooting for you, truly 
if you said you like reading, I recommend Dry by Agustun Burrows (of running with scissors fame). would you be open to zoom meetings where you could have camera off and not share, just listen? There are speaker meetings which I particularly love where one person shares for about half the meeting. Consider getting a sponsor even.
Lastly, A Womans Way through the 12 Steps is a book and workbook that is applicable to any addiction. Its helping me a lot.
Keep checking in to let us know how youre doing!
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