Why I am here, in a nutshell

Your Story
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I just decided to download this app since my nightly cortisol hormone rush has me awake. I decided Sunday that I was done binge drinking. I realized that I was never going to be able to drink “just one drink” again and I need to make a change.

I began binge drinking in college over 20 years ago. I knew even back then that alcohol was NOT for me but anytime I told my friends that I needed to stop, they said to just drink less. I remember day drinking and then waking up 3 days later with vomit in my hair and didn’t really know how I got there. Just drink less… ugh.

Over the years I have stopped, I had 4 kids but I sometimes drank during pregnancy, both aware and unaware of being pregnant. I did actually stop binging for a long time, too. I even stopped drinking often and was one of those occasional drinkers.

I, as many have, endured a lot of trauma. I learned in therapy that I suffer from generalized anxiety and it developed into C-PTSD. I was on medication and didn’t drink but the medication increased my anxiety after awhile. Plus, my husband would just steal my meds anyway… so back to drinking I went, a 6-pack a day.

Eventually, I got out of my marriage and found EXERCISE and healthy eating and found out how much I love water. THIS was my favorite addiction/anxiety medication so far. THIS worked… until I stopped because I wanted to get the kids into sports and all of them were at different times so I went from dancing and lifting to shuttling kids around.

I made friends with other community members and started spending time in local bars. This is when it started getting progressively worse. Drugs, drinking, random sex with strangers… sometimes I was aware, many times I wasn’t. I wrecked my car a year and a half ago and stopped drinking for a short time and not nearly as long as I thought I would. The risky behaviors keep getting worse, I can drink an 18 pack or more in one night, I blackout every time I drink and I am just tired of this.

I want a healthy mind, soul and body… I want to renew my faith in God… I want a healthy, stable relationship… I want my kids to not worry about me (and yes, they see it all :sob:)… I just want so much for myself and I need to show myself love, not self-hate.

So, here I am. All other social media deactivated and didn’t realize there would be a forum on this app but I look forward to encouraging you all on your journey and I hope you can help do the same for me!! One day at a time :heart:

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Hello! Welcome to the forum. There are so many resources on here too stay on track and from the sounds of your story you know what to do already and have had great successes along the way. Prioritise yourself and your recovery and keep checking in. Here if you need a sounding board, and I’m sure you will find community and support around these pages.

Good luck and welcome :hugs:

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Hi, I’m Mischa, nice to meet you. It’s a good place to be, no judging, tons of great advices. Stay with us, together we are stronger.
Good luck and hope to see you around

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Oh the “just stop after two drinks” advise. Like saying to a depressed person “just cheer up”…
I recognise a lot in your story and I guess the majority of people here will too. There’s a ton of good advise to get on the forum.
Welcome on board!! :raised_hands:

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This is a lot and it will only be achievable gradually and w consistency. You sound determined, are you ready to put the work in?

Here are some resources to get you started. Resources for our recovery

Best of luck.

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It definitely is a lot and I need to break it down😊 Thank you for the resource!

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Welcome!
I joined this group just over 2 years ago with many of the same details in my life as you. It has been a long journey with a lot of work and a lot of learning. But it has also been amazing.

Learning to really take care of yourself and put your health and sobriety first is not only an amazing gift to yourself but also to your family. You get to be well and you deserve to have peace in your life.

It is truly one day at a time, I wish you the best!

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Welcome to Talking Sober! I’m glad you are here, that you have a chance to recover. I can identify with much in your story, so I hope you do see that a serene life in recovery is possible for you, for people like us.

Along with the excellent thread that @Faugxh posted, here is another I love. It has practical advice for getting dry and growing your sobriety. Blessings on your house :pray: as you begin your journey.

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Welcome to the forum. I’m glad you’ve found us. I hope this will be a useful tool for you as you move forward in your sobriety journey. This is cliche to say, but it is true: “It will not be easy, but it will be worth it.”

I urge you to thoroughly explore the forum, and use the search function to find old threads on the topics that interest you most. There is a daily check in thread, which you might find useful to keep focus. There are also many threads not related to sobriety, which will give you the opportunity to engage with others in a light and fun manner, helping you feel a greater sense of community.

I like hearing that you deactivated social media accounts. I think that these platforms legitimately harm people. Being part of a community that has the same sobriety goals as you will be useful, if you choose to use it. There are also other sobriety forums out there which could also be helpful.

Best of luck to you; and, again, welcome!

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Welcome. I’m glad you are here and hope you will stay, heal, learn, share and grow!

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