Why I couldn't get sober

Your Story
1

I used to drink a lot, everyday. This started in my mid 20s all the way through until I turned 40.

I knew I had a problem but I’d make deals with myself to quit when certain things happened (DUI, Losing job, etc). Those things happened and like an idiot, I kept moving the goal post further and further.

I couldn’t quit because I WOULDN’T quit.

I simply didn’t want to quit, I was afraid. I was afraid that life would be boring if I quit. I was afraid I’d live less outloud if I quit. I was afraid of whom I might become.

"You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with" - Jim Rohn

I spent the most of my free time with other drinkers, other junkies, other alcoholics, other people just like me. It was my crew, my gang, my family. I tried quitting, but I’d always found my way back, and I was greater with open arms because, misery loves company, and we were miserable.

This roller coaster lasted 6 or 7 years. I’d quit for a few days then back at it, over and over.

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and decided I had to make a change.

I quit my job, I quit my friends. I quit my drinking.

It’s been 1 year, 9 months and 23 days since I decided to be sober, and I can tell you one thing, I was wrong.

Sober life is not boring! On the contrary, I have lived more in the past 660 days than I’ve lived in my entire life.

It wasn’t easy, but boy was it worth it.

I let fear get in my way for far too long, and now, I am no longer afraid.

114 Likes
2

Good read Dan :+1:and great sober days.

5 Likes
3

I needed to hear that right now thank you and it’s good to see you around

10 Likes
4

I’m really happy to read this Dan!

I have held this quote in my mind a lot recently, it’s surprising how true it is. It’s a very helpful tool when looking at your life critically to evaluate what’s really going on under the surface.

7 Likes
5

Thanks for the inspiring read

3 Likes
6

Such an inspiring post, thank you so much for sharing your journey with all of us!! :heart:

2 Likes
7

Good read man, so inspiring it gives me some hope. Thank you

1 Like
8

if nothing changes, nothing changes - exactly. thanks for sharing! :balloon:

1 Like
9

Glad that you still enjoy your sober life. Couldnt agree more. Thanks

1 Like
10

Thank you @Dejavu. I really needed this tonight. You’ll never know what great timing you have.:pray:

1 Like
11

Great story Dan.
I always thought drinking cured the boredom. At that time I never knew we were the boring ones. All we did was drink and party. Glad you figured it out early. I had to wait til 60. Enjoy every sober second. We are worth it.

11 Likes
12

Dan the Man! One of my main inspirations!
:facepunch::facepunch:

1 Like
13

Thank you for putting this up there. My favourite saying that I heard early on in my decision to quit booze was ‘ nothing changes if nothing changes’ …this resonates with me, thank you! And great job on your sober time, they are big numbers!!! :pray:t2::two_hearts:

2 Likes
14

This is great and something I need to hear after multiple resets. “I couldn’t quit because I WOULDN’T quit” is going to stick with me.

2 Likes
15

Very much appreciate you posting this.

1 Like
16

Thanks for sharing this. I think many people need to read this. I know I did about 2 years ago!!!

1 Like
17

Thanks man, it gives me inspiration

1 Like
18

Lovely inspiring read, thank you!
When you said ‘it wasn’t easy’ would you mind sharing a bit about that?

1 Like
19

Aww thanks!

When I say it wasn’t easy I mean on many levels.

The first was making the decision to quit, which included quitting my job. It wasn’t a decision I took lightly and lost some sleep on it.

Then, the struggle of second guessing myself. Should I, shouldn’t I, is it the right time, should I wait one more day? As determined as I was, I was still fickle; early on.

Then the next hard part was the physical part; withdrawals. The mood swings, irritability, the shakes, headaches, night sweats, day sweats, insomnia, insatiable hunger, the pity parties. Most lasted weeks, some lasted months.

After shaking off the withdrawals came the emotional part. It was like I was broken down in to pieces only to put myself back together again. I made a lot of discoveries about myself and faced a lot of my indiscretions from my past while learning to forgive myself. Its not easy coming to terms with being a piece of shit, but its the only way to grow; a neccessary process.

And then after all that, which took months.and months, I was left with learning how to function and experience life (not just live it) without a crutch. To feel joy without drowning it out. To experience pain without needing to numb it. To deal with anger and defeat in a healthy way. Learning to be a better communicator, a better partner, lover, and father. What I am doing now is growing, and growth is a never ending process.

And like I said, this growth, it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it!!

I owe it all to this community too!

17 Likes
21

Thank you. I’ve been sober 20 hours…i have drank since I was 13 and I’m 44. I know I’m about to ruin my life and career if I don’t stop. I’ve had some real close calls recently with the law and family and I know this is not who I am. I called myself a functioning alcoholic for years and believed it but lately I’m not functional at all. To a clearer time.

15 Likes