Glad you shared your part of life, i am hopeful you will stand out against the odds, best of luck friend 
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Thanks, i think its important to be resilient, i have been not successful in last two attempts but my determination keep getting strong after every failure
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Very useful info you have shared here and thanks
I will definitely look into AA
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I wish you the best of luck in your journey as well, friend. It’s a challenge, as I’m finding out, that you’ll learn a lot of new things as you go. Just gotta keep that focus.
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As a non-drinker, I intrinsically know that alcohol has zero value. It’s completely worthless. Why injest some poison that could eventually kill me and others around me. I don’t envy drinkers. I pity them. They need our pity. Because alcohol doesn’t fill a void. It creates one. It doesn’t cure anxiety. It creates it. It doesn’t remove stress. It dumps more stress on the drinker than ever before. And pleasure and fun? Nope. The only pleasure it offers is the pleasure of releasing the withdrawal pangs that were caused by alcohol to begin with. That’s not pleasure. That’s a lie; an illusion: a miserable existence. It’s a trap to suck me in. Alcohol is addictive. Anyone who starts to drink, will desire to drink more. That’s all.
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Oh man, I hear you!! The mental gymnastics I went through for years trying to figure out the magic key to drinking ‘responsibly.’ Seriously, I wasted a lifetime on that one. You are not alone in wishing for something that for us simply does not exist.
I want to share one of my very favorite threads on this topic. I hope you find it as inspiring and helpful as I have…
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Some of us just can’t anymore. The first sip demands another, another, another… and when you realize, your consciousness has gone and you’re falling apart. The other day? Panic, extreme heartbeat, trembling, that’ll go away just with another sip and so on. When I got to that point, I realized that I was actually sick.
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If you’re asking yourself that then you already know the answer. My issue was binging during hard times rather than facing them. When I truly asked myself if I had a problem the answer was yes. I used it as “medicine” and felt like I needed it to deal with issues, but all I was doing was ignoring the issues, making them worse, and hurting myself.
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Since I’ve accepted that I’m not “normal” as far as drinking is concerned it’s made quitting easier for me.
I’ve had to detach from any desire to be normal. My desire to be normal kept pulling me back to it and made it hard to let go.
I put myself through a lot to figure it out.
In a society where its glamorized and made attractive. I felt like I was missing out on all the fun.
I can’t keep it fun. I have tried countless times and failed.
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Deep in our hearts we all know this, if you think logically all of above things you mentioned are so true about alcohol its a common sense but again common sense is not so common these days 
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Everyone has explained things so well through these posts and I’m a little bit late chiming in but wanted you to know that there’s another one just like you… And that’s me.
Oh I’ve tried and tried to just" control" my drinking.
It doesn’t work. It never will. If I start to think too far ahead yeah it freaks me out thinking I can never enjoy a cocktail with my girlfriends or a rum and eggnog at Christmas, but I can’t. So I don’t worry about the future, I worry about today and then I’m okay.
If I have one it leads to so many more… and so much lying and hiding and sneaking. I don’t even know who that person is! I don’t want to be that person.
I don’t blame myself though. I’m am alchoholic. I believe it has to do with brain chemistry and genetics coupled with stressors in my life and a gradual build into becoming absolutely dependent on alcohol.
I like who I am better without alcohol. Finally admitting that I’m in alcoholic has set me free from blaming myself. In the moments that I think about craving a drink I remind myself that those good feelings brought on by alcohol last for only a fleeting moment before it turns into feeling of remorse and anxiety which lasts for days and years. Alternately, those hard feelings when I’m trying to beat a craving only lasts for a fleeting moment before it turns into a feeling of flying on top of the world because I’m in control of my life and alcohol doesn’t control me.
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From what I’ve learned. We all have 1 thing in common. A phenomenon of craving. Once we start. We cannot stop. That’s what separates us from regular people. Not only are our bodies abnormal. So are our minds. We cannot ingest any alcohol safely. Because of the allergy and phenomenon of craving.
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While going through your words it felt like i am speaking to myself, cause every single thing you pointed out is so true and so related to me, Next time i have a craving i do remind myself of this
Thanks for these words, i wish you a very happy and healthy life 
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You are describing the phenomenon of craving, not necessarily the craving to start drinking, but the craving that comes when we begin drinking. There is an excellent writing on it in the book ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’, excerpted here: https://aa-netherlands.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/en_bigbook_foreworddoctorsopinion.pdf
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Interesting Book , i need to get my hands on this one, Thanks for suggesting 
Thanks
None, alcohol is a big mistake which is glorified by our societies, social platform and movies,
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This sentence totally defines the way i have behaved most of the times after relapse, breaking this chain this time with help of all great friend’s i made here
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