Man so sorry to hear this ): well i dont know how the laws in the uk are but in the states she cant just force you to leave if you are married. Even if your not married if you have a key and recieve mail there you have to recieve a 30 day notice in writing.
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Hey @Timetochange, I think you’ll be surprised at how much support you’ll find in others right now if you’re open to it. Confusing moments like this can make you feel like decisions need to be made all at once, but it’s OK to breath and give yourself some space and some time. As you said, 21 years is nothing to scoff at. Best of strength to you. You’ll get through this.
Thank you for your work right now by the way. More people in health care need to know how valued they are right now for putting in the time and energy.
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Why should you leave?
Tell her to go live with the builder if that’s what she wants @Timetochange.
The same happened to me years ago - you WILL get through this, don’t hold it in, keep talking and keep thinking, remember she’s been thinking about this a lot.
Seek legal advice as quickly as possible.
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I’m so sorry she did this to you. If she wants someone else she should leave and move in with him. He’s a builder, let him build her a house. I wonder what he would do if he was responsible for her all of a sudden. She may not seem that attractive anymore if he has to house her. Just make sure you get to a lawyer first and file on her.
She really is doing a shitty thing at a shitty time. Just don’t let her push you into a huge argument. Don’t even talk to her. Just call that lawyer, fast!
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I agree with @GVLNative and @Charlesfreck here. You should not leave. You have worked hard for your family and your home. Stay. If she wants to leave, then allow her. Not sure if there’s anything salvageable in your relationship. I know there are marriages that recover from things like that. I dont know your guys’ situation.
I’ll pray for your peace and clarity with what happens.
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So sorry to hear this. Wish I had some words of wisdom but … seen all the support here. only thing I also can say is we are here for you. try to take the rest you can to stay healthy. cry, stay sober. love!
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I have slept a few hours and said i wont move out As i have done nothing wrong. I will contact a lawyer today. Im not going to drink as jt wont solve anything
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That sounds like an ok plan to me. I’m sorry you have to go trough this, breaking up is hard.
Take good care of yourself now and crying is a good thing. Allow your sadness and angry to come out. Don’t leave it growing on the inside.
Take care! 
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Keep focused. As you say, you’ve done nothing wrong. Get that legal advice asap as she’ll have SOMETHING planned out and you need to stay sharp.
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Im getting a coffee. Making sure my children are ok. They are both old enough to weather this. And then i will get a shower. Go to work and throw my soul into that… i feel lost but thats a starting point
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I dont think its salvageable. I think she has lined her ducks up in a row before saying anything
Ill be’ clear and kind but i wont be’ a mug
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In thirty minutes i go to work with all the sh@t storm thats covid. And then my home which has been my stability has gone. I have said i wont move out. But for my own sanity i will quietly look for a House and see a solicitor too . I wont do anyrhing which harms my children. But i Am thankful for my sobriety and health and employment.
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I my goodness that’s so harsh ,I understand there’s a bigger picture but please keep venting and sharing we will all help if we can to guide and give you a honest out look
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What part of UK are you from have y family and friends to fall bk on
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In the peak district. My parents are in Liverpool and in isolation . All our friends are mutual. I work and spend time with my family. Thats It really
Ok that’s a great place to live a group of us from this forum are coming up to your neck of the woods in may so it would be lovely for you to join us . stick around this could be your saving grace in your world of pain that your going thru ATM
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I would be’ keen to join. Thank u
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Go to magnafiying glass and write in peak District there’s a massive thread on details I haven’t worked out how to send you thread sorry
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I will have a look after work. Thank you.
Covid day 
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Don’t leave. Even in normal times, she can’t make you leave, and a divorce attorney would advise you to stay. Tell her that you aren’t the one who broke the marital contract, she did. She cannot expect you to uproot your life as a result of her infidelity. If she wants to consider you both separated, she will have to have a legal agreement drawn up, but you aren’t leaving.
Praying for you.
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