Yep. Ive said im not leaving. But i will quietly explore what my options are for my own sanity
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You are in my thoughts, friend. I got nothing as far as words of wisdom, but hopefully my thoughts of strength will reach you.
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Well done for staying sober over 2 years! What an amazing achievement! I’m really sorry to hear this sad news about your wife having an affair and I agree you shouldn’t leave the marital home. This situation you find yourself in is devastating and on top of your responsibilities at work, covid 19, your children, your sobriety etc … it could break you but…you seem very motivated and strong. Every day will be different and your emotions will change by the hour towards your wife and the situation. Please take strength in that people are thinking of you and praying you get through this awful time in your life x big hug xx
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I like your work the plan attitude. Do what you need to do to be safe and feel secure. Talking with a solicitor is an excellent plan and they should have some helpful guidelines for you. Making sure your children’s lives and home is safe and supportive for them thru this is important. I hope you are able to immerse in work for a bit to get your mind elsewhere. Slow and steady if you can. 
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Went to work .came home in the Pm
First difficult but clear conversation
- im not leaving my home
2).i will pay less into the joint account
3).the outcome has to be’ fair - or we go through divorce lawyers and court
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I Am just heart broken.
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I’m so sorry this is happening. I want to send a big hug.
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The onus is on her. Don’t move out whatever you do @Timetochange. And get as hard-nosed and expensive a solicitor specialising in divorce as you can.
No sense sugar-coating, it will be rocky but you’ve got to think of yourself and your kids.
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Hey man. Your post just hit me like a gut punch. Because I could have wrote it 3 years ago. My wife had an affair. Only difference is I was still drinking.
I have wrote about it some on here if you wanna look back so I don’t have to write everything that happened out here.
I’ll tell you this, don’t leave. This is her problem and she can live in it. Don’t make this easy on her but at the same time, don’t go out of your way to make it hard. If that makes sense.
I can tell you that while she has been having this affair she has been wearing rose colored blinders. Meaning she doesn’t have a life with this person. No bills. No kids. No problems. So now she can lay in that bed and go live a real life with builder. He’s prolly married too so we will see how that goes.
I gotta get back to work. But I’ll check back soon. I’ll tell you that my story had a happy ending. I loved my wife very much and I ended up recognizing the part we both played in why our marriage fell apart. It took a lot of pain and healing to get there tho. But it is possible.
But that’s my story. I just wanted tell you some of it. I am sorry this happened to you bro. The pain is so much. Please let me know if I can offer you anything.
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Feel for you son. It is such a shit thing to happen and there is nothing I can say to make it better.
All I would say is take the heartache like you take your sobriety, day-by-day and if it needs to be hour-by-hour, then so be it.
The important thing to remember (and it sounds cliched) is that this is not about you, so don’t let it hit your self esteem. It is either about her, or a combination of the both of you, but not just you.
Come back fighting, with your chin up and take the f***ing world on. We are the army standing behind you.
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Been there. You might not think so, but it’s better she told you now, instead of hiding it from you and you not finding out about it for a long time. Move yourself when it’s safe to, and move on with your life. There’s plenty of woman out there, you’ll find one. Chin up.
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I think she definitely wants to split up but hasnt thought It any further
Eg who can sell a House in the current climate ?
And why tell us at the start of being locked down…its bonkers… i Guess there is no way around this shit other than through It
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It’s almost like being in active addiction man. She’s not thinking completely rationally.
So I guess that’s up to you now. You think rationally. Don’t make any rash decisions (if that’s possible).
There’s is SOOOOOO much emotion and fear right now. So just try to keep your head and let the pieces fall where the may.
Fuck. Man. Just fuck
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Today was awful . I think awful will be’ the new normal for a while. Its all a bit rubbish but could be’ worse …could be’ zombies
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I am so sorry. There are no words I can line up tio lighten up your heart. I am here if you need to vent. Take good care. Eat well. Need to keep strong.
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Damn! Let me say i am impressed about hownyou are going about this.
I understand there is notnreally time to feel and grieve and stuff… But please be in contact with your sponsor (if you have one) and tell your manager at work. It feels important there are people in real life who can look you in the eye and be there for you. Dont do this alone.
And… Your a hero for doing service to the community! Even if its “just your job”
Thank you so much for that.
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Shit mate. She can leave though, it’s her that’s been having the affair… you sound very level headed as I would have buried him by now
Stay strong pal and keep checking in here 
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I’m so sorry. We’re all her for you. 
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What are the laws there? She is the one committing adultery? Tell her to leave
Sorry to hear man. Feels like a stab in the heart. We are all here for u. Ur not alone. Heartbreak is tough for me and ive dealt with divorce before. Hang in there buddy. Its going to be ok🙂
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