Ahhhh…certainly old enough to understand. But they often take sides. It’s great you found a place to call home. You deserve peace and the opportunity to enjoy your life. Sobriety is a big part of that! You managed a long stretch before…
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This time its permanent. There is no alternative for me really
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My ex after 13 years decide this drunk guy wasnt for her she had a boyfriend which i found out later but with my drinking i probably wouldnt live with me lol we lived in Bishop Stortford in Herts had a cottage there i was with a civil engineering company as office manager also had to small companies i ran from the house at weekends printing and landscaping building ponds ect i left went to stay with my sister in Bexley Heath Kent for a while and then back to Scotland and a week later i went to AA and havnt had drink since that was sept 1986 . got divorced never contested it the house was 400k and my companies had to dissolve ,never got a penny just wanted to stay sober she married the guy as soon as the divorce papers came through . im married again have two sons now had a Landscaping company for 35 years retired now we will be married this july 29 years and ill be 37 years sober on 15th Sept , travel the world now while im still active 71 now , life goes on .
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Thank you for sharing that.
I feel much better about life now, and more inspired generally with my present and future
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Just wanted to say happy anniversary Ray. 29 years of marriage is a great number. Congratulations 
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This happened with me too. My ex-husband was violent and abusive, and also cheated on me multiple times. For some reason, I was the bad guy. I was stunned and heartbroken. However, it does improve over time. Mine ended up in total parental alienation, and it still got better, it got great actually.
Initially, I was so sad and angry and then I was getting mad at my kids, like how could you guys do this to me after all I’ve been through. After some research, I realized, it had nothing to do with me at all. I started making everything about them, being patient, never speaking an unkind word about their father, and putting myself in their shoes. The hardest part was patience lol. I had to get a lawyer involved to even get my one daughter back. I have full custody in the divorce, but I have always been laid back and try to be as nice as possible, but the new wife hates me, so…Once I got her back, it was like trying to give a rabid cat a bath lol… I was firm, consistent, patient, and never raised my voice. When she was disrespectful, I would just say “I treat you with respect, and I expect the same in return”. I never expected that to work, but gotdam if it did!
Anyway, long way of saying they will come around. Just do the right thing and remember patience is the key. Sorry to se how it all unfolded, but it sounds like you’ll be happier in the long run 
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Day 306 of my being sober. I got remarried last September to a remarkable woman in Cornwall… Who has been kind and supportive throughout all the changes for me. Re-reading all this was a bit of an eye opener… I remember in 2020 when my ex wanted a divorce she wanted it amicably. The moment she changed her mind and I didn’t it became awful and that’s when I gave up and started drinking again as I felt really powerless. When I first left I was sofa surfing before coming to Cornwall.
I remember staying at the family home one last time in July 2020.i was sat on the floor and she was shouting at me to stay. Really quite bullying… And I remember feeling it was a now or never. If I stayed it wasn’t because i wanted to… And if I left all hell would be let loose.
And I left. And it was horrible. I had nightmares for months that someone would make me return.
I really didn’t think I would be able to just leave or get a divorce.
But the process of it all… So tiring.It’s not improved with my kids yet which is so hard. But…
Blessed to be sober. Blessed to have a good job. Blessed to have the love of a kind woman.
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So glad to hear you weathered that storm and are living a happy life with your new partner. Hopefully, in time your kids will come around. 
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Hey man I read the first and last and skimmed the others. First I want to say you have been through the eye of the tornado and you’re still here. Respect. I’ve had a wild life with a lot of wierd and crazy stuff myself drinking for 20 years which seems to go with the territory (we seem to attract wild people even when we are in a more calm phase). You want the relationship with the kids to improve… you want the current relationship to keep getting better. What I would say is give it to God. Once I started praying for Jesus to help me with these situations my whole life changed for the better. Doesn’t mean you won’t still have your battles but you aren’t alone in the fight. I was a drunk and a womanizer. I went from that life to repenting, accepting Jesus and reading the entire bible. My life is so good and i’m so grateful today because all I deserved… well I don’t want to think about it. God took a wretch like me, cleaned me up and saved me from myself. Jesus left the 99 sheep for me.
You know man for a while there I was sober but white knuckling it and still unhappy. One day I said God I ask you to remove any spirit of depression or sadness or procrastination over me in the name of Jesus Christ and I cancel any witchcraft attacks against me right now in the name of Jesus Christ. I was the most unpeaceful person you could ever meet constantly anxiety ridden, depressed and having self harm thoughts. I went from that to becoming someone who knew peace real peace not that I just got paid or laid or whatever rush I mean real lasting daily peace. I look at the world totally different today man. I pray for you and your family to be blessed and protected in Jesus name.
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I remember this. Glad to hear things are working out slowly. Keep on being patient with the kids.
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