Most of us are filled with trepidation before we first attend a meeting, I know I was the first time I went to one and I don’t really hardly ever suffer from anxiety.
I promise you that you will be glad that you went when you do go. Most of us have to really work at this to make it stick so go to a meeting and give yourself the best chance of success. I look forward to hearing how it went when you do get through those doors 
I had no choice it was either relapse then kill myself or get sober and have a wonderful life 
difficult choice 
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Two weeks in, I was probably crying. Not embarrassed by it. More like an overdue moment of emotional soul searching. I was beating myself up pretty bad cuz my brain chemistry was still recovering from all the suppressed feelings through the years.
4.5 months strong and my emotional rollercoaster is much easier to manage. Two weeks was tough but I’m proud of myself for not giving up
You’re doing great! Keep going 
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The first time… I really don’t remember, but I think it was kind of similar to my first two weeks now:
- with moments of joy and peace and anxiety and nervousness and cravings and emptiness and pride alternating throughout the day.
But even the worst day of sobriety is better than the “best” (?!) day of drinking.
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It will. Waaaaaay better.
Just hang in there.
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At two weeks I was posting this:
One week later I finally went to my first actual meeting and been going ever since. 
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Ooh, yikes. At two weeks, I was just over a week out of detoxing at the hospital. My hands were still shaking even though the worst of the detox was over on day 3. My doctor had just pulled me off all my meds temporarily to help my liver recover from the shape it was in, so I was also figuring out how to deal with my anxiety and BPD in light of this. I was in the process of letting go of unhealthy relationships. I was trying to figure out where I was going to live, and where the money was going to come from.
As awful as it was, I was so full of hope, though. Finally free from the hell of active addiction, finally able to get somewhere. I was building a better life that I’d given up on while drinking. So what kept me focused was knowing how close I was to going back to what things were before. It was a fire underneath me, I couldn’t sit still, I had to put all my energy into doing what I could to build success for my future. I started going to AA meetings after having written them off. (My first experience turned out not to be representative of meetings in general).
The original isn’t publicly visible at the moment, but from a day 13 post of mine, I quote:
So after new lab work, I’ve been instructed to quit all my psychiatric meds cold turkey to give my liver a break because I really put it through the shredder over the past few years. It’s pretty scary, given that it’ll stop helping and I’ll get discontinuation effects, but I trust my doctors in their trained medical and psychiatric opinions.
Over the last several days it’s gotten to a rough place I never thought I’d have been able to handle. But my work over the years on coping and thought retraining has kept me standing. So I had this thought: if all that is paying off for my mental health despite feeling futile at the time, I can have much hope that my sobriety-specific practices will pay off similarly.
Tonight I tell myself: Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it was (and is) probably being built every day. Ditto with sobriety.
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At two weeks I was feeling pretty well physically, I was massively relieved at being sober and free from the chains, sobriety was still quite a novelty. I was no longer obsessing over drinking, in fact I was the total opposite, I was obsessing over not drinking, it felt like my every waking moment was filled with thoughts of not drinking, how to stay sober and anxiety that I might relapse. I took a totally different ‘all in’ approach to getting sober this time and I knew that this time was different, that this time was ‘the’ time but I still seemed to think about (not) drinking constantly. I wondered if that was all life would be, rather than obsessing over drinking obsessing over not drinking?!
Thankfully that is not the case, it took a good few months but the thoughts have deminished over time, I no longer obsess over drinking or not drinking, I just live a pretty ‘normal’ life, I’m physically and mentally fitter than I’ve been in years and although my sobriety is still my number one priority it’s no longer a stifling obsession but more a part of who I am
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At two weeks I was praying to feel normal. Minutes felt like hours. I was depressed, with no energy, and everything as simple as taking a shower felt like a dreadful chore! No appetite, no interest in pretty much anything but finding hope in others story.
I spent my days forcing myself to do daily living tasks. While watching countless youtube videos, and reading numerous articles on my addiction and finding hope in recovery. I just kept telling myself- one day I will feel better. & i NEVER want to feel like this again.
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IOP. I was in detox for 4 days. Then started an IOP program. Full days at first then half days. I think at about 2 weeks I was down to half days because insurance forced it.
@Blithe_Oddity Are you my sober twin? 
15 days today for me again. Since beginning of June I made almost 50 days sober, best decision ever.
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I think you might be a few hours ahead, but close enough tome 
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Thank you. This gives me hope
We’re good at obsessing though, aren’t we? Nice to know it won’t always be the first and last thing on my mind evvery day
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That sounds like hell on earth. You’re so impressive for living through that
How was that first meeting?
Yikes!!! I found this app about, 3 hrs ago. At that point I was consuming 750ml of liquor a day, I just went through a harsh divorce, 2 of my siblings passed away in 2 yrs. Many other factors kept me depressed.
2 weeks in to my sobriety, I personally was walking around in haze of sorts, my sleep was still poor and was trying to give my life meaning without Alcohol. My brain chemistry was still out of wack, plenty of vitamins, supplements and decent food choices.
I developed a routine; gym, work and reading. I started to attend church regularly looking for peace and personal forgiveness. Every day I crawled a little closer to the light and knowledge that no answers were in the bottom of a bottle. I wish, I could say I never had a lapse or relapse, however; i did. I continued to persevere to the point alcohol was no longer a constant in my life.
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I apologize in advance because I don’t know what your DOC is. I can only reply based on my own experience which is with alcohol.
By 2 weeks I was feeling a million times better, physically. But the mental game was at it’s peak. I was having some random panic attacks that required me to stop whatever I was doing and just breathe…or walk away from the situation and take a stroll, even if it was just around the building. It wasn’t that what I was doing was stressing me out, either. I would just start getting anxious and my heart would beat really hard for no good reason…so I needed to actively work at slowing myself down.
I was also starting to sleep better but it wasn’t always the case. I was having bad dreams a fair bit. They weren’t using dreams (I haven’t had ANY this round of sobriety which I think is a good sign that I was finally ready to quit) just upsetting dreams so I would wake up and feel anxious just like in the day requiring me to take time to stop and breathe.
Alcohol was ALWAYS on my mind. All I ever did was watch others and wish I could drink too. Or I would come home from work and instinctively reach for a drink (my husband still drinks so it was easily available) so I had to remind myself “hey, you quit drinking you ninny?”.
Evenings were tough because that was when I did my most drinking so I took a LOT of hot baths and went to bed early most nights. I decided it wasn’t so much about doing stuff to occupy my time…it was just about getting through the hours…even if it was unconcious. LOL Eventually my body and my brain calmed down and I have been able to be social with the family and even be social with friends again.
I hope you are feeling better today. YOU CAN DO IT!!
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Congratulations on the 30 days
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Thank you brother.31 today
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