It’s the ideal isn’t it? The dream. ‘When I’m sober I’ll have all my shit together and I’ll be much more productive. I’ll be more present for my family. I’ll exercise everyday. Ill cook fresh meals and eat properly. I’ll be a better wife and mother’
Does it work that way?
I want to be a better person. It seems like I have this dream that just getting sober will fix everything. Is it that simple?
I beat myself up all the time because I want to be this perfect sober person so badly. And every time
I slip up i feel further and further away from it. Like I’m inherently broken.
Possibly! But there’s more to it than that. It doesn’t magically fix everything, but it allows you the opportunity to get moving towards who you wish to be.
What I do know, is that I don’t see how sobriety could make anyone a worse person. It really only presents opportunity. You lose nothing by taking a genuine crack at it.
Give it a shot. Nothing to lose, plenty to gain if you approach it positively and do the work. Good luck to you.
Sobriety doesn’t magically solve all of our problems…but it does help our self confidence and self esteem and our mental, physical and emotional health. Most especially, sobriety clears the way for us to recognize with a non polluted brain and act accordingly on what we can change to make our lives better. Sobriety is one piece of the puzzle that makes us up. It then allows us to focus on unraveling any chaos from our using lives and create a new healthier way of living and being in the world. Of course all of this involves our own honesty and hard work, but it is definitely worth it.
Like with any change comes lots of work and adjustments. There are some expectations that I had of soberity that I ddnt think were so far fetched yet other things sometimes deter those things. However stay positive they will come. Like @SoberGuyUSA mentioned once sober you can focus on other things that may be causing you problems. Be patient things will fall into place. This is a great place for support we are here for you.
If you go through you see alot my post, I think the same thing. Are my mind’s trick us into thinking were not better and we’re not gonna be better unless we drink. It’s a darn tooting lie, bc I am such a better person, do I still have hard days where I don’t want to do anything? Where I snap at my girls? Where I wake up late for work or don’t feel like cooking, hell yeah I do, but at least I can make the concious decision. And for the most part I am excerisein everyday, doing funner things with my girls. And I’m much more motivated, I’m saving money… I had no money in my addiction, I didn’t get out of bed when I was hungover, I didn’t want to do shit with my kids, I wanted to kill myself, life sucked and yet my lil silly mind sometimes says it has not gotten better. I’m here to tell you, you will be a much better person, don’t give up and be gentle with yourself
The first step really does begin with getting sober and staying that way. I’ve just done my first Saturday night sober in months. With my husband sat next to me downing pints since 4pm. Just got into bed. So incredibly happy I didn’t drink today.
Remember when u picture ur sober self, it is not a different person. If u are introverted u will still be introverted. If u tend to put things off, u will still put things off. Expecting to be an entirely different person may lead to disappointment. That said, u will become a better version of urself. And alcohol and I guess drugs too degrade u so much. Add into the mix these make mental illnesses worse, u can be quite dramatically better. So no and yes. Lol
Staying sober is the first step and then you will see things much clearer and you can work on one thing at a time. No one is perfect but staying sober will mean a lit to your family.
Getting rid of the alcohol starts to clear the cobwebs in your brain, and It makes it impossible to hide from your problems anymore. Whatever pain you have been avoiding can now be a priority. Alcoholism tends to delay psychological development.
In my experience, being sober is definitely conducive to being “better.” In many ways the simple act of drinking clouded my judgment in ways I didn’t recognize until I had some sobriety. So much became apparent once I had a few weeks clean.
The effort I needed to stay sober, that took more work toward actually getting better. That’s when the real magic started.
So guess I’d say, to me, being sober was a prereq for getting better. And getting better was a req for staying sober.
Sober is better, and is the first step of getting better at getting better each and every day. Better today than you were yesterday, and tomorrow better still.
For this Goat, sobriety does not equal stopping drinking. I can stop drinking and be the same self centered asshole I was before. If sobriety is the goal, it begins by physical sobriety and then extends into emotional sobriety, which for this Goat is a more difficult exercise.
