I don’t mean to be unkind here Travis but I will be direct:
Stop focusing on what you think your wife should or shouldn’t be doing.
That doesn’t help you and it doesn’t help her. Ultimately none of us can be in charge of another person’s life. The only life we are responsible for and the only one we can control, is our own - so dwelling on what we think other people should or shouldn’t be doing, is a waste of energy we could be using to work on ourselves (which is where change happens, and which is the only way we can influence our world, including the people in it).
You have one job: your health and your functioning life (which means, your sobriety - because that’s what sobriety is: health, and functioning life). Anything else - including focusing on what you think other people should or shouldn’t be doing - is a distraction that will hold you back.
Take care and don’t give up. Take it one day at a time and keep focusing on taking your next right step.
Edit to add: if you need people to listen with and talk to, join a recovery group Resources for our recovery or Online meeting resources. There’s so many good ones and they’re filled with people who have been exactly where you are 