I subscribe, I forgot that easter holidays start today and all pupils and parents rush out of town or to the malls 
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Yowza! Today might be a good day for a nature walk or a day snuggled inside then. Good luck! 
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Damn…. That’s accurate lol
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Thoroughly my mood yesterday and today. Ready to bury someone in my garden beds if they look at me wrong.
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I feel you on this. All of April, I was on an emotional roller coaster when I felt myself being unstable around my husband and Friends. I felt like I shouldn’t be around people because I was a ticking time bomb with my emotions. As of last week oh, it feels like my hormones finally balance but my period was super heavy and that hasn’t regulated yet, but I’ve been sober for 48 days now I think my body is getting finally used to things 
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Let a sister know if you need help 
I hear it helps plants grow 
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I’m really glad I’m not alone here. Today has been a serious struggle. Emotions are all over the place from super irritable to super sad but I’m wondering if I need to talk to someone because I’m also having these brief thoughts of just wanting to lie down under a tree in the sun listening to the birds and close my eyes and not wake up. When I say it out loud or write it down I know it sounds stupid but I’m feeling a sense of hopelessness and I fear that true happiness is out of reach. I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to and I feel like even though I’m glad to be sober I’m feeling super depressed. I was thinking about a drink earlier but not even in my mind now. I just want to hide under the covers. I felt like this last month too for a bit and it did pass so I’m sure it will pass but I just don’t know if these thoughts of not wanting really wanting to be alive are normal. It’s just random brief thoughts of like walking onto the highway in front of traffic but I wouldn’t really do it. I feel like I’m going kind of crazy does anybody else feel like this but know that they wouldn’t really do anything but question if they should talk to someone.
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I am sorry you feel this way. Do you follow your circle and mood swings. I could spot some patterns which I have to remind myself of when I am in my suicidal hole. It seems to be there out of nowhere. The thing for me is that now that I am sober my mood can change for the better and it usually does. During the dark times it’s the time to dig into self-care, self-compassion. A bath, some dark chocolate, a coffee with a friend. Calling a friend.
Hang in there. We are not alone and we can understand.
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I haven’t paid as much attention to my cycle in the past, but I am noticing a pattern. So suicidal thoughts are somewhat normal with these hormonal changes? I guess that’s my main question and I think you answered it. Thanks for responding. I’m also super anxious. Yuck. I’m just trying to breathe. I know it will pass. I just hate this feeling…
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I don’t think it’s normal. But I noticed these thoughts and especially I slip into them more easily when I am some days before menstruation.
Big hugs to you 
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Hi @Miranda! You aren’t alone in this. My hormones used to run my life and my moods especially when I was drinking. I have the hopeless thoughts (I call them the lay-facedown-on-the-floor days when I tell my bestie about them, the description is apt). I have had the jerk the wheel while driving thoughts or jump off something tall thoughts. Mine were also fleeting but very frightening.
Hormones really run the body. It REALLY helped me to track my cycle on an app (I use Flo, there is a free version, don’t make them boss you into paying). When I had days where I could not get out of bed or could not manage to look people in the eyes it was really helpful to go to my tracking app and try to figure out why. There are graphics out there with the hormones that are being released on certain days and I tried to find patterns.
This might be TMI or too intrusive but when we are talking mental health I take the gloves off. I also stopped taking hormonal birth control in any way. I know that I am hormonally challenged anyway and adding in randos really really REALLY messed with my mind.
Quitting drinking has drastically helped my roller coaster emotions. I am no longer so up or so very down. I have felt exactly as you have and I am here any time you need me. Keep going, know you aren’t alone, step off the hormonal roller coaster if you can and stay sober. I’m here to help. Sending hugs.
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Sorry you feel bad. Send you hugs 
Being depressed definitely is a cycle thingy, hormones are powerful 
I relate to the “I want to burry myself under the blanket and never ever get up again please let me die in my hopeless cave=bedroom” feeling. Was mostly together wither other nasty PMS symptoms. It possibly moderates the longer you are sober. Alcohol had such a huge impact in intensify this feelings for me. Sober they became bearable.
Be kind to yourself and treat yourself like a queen: cake? sure! pizza? of course! hot chocolate, tea, fruit juice in the bubble bath with a good book?go for it! funny videos about revenge on parking violence idiots on youtube? I highly recommend 
Once you identify patterns it becomes easier to handle the rollercoaster. We are here for you.
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Who am I to turn down a recommendation. Excuse me while I hop to YouTube
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No it’s definitely not too much information and I really appreciate your response. I just recently downloaded an app called clue to track my cycle but it doesn’t have that many options for mood. I tried to find the one you were talking about but couldn’t find the free version. I’m sure things will stabilize more without alcohol but to be honest with you I think I’m just noticing the effects of my cycle more because I am sober and for the rest of the time I am more stable so when I’m not it seems even worse if that makes any sense. Thanks for the support
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I understand. My first cycle was a doozy that I kept expecting to throw me off my sobriety track. It didn’t. Trust yourself and if you can’t, trust us.
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I bet I have been telling everyone that Flo is a free app when I probably paid for it and just don’t remember because I was drinking. 
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Oh that makes me laugh🤣
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I can absolutely attest to this…. when Aunt Flo is moving in every month my cravings GO THROUGH THE ROOF!! I’m hoping Naltrexone will help with this but I can’t handle all 50 mg 
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Yep. Hormonal cravings aren’t so much me thinking “hmmm a beer or a glass of something sounds good”. When I get hormonal cravings they are almost automatic and my hand will be reaching for a bottle in the store before my brain can catch up to remind my arm that I don’t drink. Extra vigilance for me during that week. 
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