Beautiful post about your current self, @M-be-free49 . Save it. One of these days you’ll enjoy looking back at it.
Especially love what you’ve written about your sweet Mom and her friends…
I’m a proponent of the natural aging process.
I’m also a proponent of HRT if the woman and her Dr are for it.
I’m also a proponent of complete hysterectomy when indicated and needed.
( It eliminates the risk of three or more cancers that are common.)
Hugs to all my women friends.
Right there with her. I taught a period club to my daughter and her friends as well!! 
Welcome friend!! Perimenopause is a time of great upheaval and change and becoming. It actually ends tho! And wow, you reach the other side of hormones. It is so amazing after our entire lives ruled by them, to enter the space that is uniquely our self. I am excited for you!!! We shed our old self literally. Tho yes, we have to pass thru the portal to become. A journey of a lifetime leading to you.
May I also suggest Susun Weed’s old tome, The Menopausal Years: The Wise Woman Way. Your Mum may have had a copy. 
It can be found used at a low cost.
Such a powerful time in a woman’s life!!!
A period club! Wow, I can only imagine how differently I might’ve related to my body had I had a club. That’s amazing. Ah well, we have something of a club here, on this thread, albeit a decade or several post-menarche! 
Thanks as well for the book references. I will definitely check them out. “The Menopausal Years” does sound like something Mom would’ve had.
As for the whole “upper lip” situation? Not only do I need the magnified mirror, but those tweezers… and probably bifocals. 
Thanks so much again. 
Thanks Alisa. Yes, there’s lots of options ahead, and no need to rush into any right now. I’m glad I have a doctor who I know won’t minimize any of this for me, and has been open to exploring all kinds of options for my other adventures in health. It helps that I know his wife. 
So I’ve just been reading up on PMDD. I’m not sure if I have that or just standard mental health stuff but my antidepressants do not have me anywhere near the happy zen cloud I started on. I feel so very overwhelmed by any decision and all decisions feel like big decisions. But there is a big decision. The parent question. I’m 35 this year and my partner wants a family. I don’t know that I could handle being a mother. I seem to struggle so much already. The thought of that 24/7 responsibility. Even with support from him and my Mum, which I think would be good. I am totally torn and I don’t know how to get to a point where I am not. Maybe it is not such a big decision, maybe it would just be another of life’s changes to navigate. I have no real concept of what I want. I want everything and nothing. I want to change my job but I don’t know what to. I want to be healthier and do more social stuff and make the house nice but can’t find the energy/ motivation to do what I need. I want to meditate and work on my mental health but find myself slipping into nothingness and avoidance. I want to appreciate the truly wonderful things in my life but can’t help but feel a gnawing desire to escape or self destruct. Working it out feels so urgent and important but also I know it is not something I can just work out (I would have done so by now).
Things I am doing:
I feel like hormones have something to do with it all which is why I am unloading all this here.
At times like these when things feel they could go in so many different directions, I try to ask for a sign. Not sure who I’m asking to be honest! Is it the universe or collective consciousness or unconscious experience. No idea really, but it’s the act of saying, “I’m open to see the signs”, and something usually emerges.
Yes i think that is the only way. Funnily enough i was chatting to my mum yesterday, she has been clearing her mum’s house and found a load of boxes of my baby clothes
Wow, this is a tough question. I have no kids and no partner. I can still have an opinion as a woman.
When I was younger (now 41) I think I asked the question: do I want kids. Separated by the fact: what would be if I am pregnant unplanned. I think we would grow in responsibility and stuff.
As a woman I think it can be tricky to be somewhat pushed into this decision (besides being pregnant accidentally) because in the end if a relationship ends or so, it’s our main responsibility still (at least that’s my impression). I asked myself what would happen if I’d be pregnant, let alone as a single mom. I had answered this question that I would keep it as my economic situation is okay and I’d have my family to support me. This was many years ago. Now, thankfully time solved some questions and I am firm with not wanting kids and not having to take actions to have them if I would like to have them.
Sorry for the long writing. 
That’s a lot!! Glad you shared here. Hormones…strong stuff!!!
Now finished my period and OMG I feel so different. Nothing has changed. Some of the anxieties are still there. But I feel much less overcome with it all. Hormones are so wild.
I’ve also just heard back about a possible job interview. Nothing in stone of course, don’t know they would offer me anything. Had a review call with my boss this morning who is SO BLOODY NICE I don’t know what I would do if it came off. Not sure if factoring a possible family in makes that easier or harder. Probably both 
Also today I have taken my first lower dose of Venlafaxine. I was only on 150mg (the second dose) so I’m not expecting it to be too rough. I actually was doing really well mood wise on the initial 75mg dose, it was increased as I was so tired, which turned out to be significant iron deficiency. Had a lovely chat with the pharmacist yesterday who was so kind and helpful. I was thinking about trying to come off them as soon as possible but think I will stick with it for a couple of months at least and see how it pans out.
I realise after writing that I also need to prepare myself for the possibility that reducing my venlafaxine/ effexor dose might actually be a difficult adjustment. And keep that in mind if things are hard over the next few weeks.
Day 9 here.
And day 27 of my cycle, lol. My period usually starts day 26-32 pretty consistently, so it’s any time now lol. Just trying to stay busy and keep these damn emotions in-check.
How are you doing?
That’s funny 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Anyone else notice worse cramps after getting sober? Just had my first period since Quitting drinking and my cramps were the worst I’ve had in 20 years. Also I saw some folks asking about apps in this thread, I use Flo and it’s pretty good!
I didn’t notice worse cramps but I didn’t get a period for ages, and at first I thought it was to do with being sober before eventually cottoning on to the idea that I was perimenopausal. So now I have no idea what’s happening and when 
I found it super helpful using a period tracker once I arrived in perimenopause. I still never knew when I would menstruate, but over time I could see the trend of lengthening time between menses (and keep track of heavy vs light flow vs damn I need a D&C flow). The tracker was particularly helpful in the later years. I was a bit wistful when I finally deleted it post menopause.
Women often self-medicate hormon- and period-related body issues by alcohol. There are some helpful articles around you can search by keywords.
It might be that the cramps are stronger, it might also be you feel them clearer (and therefore more intense) compared when you were blurred from using/drinking.
Taking notes and comparing how it evolves over time is a good idea, it makes you see what (or if) changes.
Come here, vent away, you are not alone
I had just been putting a note into the journal on this app but have now opened the cycle app on my phone. Thanks for the nudge!
