I’m feeling better today. A lot less angry at the world. Now to be productive 
Thank you guys for making me feel a bit less crazy yesterday and helping me be ok with not doing shit
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Ugh, reading the latest posts here make me wonder what I’ve signed up for… 
I got engaged recently (ty, ty) and will be in the process of moving in with my Man in a few months. He knows how to do chores and does them without asking, too (at least for now). I’ve seen how his parents divide their chores and it’s … very traditional. He understands it. I’ve said from day 1 that he will be doing chores in our household too. I hope we’ll find a good balance.
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On a different note. It’s been almost six months since I got a new IUD. It took months before my body settled. Light bleeding, cramping and 
for many days in a row. Like having periods non stop for 2 months or something lol. It all subsided gradually but I still have mild/short PMS symptoms usually when I start or ovulate. Mood swings are less too.
Was it worth the suffering? Hell yes. I had been upping my pain med dosage and couldn’t go far from a toilet bc of cramps and , even with diarrhea meds. I wish I had got an IUD years ago.
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I think as long as y’all have clear communication on the subject you will have an easier time. In my personal relationship there was never even a discussion about divided chores. He just doesn’t do them. I picked up a cup today that I have watched sit there for almost 2 weeks because I just wanted to see how long it would take before he would pick it up. When I was drinking all the time our house was so dirty because neither of us cleaned. I wish I had set expectations earlier on but after over a decade I don’t see anything changing.
That’s good news about you IUD. I’m glad it’s working for you 
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That sounds relieving. And congrats 
on your engagement. Might sound silly but I’m always happy when people share happyness
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Bumping this thread because 
Fucking bullshit of bleeding 
When this menopausal blabla is not over until I’m 50, I swear I call my gyn surgeon and tell him to make a final clearing. I’m pissed like a hungry rat on diet 
For the rest of the vent I refer to the last one 
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Now I have a question. Does not bleeding, I mean surgery-like, remove the mood problems. Real question as I always forget about the complicated hormonal axes brain, several floors there, downstairs other hormones. 
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The hormons which cause the female cycle are produced mainly in the ovaries. They can be put to silence with hormon meds like the pill or injection, but you have to take it without interruption to have quiet. Has pros and cons, but works.
Problem: these meds are not for all females and my body once decided it is incompatible with hormonal treatment
I had my uterus grilled from inside to destroy most of the endometrium a few years ago which led to way less bleeding (had to do it, lost too much blood to be replaced naturally in time, ferritin parameters were out of range). This did not effect the cycle per se but gave me a much better quality of life.
Now the problem is the irregular coming and going as the hormon levels decrease. I’m so pissed off this unpredictable up and down I’ve been “enjoying” for years that I think about cutting out my ovaries by surgery for final quiet. The uterus may stay inside, it’s hormon production is minor and you are at risk of becoming incontinent allthough a replacement plastic is inserted when the uterus is removed.
The mood swings decrease with cutting out or silencing the hormon production. They do not disappear completely.
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Thank you 
I struggle a lot with irregularities as well l, all my cycle life and it sucks as my sugars are unpredictable as a consequence. Some years down the road still for me
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Omg, I remember that stage!! I swore as well I was going to get ‘cleaned out’ to stop the gushers and finish the process. I had friends who did. I did not and rode it thru to the end. The gushers DID subside after awhile as my bleeding times became less and less frequent. The last 3 years before actual menopause (12 consecutive months with no blood), I would go 10 months and then a spotty bit. Ugh. But finally it did end…I was in my late 50s BTW and in peri for a good 10 years. It gets better.
Now, several years post menopause, I sure miss that estrogen …but I 
do not miss peri. What a ride.
As for moods…again, now post menopause and post some hormones, all the mood stuff is gone, a distant memory. 
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I love you @SassyRocks 
I will stick to this outlook and try not to bite anyone whilst the hormons still torture me
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Seriously, I get it 100%. That roller coaster near the end time is really challenging. I feared for my marriage and my own brain…of course I was still drinking then…so.
I am glad you have a space to share the reality of the hormones that rule us (until they do not). What a complicated system our bodies are!!! Hope you have some relief today.
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I feel your pain. I’m 48 and was having debilitating cramps every month. I had a hysterectomy a year ago but kept my ovaries. With the ovaries I still get some of the moodiness, but zero bleeding or cramps. So definitely a win! My older sisters started menopause early 50s, so I’m sure that’s not far off for me. It’s hard to keep track of my cycle with an actual period, but I assume when I’m extra emotional it’s probably that time.
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I’m grateful I feel like a human being again. The cravings, the moodyness, the cramps, the comfort eating, the farting … it is exhausting. Therefore I decided to stay in bed today and pamper myself with books, different sodas and doing absolutely nothing
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Something hit me like a truck. Sugar was fine until the morning then started to rise without reaction to insulin. And now really unmotivated to move at all. Everything takes time and long inner discussion to do. Day 27. I hope this won’t last 8.days or so. But honestly I am happy to have my eyes wide open, acknowledging what’s going on. And by this not letting myself being dragged down even more. So that’s a good thing I guess.
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And pit a jigsaw puzzle for sale for 5 Euro and someone contacted me if this is the final price. Nooooo, hell, I’ll give it to you free and will send it to you on my charges 
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Informative and thorough article on perimenopause, menopause and post menopause and HRT. Well worth the read…
Women Have Been Misled About Menopause
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What I really hate about this cycle thing and all the mood swings that come with it: I always fall for them. I always believe it’s true. Day 4 of my cycle and I feel like a new human being. Much better physically. Much more energy.
I need to memorize this: around day 26 insulin resistance starts and sugar gets chaotic. When I react quickly enough it’ll level down within a week or so. Then around day 33 or so the water retention starts. Then around day 37 or so the ‘magic’ is over and we can go for a new round. 
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I feel you. I remember how after decades it still took awhile to be like…oh yes…this is the phase when my emotions are heightened or I eat all the food. How, when it literally happens every month, it takes time to be like oh yeah…this again. Of course with your added insulin resistance, the added issues and more to remember. Human bodies are amazing!!
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I’m sorry – this is a long one. I’ve never posted on this thread. Spoiler alert: I’m okay. I just need to get this out.
The doc scans my bloodwork results and says “Looks like you’ve started menopause.”
Now, I like my doctor. I like that he paused before looking at me or saying anything else, and he reacted kindly to what could only be my unwelcome, sarcastic expression.
I had suspected. Even though I don’t get a period (for other reasons), I do have a cycle. But even when I did get a period, I will say that I had it pretty good.
The last while though has felt like puberty for normally even-keeled me. No, more like where puberty and decades of life’s scar tissue intersect.
- It’s the emotional reactions not proportional to the situations. Tears. Kinda rage-y. Sad. Sappy sad. Normally I catch that it’s not aligned with the moment, and sometimes it even makes me giggle (while crying, planning a protest, etc…)
- A new one for me – brain fog that, at times, has me second-guessing myself, particularly in my work, where I usually felt quite confident and capable (except when I was hungover).
- So far, only mild changes in sleeping patterns. But I’ve always been a morning person, and now I tend to need more zzz’s if I’m restless at night. Sometimes I wake early but just like to lie there and think – not good or bad. Just quiet. Who is this? I used to bolt out of bed and send work email before others were awake. I don’t miss that now. Now I’m one of the ones muttering “go away” to new clients who text before 8. Maybe this is me now.
- Hot flashes? I get sweat baths. Not hugely bad, but still. Bathed in it. At an in-person meeting last week. I don’t think anyone noticed, but some of the other women were powdered and perfect. I felt like I’d emerged from a 30-day trek through the humid jungle.
- The biggie right now is feeling like I don’t quite know whose body this is. I know this because I felt like this at 13. And now again at 52.
Then the ridiculous, like the whole incident tonight – caught on zoom no less – stabbing my finger with a whisker on my chin…
I’m grateful for the women who’ve come before me and shown me how I want to do this:
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An older friend I used to work with read something about how when our bodies – engineered to give birth, give life, shed blood – cease the ability to do so, it’s not that we have less to give, but it’s an invitation to not give so much. To give to ourselves first! Not out of scarcity, but because being our best selves is our best gift to others. It should always be this way, really. I hope I can make menopause intentionally about this, for me.
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Or my favourite spin instructor, who climbed on her bike and said “it must be the menopause” and giggling while adjusting her mic, added “I want to kill people.” I hope always find the absurd in this, something to laugh about.
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Or the beautiful women I met midlife, with their wrinkles and smile lines. That I knew them no other way and never questioned their beauty. I noticed a crease between my chin and cheek this year, in the mirror, and initially thought I had pinched a nerve or something. Nope! Just – gravity bits. On both sides now. Jowl-y parts. Others will meet me in the future and know me no other way. I hope I can see myself as I have seen others – not for their wrinkles but for their beauty.
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Or the big one. My mom. (Yes, I’m teary.) She and her friends, mostly all counsellors, read Women Who Run With The Wolves. They made vision boards. Hell, I think they made tea and poultices and sang and probably howled at the moon. I was studying the hard sciences and wanted none of it. Now? I want their recipes. I hope I come through this like she did. Somehow lighter. With more colour in her wardrobe, in her cheeks. She would blow bubbles outside. Even by herself.
I’m grateful I’m alive for menopause. I’m grateful to be sober for it. 
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