I get that, the wanting to escape yourself. I am still searching for a healthy way to aid in that. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I was yesterday, and although I hate reaching out for help I talked to a friend on the phone. I just wanted to type, but she said let’s call, and in my mind I was NoNoNo, but after we did I could actually breathe normal again. I did then get the migraine attack 
but hey, that was already coming. And it also felt like getting something out, letting shit go, some kind of purge.
I also kept saying to myself, although I didn’t believe it: no feeling is final. Monday is Monday. Who knows how you will feel then. There is a whole weekend still coming, and we will get there when we get there.
Thinking of you! 
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Thank you Joyce. appreciate you saying this, it helps a lot 
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Wow, what a difference a night can make. I had a good sleep last night. 1st day of the new cycle; absolutely mind boggling how much better I feel today. I have energy, and I didn’t have any of those dark, depressing thoughts that have been clouding my mind for days. I feel able. I am ok. Gotta remember this, to just ride it out. It’s weird tho, cause some months aren’t like this, but the ones that are - man do they suck. It’s like being consumed by something and being nothing more than a hollow version of yourself, anxious and struggling and low. That’s how I feel anyway. Thank goodness it’s not every month. And thank goodness it only last a few days to a week or so.
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I can totally understand. I remember some points in my life when I realised things. It was like: how could I not see the relationship? First was when I went to therapy in 2017 and stopped drinking (well, had to) and after 2 weeks or so my depression was gone and I felt guilty for even being there. Then some years later when the suicidal thoughts and the depression came back and I couldn’t understand why and how and why it came so suddenly. It is related to my cycle. Still, I struggle when they come all of a sudden. But knowing give me the trust that it will be over in some days and that it’s not me who is just not putting in the work or so.
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Thanks @anon74766472 
it helps me too, to know that it is not ‘me’ - I used to think the anxiety and depression I suffered was because I was (or wasn’t) doing something…. I thought it was something under my control and that I just couldn’t get control of it… but I’m slowly learning that this is not the case. I didn’t do anything to cause myself to be with depression and anxiety - it is not karma because I’m some horrid person, it is a chemical imbalance in my brain, and it is in my genes, things that I cannot control, and I never learnt strategies early on in how to manage them. drinking alcohol made it 100,000,000 times worse. Now, as I move through life sober, I’m learning a lot, especially about my struggles with mental health and the hormonal issues I face. Despite the work we put in, hormones are still hormones, and they’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. I know I can keep trying my best to be a healthy, balanced human and this will help, but other than that, it’s outside of my control.
Funny tho! This sense of reason and understanding I have today. I definitely was not able to think like this two days ago - but grateful to be able to reflect and learn and understand. Until the next time round, lol.
It does happen so suddenly though. It’s like one minute you’re living your life, normal day-to-day getting by, handling it all, then before you know it, everything is awful. And you can’t shake it, the feeling, the reality. The only thing we can do it wait. And trust, like you say, that it will pass - even if it doesn’t feel like it will, it will. 
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Day 20 after ovulation and I finally feel like myself again. More than half of a month I felt like a wreck.
Mood is almost back to normal, I’m only a tiny bit p*ssed because public transportation is on strike again and I had to endure a lot of humans on my way home…
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I checked my period tracker to see where my vacation (March 29- April 2nd) fell in my cycle. 
I told my husband and he said “didn’t you just have your period?” and then I got to explain pre-/perimenopause.
Hang in there.
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Why on fucking earth is almost every bra (this is a swimming suit) equipped with this? To increase your boobs. Go figure not every woman wants this. Probably it’s all designed by men which would also explain why it’s difficult to find fitting clothes because you are not a teenager with enormous boobs anymore and never have been. 
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I’ve been asking myself the same question for years. These things take so much longer to dry 
I don’t like them either. To be honest, I only wear a bra in public because I don’t like my breasts to move with every step. At home I’m a happily braless women.
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I always take these things out. I sometimes wondered if they were there to disguise your nipples a bit rather than just to increase size. I always wear a sports bra ever since having kids as my boobs went from A cups to DD cups and I liked the way they were before!
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I might have a tiny problem with them either way. Got them reduced 1.5 years ago and still struggling with acceptance. At least I could take them out.
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They always shift in the wash too! If I can I take them out. But sports bras need them, right,?
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That’s true
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It could be hormones for sure but I have learned that nutrient deficiencies also cause havoc. For me I have b12, iron and vit d that are causing issues. On top of whatever madness is happening with my hormones!
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Well somehow I have managed to time quitting nicotine with the start of my PMS. Trying to convince myself this is in fact a good thing, cos when I get through this week I know I can do it. Not entirely convinced but gonna just keep telling myself anyway!
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Bull’s Eye!
Sending you good vibes 
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A quote from somewhere.
“We’re not bitchier. Having a period makes us tired and achy, so we have less tolerance for all the BS we normally SUFFER IN SILENCE.”
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Just saw this woman on Instagram. I love her. #claire_training
'why is it called menstruation and not womenstruation? -'cause it causes pain
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Really not fair why it’s not called
“Womenstruation”
Didn’t look at the Instagram link. Will later.
Editing to add I can appreciate the humor of the “men” and “pain”.
Here’s what wiki says about the word just fyi for anyone wondering.
“ Etymology and terminology
The word menstruation is etymologically related to moon. The terms menstruation and menses are derived from the Latinmensis ‘month’, which in turn relates to the ancient Greek mene’moon’ and to the roots of the English words month and moon.[83]”
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I am not an intensely spiritual person but the fact that the moon controls the tides and we have a monthly cycle just like the moon blows my mind. I am very interested in the moon/menstruation connection.
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