Mines gradually get worse so I decided to stop drinking… one time fell asleep in a sink in a busy movie theater… to last week arguing with my wife saying the most stupidest things that I regret
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Man… I have to think about this one a lot ot shit… A lot involving vomit and some realy bad situations driving where something really bad could have happened. Bad situations with guys. Breaking things hitting people.
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Blackouts are the reason I am stopping drinking alcohol for good. My most dreadful one I woke up in the hospital without remember anything.
Had a few more where I completely embarrassed myself with ex girlfriends and even family and friends and just find out by checking my phone 
. Damn, blackouts are dehumanising.
I hope I never have another one in my life.
2 days without drinks of forever done
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Went to a family party had a great evening until the end of the night… I turned on my stepmum in front of everyone, told her I hated her, she would be nothing without my dad, ugly, evil… I don’t remember a single thing, don’t remember getting home.
All I know is she’s been more of a mum than my own mum, and those poisonous words were deep rooted probably from what my mum had drilled into me.
Nobody spoke to me for about a week, my dad was absolutely gutted. They’ve been together 30 yrs she didn’t deserve any of it.
I went and apologised, but I know itl never be forgotten. Last family party I didn’t drink and left early because I was scared of myself and what I might say. I’m still ashamed of myself now.
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Oh wow! I have plenty.
Top of the list was probably when I stabbed my own damn self in the leg. Causing lots of medical bills and I still have pain and numbness. 
I was an idiot. And when i started hurting myself I decided to call it quits.
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I think my most odd one is I went to a Live concert on my birthday, yes the band Live. They are a great show, highly recommend
However my kids mom went with me, said I could drink it up because it was my birthday, I made a pig of myself well at last call I bought a few to get over for the night,
She turns to me and says umm I can’t drive, well F**K me, I managed to make it the hour drive home and buy more beer along the way,
I woke up naked in my living room, bottles everywhere, my kids mom up in bed, my kid was with his grandmother, till this day I haven’t the slightest clue how I got home, till this day
I think i made my guardian angel an alcoholic over the years
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I forgot and I’m glad I did.
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One time…
I drank multiple nips of hard alcohol and blacked out
My friends told me the next day I was spitting alcohol on this guy that people don’t mess with
He was waking me in the head and then held my head under a foset untill we both fell in the tub
I was fortunate my good friend was there to stop the whole thing
I do not miss that
Hard alcohol is DANGORUS
I blacked out then continued to drink that day. Good way to get alcohol poisoning.
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When I first started drinking around 18 with my aunt black outs and stupid stuff happened. She made it seem like it was normal and funny and would say if you didnt remember you know you had fun. Over the years I knew a lot of people who thought that way an nomatter what dumb stuff happened it was always funny the next day talking about it with each other all hung over trying to put it together. Wasnt until years later it started to freak me out and bother me.
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Man this last time I was totally embarrassed… after saying so many stupid things to my wife, it got physical and I left my family in law group chat…
Last night she’s telling me all all that I’ve said I was so embarrassed and wanted to apologize to her family but the deed is done and I barley get sleep now cause of the self embarrassment and the anxiety from what I’ve done…
I hate this feeling… by the way all of this is happening why her mother is fighting for her life in the ICU…
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Maybe apologizing to her fam might help you feel better. I apologized to an exs friends before after something very embarrassing. They were nice about it😕.
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I had 3 toward the end. First on Christmas Eve … at the dinner table with my teenage daughter, mother and father (who has been in AA and sober for 45 years and warned me not to drink when I was 15). I didn’t know I had blacked out until Christmas Day night (no one said a word) … when my daughter pulled me aside and said, Mom … do you remember what happened last night.
Sadly that was not enough (but it’s when I found Sober Time). I did the moderation thing and found myself 3 weeks later with a broken nose. (No clue how it happened).
Sadly. That was not enough.
This last time (2 weeks after nose healed and again using “moderation) … what started as a 1/2 glass at brunch turned into a day I regret more than I can ever say. Not that I remember any of it. Just my daughters face when I finally came to.
That was it for me.
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Theres been a lot. One that comes to mind is I went absolutely off the handle at my grandmother’s funeral. After the ceremony we headed to a local social club for a few drinks and some food. I got gradually drunker and drunker but was in a good mood. Then just as we were leaving I went to grab my coat and saw someone had moved it as I’d left it unattended on a nearby stool and they were trying to get their own little corner together. I saw this bunch of people simply minding there own business but cos they’d “dared to touch my stuff” I just tore shit up. Just went from 0-60 in a split second. Swearing, trying to punch people, knocking over drinks kicking over tables, a one man riot occuring as my mum and brother and uncles all trying to get me out the door as fast as possible. I was swearing my head off in the taxi all the way home and the next thing I know it’s morning, I’m still pissed and every one is furious with me. I’ve never done anything like that in my life and never have since. I’m honestly not a violent person. It was literally an alcohol fuelled rage at a bunch of completely normal people.
I went back a few days later and apologised . The folks I was kicking off at were not present so I couldn’t get a message to them. just the landlord. Needless to say, he said if you ever show your fucking face around they’ll call the old bill.
In a sick way it’s kind of funny. No one got hurt or hospitalised just a mess and a few tables and stools knocked over. But MASSSIVE alarm bells started ringing though sadly I wasn’t gonna start listening to them until nearly 10 years later.
Anyway fuck the past, the future is what matters. No point griping over the past cos it doesnt matter how much energy you waste on what ifs and maybes, it won’t change a thing. The future on the other hand is yet to be written. And the change starts right here every single moment of the day.
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I needed to hear this, I have a huge problem with living in the past, but I need to use my energy for the future !
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Hiya Wade,
The way I see it, is that it’s important to learn from the lessons of the past but it’s absolutely fruitless to beat yourself over the head over all the stupid shit we’ve all done. And the same is true about worrying about things that haven’t happened or fantasising about worst case scenarios because it’s an absolute waste of energy. One tip I can offer is that if you catch your self thinking like that just interrupt the cycle with better hopes for the future
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I remember leaving a club and getting into my car. Next thing I know I’m face down in the road with my car on it’s side. Just remember seeing the underneath side of the car and noticing blood all over me. Next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital. They had to call someone that knew me to try and calm me down because I was so belligerent to the doctor and nurses. Alcohol has tried to kill me over and over.
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I dont remember.
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Shit man … this is an endless pit. No time to crack open those memories.
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I just started trying to think of my worst blackout story. Several came to mind. Each time I thought about one, another shameful, embarrassing memory would immediately follow. My God. It’s making me literally sick thinking about how not even ONE of those times made me quit drinking for very long. That right there shows how sick alcohol is. How I managed to keep my family and a career are beyond me. The ways you’re able to convince yourself that you’re soooo good at hiding it from others…that you really are such a high functioning alcoholic. 
So unbeliably gross. Glad I’m able to see that now. I’m so thankful I finally got too tired of my own shit.
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13 jaeger bombs, 2 shots of Jack, 2 shots of goldschlager, 2 shots of everclear, and a Heineken… all in 30 minutes and on an empty stomach.
That was my worst black-out. I was more upset I had gotten blood on my white shirt. I fell off a flight of concrete stairs and then from a second story balcony.
My guardian angel retired with full benefits. I get a new one reassigned every year… it’s a contractual agreement.
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