You know you‘re getting old when kids ask you to tell stories about the past.
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You know you’re old when your kids tell you stories about the past 
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You know you are getting old when kids call music “oldies” and you realize it’s the music you like and not the music your parents listened to. 
Example - One of the girls I coach told me “Dr Dre and Eminem” was considered oldies and my heart shattered in that moment.
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You know your getting old when the new “boot cut pants” bell bottom are in, ,
but you can show a picture of boot cut pants from the 70s
.
.
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Some of your favourite rock heroes have to perform sitting in a chair now.
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Please welcome The Strolling Bones. 
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Opening for them will the the Old Rascals and Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheelchairs.
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I hear Bon Jovi is back in the studio recording their new upcoming single: “Living on a Pension”.
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I remember that Bon Jovi album. It was called “Slippery When Wet”. 1986. “I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up” seems more appropriate at our age.
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I told my son let’s go get a book at Barnes and noble or the library
He said, just downloaded it
.
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… you need bifocal glasses…
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I’m getting old. I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m constantly tired, like 100 years of sleep are not enough to catch up. It’s getting autumn-y, wonderful,my favourite season. And i’m exhausted from this fucking summer. like every year. and every year it gets worse.
i get fucking old.
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You can rationalize applying for the Santa Clause gig at the mall this Christmas.
Don’t even fucking attempt to use chopsticks when the noodle bowl shows.
Anyone under about age 30 irritates the shit out of you near immediately.
Totally love your profession but retirement in a week sounds absolutely amazing.
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You have to ask everyone to repeat themselves three times whether you’re in a full room or on the couch with just your wife….
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