Mine is honesty and I’m surprised at how quickly my mind convinces me I’m being completely honest when I’m not ( regarding the drinking).
Self discovery. 
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Wow- I like that. 
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So well put! And true. 
Self acceptance
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Self Care! Avoid HALT situations- Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.
It’s much easier to cope if you’re truly making an effort to take care of your basic human needs, which many of us drank to ignore.
Hot baths or showers, quiet time, going for walks and not letting myself get HANGRY helps me tremendously!
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Oh- I was just telling my son about HALT earlier. Or rather reminding him! You have a great list. Thank you’
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Of course! Great topic!
A HALT situation + alcohol almost always resulted in a blackout dumpster fire in my soul.
Still cleaning up the mess!
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I hear ya and I say the good old one…
" I ain’t where I wanna be but I sure as heck
ain’t where I used to be"
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I know this was yours @WhiteDoves, but for me it’s also honesty. Honesty in saying where I am at all times (to my partner) and checking in with him and my sponsor when I’m out with friends.
A big part of my drinking was sneaking off and lying about where I was. Running “errands,” which really were me drinking at a bar by myself and totally justifying my behavior in various ways.
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Yep. I ran a lot of “errands”…never managed to come home with food from the grocery or gas in the car though. I’d make up elaborate lies as to why things weren’t done. I DO NOT miss that at all.
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This is a good question. I think health and self love.
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Ya know 1128- I am just now at the self love and health part. I think what Sunbaby said- self acceptance is real important. I used to think self love and self acceptance were the same thing but they’re not. Brenee’ Brown puts out some really great books about both topics. Actually she covers many topics with a very positive and interesting perspective. A few I am reading are The Gifts of imperfection/Rising Strong/I thought it was me but it isn’t. I’m in no way plugging for her book sales! I like to share good resources when I can! I am still in the process of self acceptance which I see is leading to self love. Very important for building us strong again. At least for me. 
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Love this perspective 
spot on!
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Self-respect…this leads to honesty, taking care of myself and my needs on a daily basis, staying sober to become the best version of myself, and to conduct myself in a healthy manner through my thoughts, words, and actions. Self-respect is a packaged deal. 
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Hello Elisabeth! It’s fine that we use each other’s tools that are alike! Part of what bonds is all here . I saw this question posted on a different mom’s group I belong to and what it made me realize for myself is that I have all of these excellent tools and sayings for aiding myself in relapse and recovery and it’s pretty easy to name them all. But when I had to stop and think about the one most important thing that matters it was really really hard and it took me a while to come to it. Although we require very many tools and other people that understand us for longevity in recovery, for me honesty must come first if I am to remain sober as lies create guilt for me and we all know guilt leads to or is the same as shame and none of us wants to walk around with those two heavy suitcases!! So, I’m happy for several of us to have the “one thing” in common. I also learn SO much from others’ “one thing” because they offer a new tool I may not have come across yet and I’m always in search for more helpful tools! Have a great Tuesday!!
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I so like how well you make your points dogboi Due to the fact that I have 3 children ( now grown), while I was drinking, it was done, or rather over-done openly at home, (huge regret- but my kids and I have forgiven that), thankfully. Now- when I was doing my drug of choice, phew… errands, working overtime, blaming all the laundry in order to stay up into the wee hours of the night, you guys know the list! One time I had to run out to pick my daughter up from her friend’s house. Was gone for 2 hours and came back without her. That was my worst
"I’ll be right back" ever. Like you said- I DO NOT miss that crap at all. Thanks for the great reminder of loving the choice of recovery!
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Yes! That’s so important. It made me think of how one tool assists the other to create that “one thing”. So my struggle used to be which one do I work on first? As I began to think about that I learned that for my thinking and re-training my brain I had to task breaking. An example would be we all brush our teeth and say I have to brush my teeth, but that begins with a first thought and a first action from grabbing the toothbrush, then the toothpaste, removing the cap, squeezing out the paste onto the brush, etc.
but the whole package is that we brushed our teeth in the end!! See why this girl (me) has SO much work to do in my recovery!! Keep it simple WhiteDoves!!! Thank you melrm you lightened my load!!!
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Tackling the causes of drink/drug compulsion is vital to the recovery process. For me, it was self esteem and social problems. For others, work and family stress. Start working on those and not only will you find it easier to fight cravings but you’ll get less of them in the first place.
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