There is always a seat waiting back on the horse , you said you went to AA for the first year , and left you got 10 years , maybe this time get a sponsor get on the program maybe it will work better when you are tempted wish you well
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I agree with you. Thank you.
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Thank you, it’s a beautiful Sunday where I am too. I’m drinking lots of water, even though I still feel sick. 
Thank you for coming here and sharing your story. I think it will not only help you but others! Im new in my sober journey, 70 days, and new to AA and as far as i know theres always a seat open. Dont worry about judgment. Do what you have to do to get back onto your sober path.
Thank you for sharing because you have shown me that this disease is powerful and we have to remain vigilent.
10 years of sobriety is not easy or anything to balk at. Thats amazing. Your story can help others in AA who may have become complacent. You are already doing service. Any group would be wise to welcome you.
I hope you find the motivation and encouragement to get back on the horse and win against this disease. Best of luck!
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Hi! @IfNotNow Welcome!
Your share hits home with me. I relapsed at nine years, ten months.
I was very active in AA the whole time. I got bored. I started to romance the idea of being able to drink like a gentleman around eight years sober until I acted on it. It didnt take very long to not drink like a gentleman. I had an extremely difficult time quitting. I put myself through eight years of hell trying to make drinking work for me.
My biggest obstacles were not appreciating lesser amounts of sober time.
For example… 30, 60, and 90 days didn’t mean anything to me because I had walked away from ten years. I had a really hard time coming back to AA. My alcoholic thinking created a gigantic obstacle from allowing myself to belong there.
I also felt like because I started drinking again, I had to make it work. Failure was not an option.
I wasn’t willing to let go of the people places and things I drank with. If I did make it 30 days, hanging out with slippery people and places got me every time.
I found this forum. I made it seven months and had one more lesson to learn. The support I had here helped me keep that relapse short. I call it my final relapse. Since then I have become active in AA again and its been good for me.
I haven’t allowed a drop of alcohol to enter my bloodstream in two years and eight months. I appreciate and I’m grateful for every sober day I have now.
This place has been huge for my recovery. Its 24/7. I needed 24/7 when I got here.
Glad your here!
In my homegroup there are only two people who have never relapsed. You are not alone. You will not be judged. I love online support. I need human contact too. Real hugs. Eye contact and they make you a cake on your sobriety birthday. Its a pretty good deal.
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I was sober for 22 years, 6 months and 4 days when I relapsed. And I can tell you my experience going back into the rooms has been nothing short of a miracle. So many who have been sober for years have told me that me sharing my experience has made an impact on them.
You didn’t lose that sobriety. It’s a part of your story. And for me, sobriety this time means so much more to me. Having relapsed made me stronger in my program.
Good for you for reaching out!
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Welcome to the forum. I know it’s a disappointing situation, but the very best thing you can do is look at it and ask yourself what you’ve learned that you can use to better your life. This is a very valuable learning opportunity in your own personal growth and understanding.
If you go to a meeting, and you feel deeply judged, then find a new group and try that one. I would think that most people would not judge you, but would offer you understanding and support. I also would think that your story would be very valuable to others.
There will always be people who judge you for one thing or another. Do they really matter? Let them think as they will and concern yourself with doing what you need to do for yourself. You are the hero in your own story, and this is your journey.
You can do this.
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My experience is naw, you won’t be judged. At least in my group they’re relieved when someone comes back! People may ask the inevitable “what have we learned.” But more than that, we always wonder when someone is gone for a while if they’re doing well or not. We all know what it’s like. They may be gone cuz things are going well. Or… possibly not. Just happy to see that people are back on the horse today. In our hearts we just wanna see each other doing well. And we’ve all been there, for better and worse.
That experience is also valuable, for ourselves and others.
Like what you just shared. I’m coming up on 4 years. This week at a going away party someone I look up to who I thought knew damn well I had quit offered me a beer. “No thanks.” Maybe I’d just like a taste? They poured me a sip.
For a split second I thought about it. It looked so innocent. Fortunately the recovery brain kicked in and said, what are you, insane? I doubled down and said, “No. I don’t drink.” He said oh, ok and let it go.
I need to remember it can start with something so seemingly small. On one hand I knew just saying no would keep things simple. On the other, I did think about it for a moment. Shocked though I was he pressed.
At any rate, thanks for sharing this and welcome back. Never hurts to double down!
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I’m in the same boat after 7 years of sobriety.
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Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who left a message. I went back to a meeting the day after my dreadful hangover and was welcomed with open hearts. It was soooooo good to be back. I learned that whilst I can be sober without the meetings, I can’t stay sober because the meetings are the best reminder that I am powerless over alcohol.
That’s the cruz of it, I have a body that can’t process alcohol and a mind that thinks it can. Just one sip was all it took for my alcholic brain to come up with the lie that maybe this time I could control my usage. I thought that drinking small amounts and stopping before I got drunk was the secret to being able to drink like a ‘normal’ person.
I was playing Russian roulette but had somehow convinced myself that it was OK because the bullets in the gun were smaller. Insanity.
Just for today I am sober and so, so grateful to be back under the caring wings of AA.
Thank you for your support.
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U done well doing ten years u should still be proud
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Great job, you can be very proud on yourself. For all a good reminder that only one sip will light up the whole Christmas tree again.
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I feel your shame, I relapsed after 7 years of sobriety. The difference is it took me 10 yrs to get back. I just made 6 months AF. You know what you need to do to fix it much quicker than I did so I am judging you. That you are smarter to recognize this needs fixing now. You can do it
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Thank you Trying22 by the grace of my higher self it stepped in when my lower self had ruined the show yet again. It’s amazing that you have made it 6 months, this time things will be different. I know, nobody wants to relapse but sometimes some of us take a bit longer to admit step one. Good Luck.
Haha oh yes, that Christmas tree was plugged in and the lights were flashing from just one sip. In the end, I was like the Christmas tree with all the needles bare, left out for the trash. Not worth it.
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Bobbyw, read up on PAWS, Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. You may be right around a time of PAWS. Hang in there!
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Thank you! It might just because I’m having my 1st cup of coffee but I feel great I think you’re right! Thank you for the support!
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Firstly congratulations on remaining sober for 10 years. Secondly you’ve been a complete dick so go to some meetings and tell others how not to be a complete dick.
Nobody is judging you you’ve got too much experience to offer.
You’ve already helped me today. Thank you.
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Glad you find that there. Keep coming back as they say. I find it right here at this forum and that’s the main reason I’ve been here every day for 1137 days now. One day at a time. Besides that I work my recovery in many ways, work that I can do because I’m sober. It’s a double edged sword so to speak. Thanks for sharing friend.
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