Congratulations on your 1000 days of sobriety 
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A belated congratulations!!
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Congratulations !!! 
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Thank you, guys!
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Nice to see you posting. Welcome to the 1000 club LOL
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Hello everyone, this is my first post here im 22 from Germany.
I also have a thousand days, so over three years, wow. I used this app since day one of sobriety but only the counter function and never clicked on the community function. When I did one year sober I deleted the app bc I thought Im through with it. Exactly since than i have experienced first struggles. They came and go but I did mostly fine for the next two years. Unfortunately Ive fallen sick with depression. It hit me like a truck seven months ago and now im through the worst of it but somehow the episode wont end. Ive been looking for a therapist for the depression, but since a few days I have struggled immensely with sobriety and intrusive thoughts about drinking / smoking pot etc. Ive never experienced this severity and it scares me honestly. Im just trying to hold on for now and tell myself I just have to make it to tuesday where I have my appointment with the therapist. Anyways… yeah it feels like hell but im at 1200 days or so and im proud of myself. I started building myself up from the bottom three years ago and since than Ive had no friends but Ive done my bachelors degree and made tremendous progress. I was full of shame and guilt in the beginning and coukdnt breathe from the weight of ruminating and overthinking. Now I can breathe again, and I love myself and accept myself always. I forgive myself for everything that was and will be. I am thankful and see the positives and try to fight my immense urge to isolate myself through connecting with people and the world around me. Every day is a mixed bag and the past half year has been the hardest of my life. I thought I was doing bad before, oh brother. But we dont have control over what happens. We have control if how we deal with it. I iften get tired of constantly having to deal and put so much effort to get half of the results. But I accept it all and I have decided to live and enjoy life and take it easy. I never thought that the struggle would make such an unseen come back, but here we are. I accept it and I try, like I always (freaking) do, my best to deal with it as healthily as I can. Anyways these past few days overwhelmed me out if nowhere. Im a little scared so I downloaded the app on my phone to remind myself of my progress. I thought I was done with this (shiz) but obv im not and… thats okay bc it has to be. So I saw the community icon, clicked it, and found this beautiful space of people who suffer from the same disease. Ive been reading many posts on here and it makes me feel less alone with it, more normal and less scared. Its comforting and lovely how you support each other on here. Love to everybody. Sobriety is freedom, not the other way around! Congrats to OP snd everybody on how far theyve come! Every day matters and a thousand is impressive!
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Welcome to the forum Mulan! And big congrats on making it this far in your sobriety, and with all you accomplished! Awesome work friend. Reading your post I notice one thing. One thing that might be lacking from your sober journey. That one thing is community. The opposite of addiction is community. I have found that community right here. Without my peers I could never have come where I am now.
Actually I am still struggling a bit with making new friends in the physical world. Trying to work on it but I find it hard. And I feel it might be true for you that part of your depressive feelings come from that, from the lack of friends, the lack of connection. We humans, we are social animals. We need interaction, we need each other.
Anyhow, I’m glad you found us! We’re in this together and the more the stronger we are. It’s great to have you aboard! Hugs.
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Oh my gosh! I am so glad you clicked that icon and found us! You are so welcome. Big big congrats on your long term sobriety and all the work that I’m sure went into that. I agree with Menno that we need connection. Especially with people who have similar experiences and struggles. We are peers hoping to support and lift each other up and be lifted in our own turn. I can relate to the depressive feelings, I have them also and usually it’s when I isolate myself. Staying connected and engaged with this community has made a huge difference for me. I hope you will take time to read around and chime in when it feels right to you. The daily check in thread is a great place to start. But there are many other interest based threads or personal ones, too.
Checking in daily to maintain focus
I’m very glad you posted today and welcome!
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Welcome Mia and congratulations on your 1218 days!! It sounds like you have been feeling some big feelings and emotions, I can relate to that and also to anxiety and depression coming on after some good sobriety. We don’t have to react the old way (drinking or using), we can find new ways of being okay with our selves…in easy AND rough times. I am glad you found us, it can help so much to have a place to go to vent, read, build community. And glad you have therapy coming up. So glad you are here. 
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Thank you for your kind words! I feel warmer already. Sorry you had to face depression (and anxiety) as well. Not easy to stay sober and deal with new crushing issues on top. Its tempting to “deal with it” by numbing yourself…but so much harder in the long run. I guess by drinking / using one just pushes the problems in front of them until they pile up and crash you. Im happy and amazed that you found healthiler ways to deal with those two! Because its absolutely so not easy. Respect. And I’ll try to do that as well.
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You’re right. Thank you for your thoughts. Im hardwired to isolate but humans literally need connection. Im trying to work on that and …sometimes it works out. I want a community but it can be hard bc I often feel more like an alien than a human…Making friends out there isn’t easy, huh? Let me know if you run across an alien (haha). Oh and i applaud you for trying to make new friends. Isnt easy right… its hard but honestly great job on having the courage and heart to keep trying. Keep up the good work!
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Thank you sincerely. I made this step today and I can already feel a little difference. Thanks for opening up. I relate that isolation is a dangerous thing… it can lead to “weirdness” (and rumination etc) and mental problems / illness. I try to force myself out of my comfort zone of isolation all the time. It feels against my nature but I find that once I swallow the medicine it does often make me feel better. I wish I didn’t have to constantly force and overcome myself to deal well with everything… and behave healthily… but alright. Thankfulness. At least im able to cope better and have enough energy to do that again snd again… thank you and I admire the work you do with the community. Congrats on all of your progress to this day.
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You are very wise, Mulan! 22? Whaaaat?? To take action on your addiction and depression? You are heading in the right direction. I’m so glad you found us.
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Your words feel like a big hug🙏 thank you.
I have great respect for all the work you must have put in in your sober journey. The community inspires me to accept the fact that I’ll probably be struggling with this for the rest of my life, in whatever capacity.
If I read correctly you have had 18 years sober before? That’s absolutely mind-blowing, woah!!
May I ask how did you deal with relapsing after so long? How was it? How are you now?
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Just wanted too say welcome Mulan 
I’m glad you’re here. This place has saved me many times over the years, I hope it will benifit you in a similar way. Best wishes to you.
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Welcome to TS and thank you for sharing bits of you story with us. That’s an amazing achievement 
I am always happy to see some people from Germany finding this community. 
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Thank you Dan, wonderful to hear. Best wishes right back 
Thank you for your praise. I am getting comfy here fast😂
So agreed, i think its cool that people from around the world come together here! Let’s kick it.
Sending best wishes.
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