Why do I keep failing! When the urge hits me and I become weak or I am rationalizing my self into having another drink that then causes me to drink all I can till I pass out. What can I do? What do you do to focuse on something else to destract yourself from drinking.
Health wise I NEED to stop. My check liver light has been on. Fatty liver and enzymes are up. I know I have too and why. You would think thats enough. Its not. I need to focus, double down and find a different way to get out of my head rather then drinking. Advice? Can’t be things that are expensive. Free would be great
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Try to think in advance. Plan your evening without alcohol, drink tea, eat something sweet. Plan, how will you react if the cravings will appear. Be aware, that you can control your thoughts, you can distract your brain. Analyze your thoughts. Figure out what works for you. Reading this forum usually helps a lot, you can find a lot of information on this topic.
Concentrate on the positive side of being sober. Repeat to yourself, why is it good to be sober. Care about your body. Start to think about it as something really valuable.
And in the meantime, work on your issues. What is the main reason of your addiction? What do you want to forget, avoid? What do you miss from your life, how can you change it? Start to build up a life you do not want to lose.
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It takes hard work and determination to stay sober.
It’s got to be the first and foremost thing on our minds morning, noon and night.
You’ve been here a couple of weeks now but only have 1hr read time.
May I suggest searching the
Resources for newcomers thread?
There is so much information on here that can help you.
Search Distractions!
Most of all, dig down really deep to fight the urges.
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AA is free
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You need to work out what’s driving you to want ANY way to get out of your head @SLB.
I’ve been sober for coming up to 4 years, packed in cocaine and cigarettes 20 years ago - but, like you say - still needed that something to get out of my head.
Then I realised I was doing it to stop feeling the shame, anger and guilt of multiple things in my past, MANY of which were caused BY the booze and cocaine use.
You’ll get great advice from really nice people here so I won’t even try - suffice to say, don’t let the demons of your past destroy your now and your future.
When you keep staring into the abyss, eventually the abyss will stare back into you.
Good luck.
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Like @Mephistopheles said, the fact that you keep trying is a show of strength so be proud of that and help gain focus.
I was like you are now, wondering why it wouldnt stick and felt like I was failing time after time. For me, admitting things were only getting progressively worse to myself was hard. I liked to be in control then; the one thing I could not control was me!
With that personal admission I started AA for the 5th time I think, but this time with a different mindset, not to find a reason ‘not to be there’ but to take only the positive supportive experience and disregard the things I didnt like.
I also started reading ALOT and listening to motivational videos and audio.
Finally, and I think the part that brought everything together was that I stopped looking at the past and kept focused on my future. I would reflect periodically but not dwell on it.
I am 13+ months sober now and loving it. But like you, there were many many restarts.
There are great people in this forum with loads of good advice.
Stay strong and you will find what works for you and how good a sober life can be!
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I have 11 restarts since August as well. But I’ve also realized no matter how many times I rationalize with myself that drinking is ok, for me, it’s not. Ends up bad every single time.
I just made it through the weekend sober by knowing I would. Planning my tea/coffee. Having something to do in the evening. Even if it was pre planning a movie to watch, it gave me something to look forward too. I also come on here a lot, and even if I don’t want to talk, I read. It truly helps keep me sober, even if I am craving.
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Give it no power, nor your strength or attention, not easy but so very possible, feeding the thought just allows it to consume us even more so, flip it on its head, stop feeding it and feed the energy into a positive action for yourself, could be a walk, meditate, swimming, or even when possible take a nap. Xx you can and will concour this. Xx
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Hang in there! I have also have has many resets since I first joined… I am going on day 7 now and feeling stronger than ever! I agree with the others on planning ahead, I started to do a little spin on bullet journaling its been helpful in keeping me busy during the evenings. Also, I come on here a lot, sometimes i post or comment, sometimes i just read what others are up to… I’ve been drinking ice water with a straw as a replacement of my usual whiskey and diet soda that has helped too.
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Love this!
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Print this post out and keep it handy. It is really hard those first few days/weeks. We’ve all been there and I know I’m not any stronger than you probably. Push through and get mad at that voice tempting you!!
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I hear ya on the restarts. I was a chronic relapser. I actually decorated a xmas tree one year with all my white key tags from AA and CA and NA. I feel like I’ve tried everything imaginable to quit. I’m on Day 1 again and I’m doing things differently this time. Learning from past relapses can be a helpful tool in knowing not what to do. Keep at it! We got this 
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You aren’t weak!! Addiction is hard. Alcohol is cunning, baffling!!! The first step of AA is to admit we are powerless to alcohol. It sounds like an awful think to admit but the truth is, once you do it is completely freeing.
My advice is to stop fighting it. Give in to it (not give in to alcohol…but give in to the powerlessness) and get out there to get help. It doesn’t have to be AA, maybe another program, maybe private therapy. But you need support.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
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Acceptance is the answer. Having the disease is a big pill to swallow but owning it gives us strength. Talk about it to others on here, people you know who don’t drink or use and if you don’t know any… get some. Booze costs $ last time I checked, meetings are free. We all do this walk one day at a time.
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Well, I can give you a suggestion that - while not ABSOLUTELY free - is certainly VERY inexpensive.
You should look into the Stop Drinking (or words to that effect) book by Alan Carr on Amazon. I bought as a download for just a few euros, so it would probably be about the same in US money.
Here are a couple of things that I got from that book, that have stuck with me quite well.
Firstly, doing without alcohol isn’t DEPRIVING yourself of anything, but rather FREEING yourself from the talons of an industry that has spread illness and misery and poverty for millennia.
Secondly, what would happen if you guzzled 500 ml of water or juice or milk (or even Coke, for that matter) ? Well, other than feeling a bit bloated, NOTHING would happen. What would happen if you (tried to) guzzle half a litre of STRAIGHT alcohol ? You would probably be dead from alcohol poisoning before you got to the bottom of the glass.
Alcohol doesn’t add anything to life…
Yesterday, as I often do, I was feeling depressed as hell, sick and tired of being alone 98% of the time, generally bummed out and hating myself more than usual. I really felt for a bit that I WANTED to go buy some wine, in an effort to… to… I don’t know what.
But, I thought about it and remembered that alcohol really wouldn’t make things any better, and would only contribute to making me feel even crappier.
You should check in here whenever you can… you’ll find it helpful (I certainly have) to see that other people have gone / are going through similar things.
You can do it, we all can.
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Everyone has already given you great advice. I just wanted to add that there’s a lot of resources out there that are free including this app but you have to want it bad enough. Here’s a link when you’re ready to commit 100%. Resources for our recovery
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Allen Carr’s book is brilliant! Defo worth a read. The one saying that struck my very core early on, that I saw on here was…NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES! If you really want to stop you have to be really strong and don’t drink! Take it an hour at a time, a day at a time. It’s hard, we all have had a day one but if you really want to change you have to make changes. I’m sending you strength… 
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I am back to day 1 as well after reaching 10 days sober for the first time in months.
I did not reach out for help from my sponsor or anyone before picking up a drink again. I felt good sober, was doing more, reading more, thinking clearer.
Being alone at home, stress, wanting to feel that bliss that comes with the first drink led to 3 days of drinking and having to call into work for one of those days.
I feel so weak, a failure, like I will never be able to manage this disease.
Haven’t told any family or friends, so scared of how they would react/what they would say.
Did reach out to my sponsor and others in AA, started taking my Antabuse again.
It makes no sense that I would keep putting myself through this cycle of pain, regret, withdrawals yet I do.
It’s insane how I am handling this, I hate it so much!
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If it helps it stick this time it was worth it, Sonya. It took me quite a few, but when you get it, you get it!!
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I show 27 resets. Truly hope it does stick this time.
I keep saying and know I want a better life, it’s just getting myself to ask/get help before I make a mistake again.
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