Where do I start? I’ve always been an overachiever in my adult life. Mostly because I had been told I wasn’t good enough during my childhood. Fast forward to age 30, Mother of four sons, degreed, upward mobility in my career, military wife(abusive alcoholic self centered husband), lovely two story home, etc. Alcohol was not a big deal to me and drank sparingly. Life goals have been achieved! However, I was overweight. I opted to have a gastic bypass surgery because that’s what I needed to be perfectly happy. Down the rabbit hole went Alice, aka me. Down down down. Lost the house, divorced the POS husband (bye bye 17 years of a horrible partner), left the job, had to raise four sons alone, 16, 15, 12, and 9. I moved across the country because that’s what we had planned to do after military retirement. I am a full fledged functioning alcohol by that point. I managed to find love again but it’s hard to share a life with someone while you’re broken. It did didn’t last long. But it was long enough to get pregnant with my beautiful baby girl 
( no drinking while pregnant but after birth picked up where I left off).No child support, working two jobs, the stigma of being a single parent, and basically still broken, I continued with more alcohol. I still wasn’t admitting it. I found solace in other functioning alcoholics to make myself feel “normal” and continue on with my denial. I came back “home” three years later with my five children to CA. I was chastised by my family, why haven’t I found a husband yet? (Mind you by now, I’m thin but oh so broken) why am I jobless? (Recession hit hard in my field) Why was I drinking so much? You’re being weak! I was left alone to fight life. Alcohol was my only friend. It loved me unconditionally. It was always there for me, no questions asked. It didn’t judge me. It was my disconnection from stress and took me to a happier place. Or so I thought. Down the rabbit hole, deeper and deeper. Fast forward a few more years, I check myself into rehab. I did well. The staff was wonderful. I went to my first AA meeting and I was told by the “host” that I’d better not be there to “just meet friends”, the homeless guy sitting next to me pooped in the chair, and I wanted nothing more than just get out of there. Three months later, I was drinking again. The boys are now grown. My oldest won’t talk to me but the other three adore Mom. I managed to find a guy, broken like me (just like the song lol). Living together was a nightmare. Two alcoholics under the same roof is cause for nasty arguments, broken everything, police visits, crying children, and basically hell. But, he was my drinking buddy and I didn’t want to give him up.Fast forward again, I now have the best job that I have ever had. I am buying a house, on my own. I’m getting closer to 50 years old. But I drink every night until I pass out. I drink all weekend. I drink and drink and drink. I’ve gained all my weight back. I have unfinished projects all over the place. My daughter stays most of her time in her room, far away from me. She begs me to stop drinking. I want to climb under the shameful rock. I’ve dodged so many bullets, I need to feel blessed. But I don’t. I feel ashamed. Finally, after Covid, I worked from home and did nothing but drink and drink and drink. I gained so much more weight. My son came back from overseas due to Covid and stayed with me. My first fear was that I was going to say something stupid and he’s going to hate me forever. Instead, he suggested that we go on a keto diet together, not that he needed it LoL I agreed and stayed sober for a week. Wow it had been a long time since being sober that long. I started to do some research, and it appears that many gastric bypass people become alcoholics having not been before surgery such as myself. That wasn’t what"sobered" me up. It was the posts after an article of people, family, and doctors. OMG the pain I read. The horrible struggles. The deaths. People like me. I know it doesn’t matter if you’ve spent a lifetime to become an alcoholic or if you become one basically overnight. When you are there, you are there. But, I don’t want to be another statistic. I am now 5 weeks and 5 days sober. I feel like this time is different. I read those posts when I feel weak. And now I’ve found this place. I’m hoping to stay sober for life. I went to the doctor and am awaiting the results of my blood work and I’m hoping my liver has survived the beating it has taken in the last 19 years. My ultimate goal after kicking this is to help other gastric bypass alcoholics. Maybe I’ll write a book or help in some other way. Sorry for the long post. I’ve NEVER shared this story with anyone. I didn’t know how much I would cry either LoL
Welcome!! This is a great place to be for support and a community and being able to talk with others who understand what you’re going through.
If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the connection between the surgery and people then becoming alcoholics? That’s very interesting and something I’ve never heard of before.
Also, congrats on over a month of sobriety!! That’s amazing and a huge accomplishment.
Thank you so much 
The articles that I’ve read so far are stating that they’re still doing research. Theories include: addiction substitution, physiological disruptions, or physical stomach alterations that mimic the"numbing" of years of alcohol abuse. Here’s one of the articles: Alcoholism after gastric bypass:
Is it in your mind or gut? | Scienceline
Very interesting, thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the kind words 
Hi pal and welcome!
I am really glad you shared all of that. It helps us beyond measure to share our stories with other alcoholics. It’s like when we say these trials and fears out loud they lose their power over us.
Again, I am glad you’re here. And I gotta say that I have been to hundreds of AA meetings and I have seen a lot of stuff. But never someone pooping themselves.
Maybe trying another meeting is in your future. Might help someday
Thank you for the support Gabe (my baby boy is named Gabe! The name) LoL yes that did happen at that meeting! I tried a few other meetings but never really found a good fit. I live in a small town and meetings are limited to a few. I have been looking at some of the online meetings now that many in person meetings are shut down over Covid. I may go that route. Maybe someone can suggest a good Zoom meeting for beginners on here I’m liking this site so far though. Take care and thank you again!
Hi lady, and congrats to you! 5 weeks is awesome. And you have been through so much. I so appreciate your share. You are an incredibly strong woman. You will find lots of individuals on TS that you can relate to and vice versa.
Thank you LeeHawk. So far, I am loving this support. I’ve been scrolling through everything and am feeling a good fit here 
Thank you for the sweet words and support. It means so much to me.
Boots, you are going to have me start running! 
Keto plus sobriety has me wanting cupcakes!!! And I don’t even like cake! LoL Yes I think there’s a lot more research that needs to be done. I feel very welcomed here. And at least if someone poops in their pants here, I won’t have to smell it!
Thank you for sharing and welcome. Congratulations on your five weeks and five days. That’s awesome, and also keto is generally good for most people but it does take dedication, so good on you.
I hope you find what you need here. Dive in, read the threads, try out some zoom meetings, and take part in the discussions. It’s a great resource.
Thank you Chiron! Keto has actually been easier than the sobriety. I can still eat when I get a craving. Albeit, it has to be proteins and veggies. But, alcohol cravings just need to be stomped out of my head. Right now, my son has been a Godsend. I am afraid of future social settings where I feel pressured. That’s where I have failed in the past. Just the look of a bottle of my favorite wine triggers something in me 
Welcome Rebecca. Thank you for sharing and congrats on your sobriety. I look forward to following your journey. I attend some woman in recovery meetings online and find them very helpful. The site is intherooms.com. Their app is horrible because you can’t hear all the shares so I do it from my laptop and the women are amazing.
Oh yes thank you Lisa07! I will definitely check it out 
Totally understandable. One thing that has helped me for some situations is to come up with what I want to say for those situations, then take time to visualize myself in those situations, and go over some of the replies I’ve come up with, but to say it out loud so that I’m used to really saying it. After I practice, I’ll take a few moments to really feel gratitude for having had the strength to say no, and to be strong, just as if it was really happening. It trains the mind to associate that good feeling reward with following through.
Not sure if that sounds like something that you’d find useful, but I figured I’d mention it just in case.
Oooo I like that. I really like that. It’s a plan of action. Thank you for that idea!
Rebecca, I to became alcoholic only after gastric bypass in 2006. Letting alcohol destroy everything in my life. Emotionally and physically it was a very dark, painful period that I went through. At the time it seemed like there is no possible way that I could stop the emotional downward spiral of despair. It was as like an invisible force pulling me deeper and deeper into the lonely, dark, forbidding, proverbial rabbit hole with no end in sight.
Fortunately, it’s not like that for me today. Due to the miracles of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, total surrender, willingness and honesty, today I am learning to live Life on life’s terms with the disease of alcoholism and addiction, one day at a time, one our the time, even one breath at a time. I am okay with just being okay and for an alcoholic/addict like me, that’s a good state of mind to be in. As of today I have 1019 days of continuous sobriety. There, but for the grace of God go I.
Thank you for your share Rebecca and welcome to Talking Sober. Keep reaching out, stay focused and determined in your sobriety. You will find some incredible people here that will help with some insightful suggestions in your recovery. Hopefully you will find this community as indispensable in your sobriety as I have in mine. Wishing you peace and serenity my friend
Thank you Edmund. It’s so good to hear that a Post GB person as survived alcoholism. I would imagine you didn’t have alcohol problems prior to surgery. They usually screen pretty good for that. It sucks that we do this to become healthy and all we really did was trade in one demon for another Thank you for reaching out to me! I’m really enjoying the amazing support and hope I can one day say that I have as many sober days as you!
@Ravikamor I’m so proud of you and your not drinking accomplishment! One day at a time you’ve done it and also helped so many others.
You surely have many, many “ sober babies” who are sober because of your help and guidance. Congratulations to you for rescuing yourself, your life and family. I know it does take a village but lots of hard work on your part to have the will and the want to do it. Much admiration and respect, my friend. New grand baby soon, too. Big hugs and lots of love.
I found this post on the Jan 2023 welcome/ intro thread. You put a link there. 
Awww Alisa you’re making me cry 
Thank you Yes 2/2 years sober and a new grandbaby on the way!! Big hugs to you