31 days down. Next up, tomorrow

My first post. I am officially at 31 days without alcohol, my longest time without a drink since 2017-2018. This may be some rambling and choppy, but I just want to share.

It started as “Dry January” which I considered a simple way to cover up the fact that I have a problem with alcohol. I used to think I could moderate it, but this past year and reflecting on issues I have had that revolved around alcohol, I do not think moderation is meant for me.

After a handful of incidents in my short past, I always came to the idea that “one day I’ll have to quit drinking” and that one day kept getting put off.

I would take a week off of drinking or not drink during the week. I was even told by a friend, “I don’t think you have a drinking problem, you don’t drink every day.” But some days I did drink every day, and even if I didn’t, it was the emotions and things I associated with alcohol. I mean sure, not every brunch and mimosa bar was filled with negative feelings, but I knew that some days were better than others. They were the days that made me feel like I could moderate. It was like a trick my brain was playing and yet I still knew exactly what was happening. The issue was in front of me, and I actively chose to ignore it.

I am still coming to terms that this could be a step in the direction of a forever commitment, but I also know that I can only take this one day at a time. Forever didn’t seem impossible but it just was so… final. Perhaps it is choosing to not see this as an end, but just a continuation of whatever is next to learn.

Even just looking at that above, I know I am in a more mindful place than I have been before. I am actively choosing to say these words and that is telling me I may actually have a better shot at staying sober than I have in the past.

So, here’s to tomorrow and whatever is to come.

Thank you.

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Welcome JMichelle.
We’re glad your here.
Congratulations on your first month of not drinking.
I got my first year sober recently and the thought of “forever” not drinking, still scares the shit out of me. I try not to go there. I’m sticking with. “I’m not drinking today! And I’m probably not drinking tomorrow.”
Lots a great people to help support us around here.
These are my 2 favorite threads here.

We are stronger together.
Hope to see you around.
:pray:t2::heart:

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Welcome! It sounds like you know what you need to do and are on the right path. Realizing we have a problem is not always easy, especially when we can mostly function normally and not everyone else notices.

Stick around here though. It will be a great resource for you.

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Forever is a long time, and like @Dazercat, it scares me too so here’s to an alcohol free today. Congratulations on Dry January!

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Thank you for the additional links and support! I will have to check those out.

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Thank you to everyone who has responded! It is reassuring to see those words and know that I am truly not alone in some of this though process! Looking forward to taking each day at a time :slight_smile:

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Welcome and great job on your 31 days…that is pretty fantastic! Keep up the great work!

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