That’s wonderful to hear, just hearing what you have done and do.
Seems like you had a long summer of change too.
2 Likes
@JazzyS “Thats God math!” 
1 Like
Amen 
. Not girl math…it’s God’s math 
1 Like
Forgiveness..
..
Trigger Warning: Mrs. Kirk talks forgiveness.
…
…
Forgive others, like you would want God to forgive you.
Let God forgive your past, and mistakes.
Bring forgiveness to the table, so bitterness, resentment and hostility don’t corrupt the heart.
…
I wish I could say I had a clean childhood, I didn’t.. I had to also forgive many people. Many things.
It dominated my emotions going through the steps. Things brought back up, things I even forgot.
Then from my pain to others.
From my abandonment issues, to my growing bitterness before Jesus, and insecurities within myself…
Then when I really went through the steps.. i really noticed how my traumas impacted and still impact my choices today.
But, all I can do is learn, realize and grow with Jesus. Letting Him lead and trust that when things get tough, He will lead me to better places. Let go and forgive.
Ahh, im tearing up over Mrs. Kirk.
I haven’t said anything about the situation here on TS, but look, its all step work.
Its all raw, real and here.
Even then we put Jesus first. Everyone who understands the bible to a degree, in pain and in joy, we praise the Lord. For we don’t know everything nor do we pretend to be God.
Many steps in just those sentences.
So much rambling. Its midnight.
Anyways, I think on wednesday i am going to draw up something on Forgiveness, the bible and what Jesus taught. In honor.
Goodnight.
2 Likes
Thank you for sharing your story Andre.
Grateful that you are working on opening up your heart now 
This is beautiful Dana! Loved your share in these questions 
I too see God’s temple as our body and He is within us
Okay – lets do some more soul searching 
Part XI
- Since accepting Jesus Christ as your higher power, how has God transformed your mind (Romans 12:2)? What worldly standards have you given up?
-
I had to look up Romans 12:2 (God may continue to provide us with pleasure, possessions, and status in various forms, but he urges us to learn how to look at life with a new question: What does God want for me? What is truly a good, acceptable, and perfect use of my life for His purposes and not just for my own?)
-
I am shedding my attachments and letting go of material possessions that do not serve me. This is a process but I am learning to let go and it is allowing me to become lighter.
-
God is helping me work on my anger and rage. Helping me heal from my past so that I do not carry it with me in the future.
-
God is helping me see all sides to situations that arise around me so that I can react (or actually not react) accordingly. Helping me not be judgmental or quick to jump to conclusions
-
God is helping me stay connected to Him
- How have you used denial to attempt to guard your mind?
- In the past I believe I lived in a denial state (drunk or high) in order to keep myself from feeling / thinking. I no longer live in this fog. In the present, I am present and alert. I am working to calm my mind and work through what ever may trouble me.
- Have you filles or are you filling your mind with hurtful and unhealthy movies, television programs, Internet sites, magazines or books?
-
I do still enjoy my horror and crime shows. I do also tend to listen / watch the news which in itself is hurtful and a reality. I tried for a while to only watch light hearted stuff and comedy but that only lasted for less than a year.
-
I don’t know if I will ever give up watching all together but do want to work on watching less (as I do have tv on a LOT in the background)
-
Real life events is hurtful and a part of life. I am working on being empathetic but not letting all the pain consume me.
- What are some positive truths you found in the bible?
- I am not familiar with the Bible but do feel the positive truths are listed as a road map on how to find God and be connected with Him. How to shed our worldly attachments and un-serving emotions.
Your body
- What past activities or habits caused harm to your physical health?
- My addictions – smoking, weed, alcohol. My lungs and liver are recovering but also my mental health and my emotions as these additions suppress so much of you.
- My OCD tendencies to have everything be just right – it is a compulsion that has made me work way past my breaking points just to get the task done.
- My perfectionism and my fear of being judged for not having it all together.
- In what ways have you mistreated your body?
- I have filled it with alcohol, weed and smoke in order to feel like I fit in, in order to numb my mind and emotions and in order to fill the void
- I have worked myself to sickness in work, home care and social living – wanted to have it all and do it all. I did have a breakdown back in 2013 where I could not hardly move for over a month. Would think that would have been a wake up call and enough to slow me down but NAH – it wasn’t. I was back to my normal pace and ways within days of getting better
- Starve myself and forget to hydrate cause I was too busy to think about me
- If you have abused alcohol, drugs, foods, or sex, how did they make you feel?
- In the moment at times it did feel great (not gonna lie). That moment did not last long and then it felt like SHIT – like for a very long time till I started the cycle again. There came a time that I just didn’t stop the cycle with alcohol cause I didn’t want to feel the SHIT part and realized that the whole experience was SHIT.
- What have you done to restore Gods temple?
- God’s temple is within me and is this earthly Body. I am working on eating better, sleeping more, hydrating more and practicing self care.
- I am working to pray / meditate more to help calm the body / mind and soul.
- I am working to practicing living in the moment to reduce anxiety
- I am learning my limits and pacing myself in my daily tasks. Working on not taking on more than what’s normal – just cause I can do it doesn’t mean I should (I used to believe that if I was awake then I should be productive and doing something – now I know that relaxing is also productive and necessary for our healing)
Your family
- Have you mistreated anyone in your family, verbally, emotionally or physically?
- I have been hurtful verbally to my parent. Many times in anger words were said that were hurtful and not true. Grateful that we have worked it out and know that we all care and love each other deeply.
- I have been physically hurtful to my siblings when I was younger and deep in addiction. Was a bit out of my mind and not able to fill my urges. Grateful again that we have worked through this and they know that I was not myself. Not an excuse by any means. Grateful they have forgiven me.
- Who in your family do you hold a resentment against? Why?
- I no longer hold the resentment towards my farther. Used to for many years and am so grateful that we are working on restoring our relationship.
- Can you think of anyone to whom you owe amends? Why? (Don’t worry about actually making them now, thats principle 6)
- No one in my family.
- What is the “family secret” that you kept denying?
- None that comes to mind… we are fairly open
- How have relationships improved since you have been in recovery?
- I am more open about my feelings and where I am coming from so that my family knows what it is that I am going through (it used to be something I kept to myself thinking I would show weakness if I let anyone in on the process)
- I am seeing their side of things and seeing how my words and actions are affecting them. Helps me correct my ways when necessary
- We are mending our hurt and pain and talking through our troubles.
Your Church
- How would you rate your past participation in your Church?
-
For me Church is within you and we meditate / pray to stay connected with God. We can make an assembly of peers who work on the same goals and meditate together to increase the positive energy. We do have a physical space to go and do this but it is not necessary.
-
Growing up before my teens we were not so into Church or meditation. In my teens we were introduced to my now adopted Grandfather who helped us find our way to God. Helped us find that connection through the scripture. I attended these sessions / meetings and felt like I did gain something from them that has stuck with me.
-
There was a time in my 20’s / 30’s that I was not wholeheartedly in it – I believed in God and meditated when it suited me but I was not 100% committed. I was ashamed of my actions and did not want to let God see me this way (even though I know He can see all at ALL times)
-
In sobriety I have found my way back to Him and am fully committed to building our connection. This is a daily practice
- Prior to your recovery, what was your main reason for going to Church?
- I was going with my family cause that is what we did LOL. I would often want to skip it or allow my mind to wander elsewhere even when I was there. Grateful that I am not being told or forced to go now – I am willingly seeking that connection.
- Have you ever tried to discourage family members from going to church? How? Why?
- NEVER! I have always believed in God and even if I was drifting away, there was no reason to keep anyone else from finding Him.
- Has your commitment to your church increased since starting your recovery?
- 100% I am more committed now. I am working on my own meditation and prayer practices but also learning how to read Punjabi so I can read our scripture and teachings.
Left off at post 128
2 Likes
It is a huge healing process as we truly allow our old wounds to heal so that they won’t stay with us in our present / future.
so very true and all we can do – it is not an easy process but with faith and commitment to Him we can work on making this a reality - letting go and allowing Him to lead.
We really don’t know and can’t even pretend to know cause only He has the full picture and knowledge of what is going on.
Forgiveness is such a beautiful thing and it also is so very freeing when we can truly forgive.
Thank you Andre 
1 Like
Ill be back after work, before the Church meeting.
Such beautiful answers.
Plus ill be doing part 14 tonight!
1 Like
If you asked me, what is the purpose of God.
It isn’t in what we recieve, the fruits of our service to Jesus, it is what He has helped us let go.
A person with a million dollars, while good, but is he still resentful, hurting, depressed, ect?
Same. I let go of rage though, anger is getting better. I understand.
That let go
Yeah, God renews the mind. Beautifully said.
I feel this too.
Its as if you understand the Bible to a degree already.
I’m glad you’re here, geting closer to God closes many doors.
I’m glad you’re setting boundries. While its good to help others, boundries are good and God calls for them.. because when as you wrote, God may have to give you a long rest.
Oh, man, c’mon ill say it with you!
And, again
Its definitely important, something to seek.
Indeed, Hallelujah.
I had to do a deep dive, your openness and care to God is just so good.
Im off back to work, but, so beautiful!
Non but love, Jazzz.
Wooo!
1 Like
Nothing but love my friend
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond
I would like to read and understand it completely but do feel like our scriptures have the same underlying principals and teachings
Dang - so much truth and depth here. Absolutely no one knows. Only Him and we need to have that blind faith and acceptance.
Same for me - still working on my anger. I am able to control it better but still need to work on the underlying issues that cause it to come to the surface (especially when I find myself abrupting quickly / reacting quickly to harsh words and/ or actions. of others.
EDIT - adding my step work
Step XII
- What wrongs, resentments, or secrets are “keeping you awake at night?” Would you like to get rid of them?
- My affair. Having wronged the wife and kids of the man I was seeing
- What value do you see in confessing, in coming clean of the wreckage of your past?
- I have confessed the sins but can not seem to forgive myself for this wreckage.
- As you obey God’s directions for confession, what results do you expect God to produce in your life?
- Allow me to forgive myself. Allow me to feel free of this burden as I have been punishing myself for many years. Allow me to find love and connection
- What freedom do you feel because of the words of Romans 8:1 and Romans 3:23-24? What specifically do the phrases “no condemnation” and “not guilty” mean to you?
-
Romans 8:1 Therefore there is now no condemnation [no guilty verdict, no punishment] for those who are in Christ Jesus [who believe in Him as personal Lord and Savior]. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life [which is] in Christ Jesus [the law of our new being] has set you free from the law of sin and of death.
-
Romans 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,
-
Romans 3:24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
***In reading Romans 8:1, Romans 3:23-24 I find that if I have truly repented my sins and am showing that I am walking a better path (a path towards Him) then I will be forgiven by God and welcomed into His graces.
- After you complete principle 4, you will find four areas of your life to improve. You will be able to face the truth, ease the pain, stop the blame, and start accepting God’s forgiveness. In what areas of your life will each of these four positive changes help your recovery?
Principal 4: Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God and to someone I trust
- Being weak and having an affair that I can not apologize for
- Being quick to anger. Getting upset / mad and raising my voice out of frustration.
- Trying to help everyone all the time. I usually end up helping some of the time and some times it just creates more confusion and trouble
- Being so sensitive and wearing my heart on my sleeve.
- Quick to cut people out of my life. If you hurt me twice then I will not give you a 3rd chance
- My stubbornness. I get in my head about something and it is hard for me to let go of my thought process
- My OCD compulsions. Not just with cleanliness but with daily tasks.
- Pride – I believe that I can do it all and do not need any help.
- Lust (although I believe it is intimacy that I crave but fear I don’t deserve)
- My addictions
I can be more honest with…my family and myself
I can ease my pain by…fully letting go. I still feel at times that I can control situations or emotions. It is out of my hands and I have to accept that I don’t know how things will play out and that is ok.
I can stop blaming…myself!
I can accept God’s forgiveness because of…my daily efforts of working to connect with Him and free myself of all sins, resentments, hatred and addictions.
This is something I am still working on as I don’t feel worthy of His forgiveness.
Step XIII
- In principle 4 we are asked to give our inventory three times. Who are we to confess it to and why?
- Confessing to the forum, myself, my mom and God
- Most of us find it easier to confess our wrongs to ourselves and God. We seem to have more difficulty in sharing them with another person. What is the most difficult part for you? Why?
- Shame is what kept me from sharing for so long. I knew what I was doing wrong and I did it anyways and for a very long time. I hurt people along the way who were directly and indirectly affected.
- What is your biggest fear of sharing your inventory with another person?
- Fear also kept me from sharing as I was afraid of being outcasted or judged. Now I see that only He can truly judge / punish me. I also have been punishing myself and therefore am no longer afraid of what others may or may not think
- List 3 people whom you are considering sharing your inventory. List the pros and cons of each selection. Circle your final choice.
- Mom (pros are that she is my best friend and understands my heart. She will know that I am truly making amends and know if I am not true // cons are that she is my mom and it is shameful to share such failures with her)
- Sister (pros are that she is my family and knows me. She is able to help me stay true to my corrective path // Cons are that again that I share my failures with her)
- This thread (pros that all my stuff is out in the open and i’m free of it’s stigma // cons – all my stuff is out in the open :laughing😊
- Pick a quiet location to share your inventory.
1 Like
PART XIV!! 
@JazzyS
@Butterflymoonwoman
@Jette
@Amelie
@WCan
One of the most beautiful things in life with Jesus is that He above all has not only set us free, but has given us growth, love and care in this world. But, it was Him, everyday, all day. For without him, there is nothing. It is all in vain, it is all self- because there is nothing else.
With Him for one day, feels better 1000 days without Jesus.
We as believers, understand Gods Joy, and there is simply nothing in this world, any material, any situation that can be better.
It’s hard to explain, but once you accept the Holy spirit, in Jesus name, everything dead, becomes alive.
8 months ago and before, I lived in death, I lived in decay. Even though I had been sober for 4+ years. Sobriety was nothing, compared to the joys of the Lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
…
…
Lets get to it.
- Have you released control? (If not, review principle 3: “Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.”)
- List the areas of your life that you have been able to turn over and surrender to Jesus Christ.
- List the areas of your life that you are still holding on to, attempting to control them on your own power.
-
What does the phrase “easy does it” mean to you? What area of your recovery are you attempting to rush — looking for the quick fix?
-
Explain the differences in seeing a need for change and being entirely ready to accept positive change in your recovery.
-
It is very important that you allow God to replace your character defects with positive changes. What are some of the positive changes that you could make in your recovery? In your family? In your job?
-
Sometimes it is difficult to see the positive changes that God is making in our lives. Have you been able to accept and enjoy your growth? How?
…
…
Closing
Trigger 
: A video about the ideas of Jesus talking to you.
…
2 Likes
And, if the only thing I ever recieved was Gods joy, then I couldn’t feel bitter nor resentful. Thats good enough for me.
Thank you.
Good night.
2 Likes
PART 15
@JazzyS
@Jette
@Amelie
@Butterflymoonwoman
…
Every individual, every day is a different walk with Jesus. Some days we are blessed, other days He is asking us to be guided for change, or a time of rest. Any day. Our walk with Jesus is our own. Nothing can take that away. That love, that care, that strength. But, as we see there are many distractions of this world.
In our renewing of the mind, not only do we get closer to Jesus, we realize both the distractions, the deep brokeness in our world and the need to bring Jesus as our center piece. Remember my readers. We cannot save anyone, we can’t even get our best friend whom we love dearly to get sober. It’s all in there own heart, that they find Gods love and grace.
We can only be messengers, through the word of God, in the Bible. Not our words, but His. Our words are no longer, we do not know everything. So, leave it to God, In Jesus mighty name, in His Glory
…
…
Lets get to it.
-
As you voluntarily submit to every change God wants you to make in your recovery, how does Romans 12:1-2 help your know that real, positive change through Jesus Christ is possible?
-
In principle 5 you need to ask God to help you identity the defects of character thst you need to work on first. List the changes that you want to ask God to help you work on now. Will you work on them?
-
Gods Word teaches us thst real change comes from the changing of our minds. We must take the positive action required to follow Gods direction. List the actions that you need to take to begin working on the defects of character that you listed in question 2.
Action Plan
(Read the principle 5b Verses on page 39)
Defect of character:
I neee to stop doing:
I need to start doing:
(Meditate on Gods word, ask Him for guidance.)
-
List the specific ways that you have turned from relying on your own willpower to relying on God’s will for you life.
-
What does the phrase “on day at a time” mean you and your recovery?
-
It has been stated that, “Recovery is not perfection; it is a process.” Do you agree with that? Why?
-
What does humility mean to you? How will being humble allow you to change?
…
All Victory belongs to the Lord, cast him your anxieties too.
2 Likes
Remember this, you have asked God for forgiveness. You have repented to another or in this case many.
He has forgiven you.
It’s all in bliblical text, not my word nor judgement, but in His.
I understand this deeply. In my renewing of my mind, and even in the past few years. I have learned to forgive others.
Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Now, yes the bible talks about boundries. Yes, have those too. No, is not only acceptable, but a main piece in discernment.
A relationship with another and having God as the center piece, the man with all the answers. Both submitted to His will.
Is another major idea.
For all things God created, He created in purity, for the Devil turned into choas, to keep us distracted from God.
Think about that for a moment.
I truly am greatful, for your story. As its a redemption back to God. I know it doesn’t mean much, but, I accept you.
And, we both got a lot to learn, and we will always be broken, but, to rejoice and to love and accept.
Thank you for sharing and sorry it took me this long to reply.. forgive me.
…
There is another piece I want to add. Every human has free will, we may do as we please. In our brokeness without God we go on being apart of this world. Sex, Drinking, Drugs, Gambling and other destructive behaviors. Remember, we played by our own rules.
God also isn’t going to chain us here and force us to abide by His rules. That’s not love, thats not joy nor care. If we sin and if we go into our past actions, we will feel the chains a bit more stronger, and are less likely to do it again.
Will we ever be 100%? Well no, but as we truly get closer to God we start to grow angry at our sins, some feelings hold onto us. Our past. Thats where Jesus comes in. He says, “Bring me your past, you are forgiven.” And, as we go deeper into His word, into His care, we change.
2 Likes
I am grateful for this. I am still holding fast to cutting those who harm me off but I do forgive them for what they’ve done. I do however don’t give them the opportunity to hurt me again.
So true. I do believe this but sometimes its hard to see if what’s in front of me is pure or a distraction. Working on trusting my instincts
Much love my friend. This made me cry a bit. It means more than you can ever know.
I apprecaite you taking the time to read and respond. No apologies necessary. You have nothing to be sorry about here.
Beautifully written! 
2 Likes
Does it get you closer to God or not?
Can you bring it to the light?
Is there need for repentance?
When you walk into or leave the room, do you feel better?
God will even tell you that certain things are for seasons.
Jobs, situations ect.
Some may be eventual dead ends.
Thats where the connections lays into.
2 Likes
These are all great questions and something I need to consider when I’m second guessing my gut.
so true - just have to have that faith and listen intently
2 Likes
Revisiting the content of this thread. So much to think about in the context of my own current step work with my sponsor. It feels like things are in flux daily, what’s most important to work on changes, what I can let go of, and where I’m at with God. So, I don’t have much to add except Gratitude. 
3 Likes
In what ways, how are you these days?
Thats a beautiful place to be. In my eyes, and understanding its not really what He gives, but what He can help us let go of so we can be in Gods joy a bit more.
..
Which I was in joy way to much yesterday, i forgot to upload pt 16..
I will Sunday night!
2 Likes
