I do believe connection is a basic psychological human need. But I’m not you of course. I am curious how you see your relationship with your children. Now and in the future. I don’t have children myself but I have always missed a true connection with my dad, who was a man who expressed himself, and his social heart, through his work and climbed pretty high in his line of work too. So my question comes from that perspective.
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I have a good relationship with my kids, I think. Now of course their life is shattered in pieces because of the divorce but I do my best. Many people entertain the illusion that a divorce could be for the better but my experience is that they try to justify their own selfishness when you dig a little.
I take care of my kids, I cook with them or for them every single day, we read stories, we go to exhibition, we travel… I do the homework every single night with them.
But truth be told, it’s damage control like with any divorced children.
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Then again, staying together ‘for the kids’ won’t work either. Staying together or divorcing, all you both can do is be there for them as much as you can. Thanks for doing the best you are capable of under difficult circumstances. Seems to me you’re doing what you can to form a good and deep connection with them. More than my dad ever did, that’s for sure.
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Sorry to hear that. My approach to it is that it’s a job. I do what must be done for them. Does not mean I particularly enjoy it
I think your kids do and will. Or at least appreciate it. Now or later. A lot.
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That’s the plan 
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So, in summary, what I am reading in your most recent posts:
“I continue drinking because it benefits my performance at work and my work benefits many people”
Two things come to mind:
- This is an abstinence forum and your comments are slightly at odds with what most people here aspire to and achieve.
- Have you ever considered that you might be good at what you do despite being an alcoholic, not because of it?
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Dirk, it is not what I said. At all. You try to fit my story on a narrative that seems convenient for you for some reason. It’s not the first time. So instead of having you making a bad summary, let me offer a clearer picture:
I did not get in drinking because this job. But because of relationship circonstances.
I relapsed in circonstances due to my job. I admitted it. And reset my counter. I am working on this.
YOU wanted me to quit my job. Which is really something I love doing. Probably the only thing that never failed me until now, in nearly 50y.
The explanation I gave was to illustrate what I love in this job. That’s all.
I am not good at this because of drinks. At all. Never said that. Because it is not true.
I am quite disappointed I must say by what I read in your comment. I thought this was a safe place where people could be vulnerable. Seems I was wrong. I get judged, and quite unfairly in light of the actual data I provided. and maybe my post is not what is out of touch with this community here.
I would suggest the same to anyone who shares that their job comes at the expense of their health, nothing personal.
Most jobs come at the expense of health. Talk to firefighters, police men, video game programmers, accountants, care taker, nurses, teachers, train drivers, taximen, doctors, flight attendant, mechanics, factory workers…
Those jobs carry risks, I agree. Consistently consuming too much alcohol is not a risk though, it’s a death warrant.
So you change your narrative as you go. That’s just bad faith I am not willing to entertain.
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Cleon, This post from Hoofhearted may give you some insight. A man with 4+ years of sobriety goes to a work party with hundreds of colleagues and an open bar, you won't believe what happens next!
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Now I got COVID.
Thank you! This vintage is relatively mild
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That sucks. Speedy recovery.
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Bummer. There may be a silver lining. My cravings were always diminished when I was sick. It might give you a bit of distance.
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In my 10 day covid quarantine i decided to stop drinking, been sober ever since, more than 3 years now! Covid has been good to me!!! 
Get well soon!!
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No we all don’t do that ….we put our sobriety first .For ourselves and also as an example to our children . Maybe pick up some tools of recovery and try a meeting sometime instead of using business excuses and picking up a drink . You could of got the business without an alcoholic drink, as you said your great at it . Sorry you’ve got covid wish you a speedy recovery
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