Thanks Danni 
that really means a lot to me
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I relapsed by showing my mom’s boyfriend a few videos on YouTube. I’m happy with myself that I was instantly honest to myself and called it a relapse, even though my rational mind doubts it was. There was no intention to relapse. But I need to stop seeing gray areas. They get to me and screw me over. I relapsed, nothing less, nothing more. I’m also proud that I didn’t give in to my fuck it attitude afterwards. I’ve learned that I shouldn’t show funny videos to others in social settings as it seems too risky to me and I will count it as a relapse.
Anyway, my lack of flexibility through autism is almost completely gone. My boss messaged me 20 minutes ago if I could start work in 30 minutes, so in 10 minutes now. I thought I’d have the day off. But instead I’ll work all day. I didn’t hesitate a second, I did not get upset by the change. I’m proud of my changes. Still not able to say I’m proud of myself, but that time will come.
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Yes Dutchie!!!
You adapting to the change so smoothly mega proud moment
Screen time etc for you is always going to have to be closely monitored we live in a virtual world. So don’t be so dam harsh on yourself for sharing those vids as it was an interaction with someone else, i’d be proud that ypu didn’t carry on with watching youtube because thats the big change i see from you. Owning it and learning you can’t continue watching!
Hands down well done on the screen time, i struggle and do oh so very often get lost in those dam clips, they make it addictive as it flips you to the next clip or shows a bloody suggestion grr!
I wish you would give yourself that pat on the back as you are doing so much for your recovery.
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I’m not being harsh, quite the contrary. I’m proud that I realized that it was very dangerous behaviour and decided to call it a relapse. I’ve learned something from this relapse, which rarely happens. I’m proud of that : smiley:. I don’t have a fucking clue why I’m nice to myself, but I do not mind it… at all 
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I’m stressed because I’m waiting on my results from my finals. I relapsed on TV yet again. And in all honesty, I don’t think I’m at the end of my relapse yet. I am not happy with myself, but not suicidal either, so I guess that even during a relapse, my self image is better than usual
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How did it go?
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The language finals went great, chemistry went okay too, but mathematics and physics went horrible, so those could really fuck me over.
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I keep my fingers crossed.
Don’t hate me but Disney is not to blame when subscribe them. Actually they did a good job then.
Seriously, I read that you make progress. Baby steps. If others don’t throw stones in your way, don’t do it yourself.
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Disney is in no way to blame for my relapse. That was all me. But it is annoying that the renewed a subscription after I cancelled it. It’s probably even illegal. But then again, if I’d wanted to relapse, I’d have renewed the subscription myself
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I really really like your new profile pic! 
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Thanks Olivia
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I passed my finals 
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My mom bought me all Harry potter books time to create new non-television related memories
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Hella exciting! Proud of you! 
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Congratulations! That’s huge!
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Enjoy them. I learned quite some French reading the books in French. I should actually re-read them. The movies are on TV like every week and it’s so boring. The books are better, I think. Of course you cannot ignore the characters in your head once you’ve seen the movies. That’s a bit annoying.
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I like it actually. It helps me visualize what I read. I often have that when I read a book, I can visualize the surrounding, but not the characters.
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I’m fucking done with this addiction. I hate the morning after abusing technology until 4:30 AM. I’m done with YouTube.
On a side note. During my relapse I was strong enough to tell myself not to start watching Loki. A show I was very hyped about.
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Have you started Harry Potter? The first are so thin. The last one is huge.
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I’m halfway through book 2 
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