First, Maxwell is a nickname, I’m female. 15 years ago I divorced. I was happy, no debt, own my home, mortgage well over half paid off. 3 years later, I went to a funeral of a high school friend, met up with someone I knew many years before, never kept in touch. He started to connect with me, we lived in different states. And he said everything I wanted to hear, or should I say he lied about everything. It was all BS and thinking back, there were so many red flags. I think the famiarlity and years alone, I was open.
Flash forward, we got married, It took me awhile, but started realizing, nothing he said was real. He couldn’t keep a job, he stole from me, he conned everyone. And I knew he was a drinker, but as a bonus, he was a drug addict. Within 5 years, I was in debt close to 30K and was struggling to keep my home. I drank all the time, I was miserable.
He is gone, thank God, I haven’t been able to divorce because I don’t know where he is. He illegally uses my home address because he’s being sued by several people and the IRS is after him. I’m relieved he’s gone, I’m slowly digging out of debt, my home is safe. But my drinking has turned into a daily ritual. I have always worked and am doing well at my job. But I struggle every night to not take that 1st drink after work, and I’m losing the battle. That’s why I’m here. Thank you for reading.
Wow that is a lot to go through. I’ve been blindsided many times by relationships and have been in a quite a few abusive relationships. Thank goodness I never married into anything like that. I have been married now for 18 years and I love my husband very much, but he is a high functioning alcoholic and it’s very difficult as I am trying to stay sober. I didn’t think i could make it this far. I’m not gonna lie, it was really tough in the beginning but it’s getting easier. I had to learn my triggers. I always craved that drink after work too… Alcohol controlled me. I couldn’t wait to pour a drink… Sometimes couldn’t focus on anything else and became irritable if I couldn’t get my fix. Oh I hated it. I used adaptogen drinks and herbal calming remedies to help with my first weeks of hard core craving. I also ate my dinner earlier which really helps me. I reached out here and never thought I’d make it some nights. The thing is, the physical cravings don’t actually last that long. Breath through it, scream, cry, eat, dance, play loud music and remember you will never regret waking up sober but you will always regret that first sip.
So glad you are here. It’s really hard to kick that after work drink habit, but if you find something else to occupy that time, it will really help. I always hit a meeting after work.
Welcome ! Yes. Functioning, but drinking after work was me as well. However it eventually led to NOT functioning and missing work and eventually losing my job AND landing in the Emergency Room and Hospital for 3 days. Fast forward 2 months and I now have the same job that I lost back ! Also Peace and Serenity are at the center of my life. Like @LeeHawk I also attend AA meetings right after work. I credit the program with helping me understand myself and my crazy Alcoholic thinking. Being in contact daily with others that understand me like no one else can is a game changer. I know alot of people are skeptical of AA for one reason or another but I would suggest to at least try it a couple of times with an open mind. It has saved this Alcoholic’s life. Sending lots of Hope your way !
You are in the right place here. I hope you find the support you need to get thru this difficult time in your recovery. So glad to hear your home is safe. And at least you’ve been on your own before and know what to do. You’ve got this. Just don’t drink today! Everything else will get sorted. Be good to yourself today.
