This is my life exactly. Struggling with maintaining structure, and bluffing my way through my job - I have said the same things myself, many times. “Chaotic and impulsive” - yep, exactly that.
It’s bizarre because we get kind of conditioned after years of butting up against walls at school and other highly top-down environments (bureaucratic organizations are like this too) - we get conditioned to hide ourselves, disguise ourselves.
The truth is that ADHD’s strengths - and they are many - are strengths we have in spades and they provide unique & essential depth to the human community. Read these over (and this is just a small sample):
If you want a more nuanced presentation of the unique value ADHD people bring to communities that are receptive enough to recognize it, read Delivered from Distraction by Ed Hallowell:
Read any book by Hallowell. They’re all well written and based in solid research and clinical practice.
Another good one is Smart but Stuck, by Thomas Brown, also an ADHD researcher and clinician. That book helped me gain a fuller understanding of the emotional aspect of having ADHD. (Sari Solden’s Journeys Through ADDulthood also helped me with that.) The occurrence and experience of emotion is different (sometimes dramatically different) for people with ADHD - and that is easy to misunderstand for others, especially if they’re not aware of it; it takes some mutual effort to make it understandable.
It’s unfortunate that as a child I was never diagnosed. I was put into the hall to do my school work or had cardboard blinders built around my desk to try to keep me more attentive. I couldnt never complete my work at school I had to come home to finish it where it was quiet. Then highschool happened and it was hopeless for me I had already gotten lost to addiction and escaping the mess that was my mind. I searched and search for 14 years using all different drugs all different ways it wasn’t until I did meth that I found what I was looking for… “normalcy”. So many meth addicts have undiagnosed Attention Deficit its crazy… anyways.
Now I am medicated I take Concerta Extended Release so as not to trigger my addict and its been great. The benefits for me are; less feelings of being overwhelmed, less anxiety, less procrastination, more drive to follow through with things, more drive to start difficult tasks, ability to stay on task once I start something… things like that. Oh and I sleep better, big bonus
Currently it’s all overwhelming. I called in sick today to let it sink in a bit and talk to my parents. My inner child is content I took that step. I shared a document with them that clarified the characteristics of ADD/ADHD throughout life. I’m 49 now, there are numeroues life events that can be linked. In short they recognized everyting.
I work in a corporate environment, which is clearly not working for me. But I just keep pushing through. Few weeks ago I had the thought that I had made it 1 year with this employer without dropping out . But inside I know I’m heading towards a new breakdown if this last another year. My parents really heard me (which is a first from my perspective) it really needs to change and I have to pursue something else in the near term. Irrespevtive of status, pay check etc…that seems irrelevant now.
I tried to switch earlier in life, but I now know why those attempt were fruitless. So gonna need to make a descent plan and hope treatment will help me including some medication. The later will be monitored closely, although meths are not my DOC. But I find it positive my therapist keeps my alcohol addiction in mind.
Good for you rob. It’s always one step at a time, one consult (with a relevant knowledgeable professional) at a time, one day at time.
Be gentle with yourself and remember, what matters is being present with yourself and with the people who matter to you. When you do that, the universe has a way of putting things in place.
I have ADD. Not the hyper kind, just super spacey and have trouble starting and finishing things. Also I cannot fucking read directions for some reason.
I currently take a small amount of adderrall for it.
Sometimes I wonder if that is truly being “sober.” But I am small lady, and take as much a child does. However, I know that I should be careful with it. I have built up a tolerance to it and want to increase my dose. I have also been taking more since I quit drinking. Maybe a dopamine thing? My energy levels are trash, and I work long hours, 3 jobs.
Anyone found any helpful foods or vitamins/ natural remedies?
It’s not a magic solution but it is a sensible thing that does have an impact: basic healthy eating - specifically, no or minimal processed food - helps.
I have been off and on with this but I have consistently found that the times I am eating little to no processed food are times when I am most able to stay grounded (which means, the room full of cats that is my brain is less wild). I suspect this is true for everybody, ADHD or not, but in people with ADHD it’s more apparent.
Sleep / rest is important too. It is hard for people with ADHD to get to sleep. The mind doesn’t shut off. Do what you can to help at the end of the day: a bath, herbal tea, etc etc, whatever helps you transition to sleep.
Disconnection time is important. We are highly responsive to stimuli (social spaces, busy spaces, etc), which is a unique strength but which also means we need to have time each day to be alone in a calm space. Find that, to ground yourself.
Grounding kits are helpful. @Its_me_Stella posted about hers awhile back - not sure if she was thinking ADHD when she made it but these sensory things certainly help me get out and back to reality:
Exercise helps. Get some every day, it can be yoga or running or whatever. Try to get at least 20 mins a day.
Keep exploring, keep reading. There’s so many good articles about ADHD that are based on genuine research. Here’s one:
Thank you! This happens to me about once a month. I get the coffee in the machine, pour in the water, hit the switch, and completely forget to put the mug there to catch the coffee.
It’s weird - it’s like I think “I’ll hit the switch then get the mug and that will save time” and usually it works fine but some days I just get drawn into the next thing (today it was checking my blood sugar for my diabetes) and poof! the awareness that I was getting a mug (or the awareness that I was even in the middle of something) just disappears.
I take ashwagandha and Mucuna puriens supplements. You can get them on amazon. The former helps with anxiety and the latter helps with dopamine. These are herbal so not at all the same as meds that outright mess with your brain chemistry so you’ll see an immediate seismic shift, but they help.
Haha - yes! See: you understand. Fellow ADHD people understand in a way no one else can.
I went to an ADHD conference once and it was so refreshing to be surrounded by people where I didn’t have to explain myself. I feel like that here on this thread too.
I’ve done that so many times and I don’t even have ADD! I’m following this thread b/c my son, age 14, has ADD and his executive functioning is non-existent!
This is exactly like my son! He says the noise in class bothers him, but he doesn’t want to wear noise-cancelling head phones.
I hope you all don’t mind my joining this thread to try to figure out how to help him. I know the title says “diagnosed at a later age” so I feel a little bit like a party crasher. (I’ll butt out now.)
My diagnoses (not final yet) went quitte fast after I mentioned that my son was diagnosed with ADD. She was like ow and the ball went rolling. So also interested in that part as well.
You don’t have to butt out at all! Everyone who lives or loves ADHD (in themselves or others) is welcome.
I don’t know if you’ve ever gotten an assessment done, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you had ADHD. It often runs in families. (My father for example - he’s never been assessed but I am certain he has it.) It occurs about equally across men and women, but it is more commonly formally diagnosed in men, partly because boys tend to demonstrate more disruptive behaviour in schools (whereas girls, generally, are socialized to be more compliant).
We don’t have a biological connection, so in that sense it’s like an adoption. (I used donor eggs.) I’ve hired an ADD coach for him. So far it’s helped with bringing his English grade from an F up to a C.
That’s awesome! ADHD coaches are super helpful. I have one myself, though mine is in an ADHD support group I attend (very useful ).
Awesome about the donor eggs too. My wife and I did several rounds of IVF. None were successful - which was hard but we walked through it together - and now we are working on an adoption. Life: one step at a time
. But inside I know I’m heading towards a new breakdown if this last another year. My parents really heard me (which is a first from my perspective) it really needs to change and I have to pursue something else in the near term. Irrespevtive of status, pay check etc…that seems irrelevant now.
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