Speaking as someone who is in a marriage that is in good shape and we enjoy many things together -
The arguments are not going to stop. They’ll change, but it’s not going to be all sunshine and rainbows.
My wife and I argue when one or both of us feels deeply misunderstood or unheard. And what I’ve learned is that’s part of communication. We don’t get insulting with each other - we don’t minimize or diminish the other; it’s not personal - but we don’t let our needs be ignored.
The difference in sobriety is that you’re present for the argument and really trying to understand and resolve it sincerely. Like other posters have said above, everything is better sober.
Cut the drinking out and see what happens. Turn to AA or another sobriety program to help - they’re like free personal therapy:
Resources for our recovery
Marriage therapy is very helpful if you can afford some. If not, there is still a lot you can learn in AA or other programs that applies to a marriage.