Over 2 days since last drink, woken up with blocked nose, slightly cold, hoping it’s just detox because I really dont want the cold I had a few weeks back…that was a real one that lasted 7 days, not a detox one!..I smoked a lot yesterday, like everyday I guess,.which makes it hard to go off to sleep.
I got a busy day ahead, and universe, I would like a calm day please, one thing at a time,. I’d like it smoothly to clockwork of course, but wouldn’t everybody!..I can take the humps and bumps just hate panic and stress with it!
Grateful for not looking around for the last can or few cans or thinking of ways and means to get more. Beginning of freedom?
Yes Hazy! Great feeling.
Remember the thing to do is not let life “humps and bumps” get to you. Serenity allows us to smooth out the path.
You are doing great. It’s grit and determination at first, then it becomes second nature as you reap all the benefits and trying not to self-sabotage, Well done.
Had a full on day today…I missed 2 weeks of live lectures (only one hour a week,I do rest online) and it was good to step inside lecture hall again and had loads of positive response to being back from lecturer and other students (half my age)!!..done a lot of studying,brains about to burst, excel is quite a mammoth thing to learn for maths assignment due in a week…
Very tired, ,old thoughts came in earlier this evening but I attacked with “I’m an alcoholic”…and to be honest I have too much to lose by carrying on being a functional alcoholic…I am carving a new direction career wise and that means new direction without alcohol too.
Another good day full on studying, disciplined and determined to keep on track with the course, so comes discipline to stay sober, I’ve made sure I’ve eaten at intervals so I don’t get erratic and shaky, which also is an excuse for alcohol to full the hunger hole and be numb quicker,.
I don’t crave being numb today. My face is looking a bit more like me, less swollen… alcohol takes what looks you have away for sure. Gonna get a few more hours in tonight , and get some good rest.
Fifth day nearly done with no alcohol, went on a lovely walk,we go on one most weekends, no hangover,no thinking the whole time of how shite I look and thinking constantly about when I will get the next batch of cans,I only thought just now that I didn’t think about it all day…good feeling,freedom again!.. been studying for few hours this morning… studying a bit this evening,
Looking forward to a Thai takeaway with 2/3 of my offspring, and my niece…girls night in…
@WCan Wcan- what was that link you mentioned - i want to try writing this time
It was at the end of the post , it’s a link to another thread I wrote about 2 weeks ago when I’ve hit the 60 days of sobriety and how I did manage to stay sober for those first two months. You can click on this to read it :
Have a good day!
And @Hazy it’s good to see you here.
Thank you Wcan- sorry i didn’t catch that in your post. I read the one you linked. Lots of good info - thank you for sharing! Your story really resonates with me
Had another day of freedom today…it is actually freedom, when I had thoughts of buying alcohol I retorted with ‘im an alcoholic, i won’t stop once I start.’…pet guinea pig died this morning in my arms, poor little thing,… it was old. Children and I had a little tear but dealt with it really well…lots of revision done today, got a mock exam tomorrow… really grateful for today and the freedom from alcohol. Anxiety isn’t there anymore,I’ve been pretty chill for me! (Total stress head usually)… thankyou universe!
Well done Hazy!
6 days 19hours…busy day studying again…and had a bit of time out to visit garden centre to see all the Xmas lights in stock,. lovely!..got baby bio for my houseplants too…!.. dinner done…trip to get tobacco and didn’t pick up… really grateful to be sober and not in the cycle that I knew tonight,that it would be more tomorrow then the next and the next… grateful to be sober and clear headed, dyed my hair… looking less swollen every day,even tho dark circles around eyes…must try to get to bed earlier.
8 full 24 hours since last alcohol… usual busy study study,wanted to cry at all the tasks to be done in computer workshop by next Friday…took a deep breath and just doing at my own pace,not gonna get stressed about that,got an essay to write and maths assignment to get done… grateful I am sober. Thankyou universe…
Well done! And good for you for taking a step back and grounding yourself.
Thanks @anon12657779,I really appreciate your motivational replies:hugs:…thankyou for mentioning my tag name back a couple of weeks ago,it must of been put out in the universe and brought me back to TS!
8 days and 23 hours,laughed and joked a lot today with the children, been pretty positive since 7.30am … Played a game with the two younger ones after school…aiming to give them my full attention when they are at home…turning radio down when they speak in the car…turning it up when a silly old dance tune comes on (Venga bus is coming )…!!. Glad today is over,had some uncomfortable feelings like anxiety and thought it like a test to deal with them…so went out and bought new pots for my plants,bleach for the loo, chocolate bars,for me and my eldest, …thanks Universe for supporting me on today’s journey.
Venga Boys ?
Love their old dance !!
Going back today to sobriety, thanks for your diary, it makes me remind how life is quiet and nice without this drug
Take care and good luck for studies !
The beginning of day 10, have a chemistry lecture at uni … looking forward to it,I need to revise a lot more …got an assignment to finish this afternoon and gotta take my eldest to the dentist for some fillings…she’s a bit anxious,she’s never had fillings before her ripe old age of 20 …it’s good waking up without a hangover,even though I’m pretty tired from brain work I think…I gotta start exercising again,I think it’s gonna help with energy and blow a few cobwebs away, even if it’s a few jumping jacks .