12 days 11 hours…last client yesterday thoughts crept in of buying after work,old routine…was tired after work, drove past the old buying shop, obstacle 1 done, balancing thoughts in my head of me me me, drink drink drink…then a light bulb…maybe I should buy dinner for my 2 daughters at home cos they probably haven’t had dinner yet!..so marks and sparks at the bp is the next shop on way home…2 pizzas and 2 sides and chocolate eclairs…AND a MARS BAR for me to eat right away !
…that sorted that out, got home free from booze, got to sleep free from alcohol and woke up free from alcohol 
… thanks universe, I’m feeling ya. 
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Something I learnt is that often when we start to waver it’s just that we could do with an energy boost. Water or a snack is ideal for this.
Well done. I’m proud of you.
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Had a headache for days,had to take paracetamol this morning…last night felt hopeless… difficult chemistry lecture and it makes me wanna give up… today I’m gonna focus on what I can do and get some if an essay done…wish my headache would just do one 
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Well done! Another hurdle another day sober!
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A 3 day binge and on day 1, I’m not very good at dealing with feeling uncomfortable,or feelings in general…I’m gonna keep trying to stay sober…
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12 hours and looking forward to a day free of drinking.
24 hours done,. Had a nice day at work,tho I was a bit quiet, evening in with 2 youngest, .had food and feeling more positive, grateful I have made it home 
sober .
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Woken up hangover free, grateful of that , little anxiety,was really overwhelmed last week with the amount of work I had to do,fear of failure and fear of success at the same time so drank for 3 days on it… didn’t work… work yesterday I was able to talk to my regular lovely clients and get some understanding about studying andxwith children and Christmas,that helped,I am going to get in touch with support tutor tomorrow, should of done earlier, sometimes I feel frustrated because I don’t understand things as quickly as others…all of those things had built upon my head and bad feelings…
I’m going to take it easy today…I did a lot of reading last night on some chemistry…it’s not so bad…
Today with the children,maybe a walk. Try not to get stressed,and deep breaths.
Chemistry is a great subject, I studied it later in life too… Believe me, noone knows what they’re doing!! Been in the job years now and everyone relies on looking stuff up and talking to colleagues, you don’t need to remember everything you just need an understanding of the theory. So there’s a few young upstarts in the class, believe me, they are then ones who get taken down a peg when they go into the world of work and realise they don’t actually know everything 
it’s awesome to watch! Your humility will do you good, don’t let it being you down and don’t let it be an excuse to drink. That sucks.
The drink ain’t gonna help your study. Or anxiety surrounding study. It’s going to just make that worse.
Also, in terms of feeling uncomfortable “the itch” etc!! It is WAAYY easier to just shut down the itch instantly and say no, that is so much easier than giving into it, and then have to deal with all the anxiety and self doubt that follows.
Take the path of least resistance. Don’t drink.
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Looking forward to waking up without a hangover tomorrow. … universe I really would like 30 days free from alcohol… I want to be able to live without needing to sabotage my health and body with alcohol. It is killing me… … surely now is a good time to be sober for good… please help me universe to stay sober because me myself and I is killing me.
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Feeling better this morning, last night I was very sick, I don’t want to feel like that anymore. Feeling calm but not ready to put laptop on and look at essay I need to get done. I will just do my best when I do…I have called doctors to get help for anxiety, then I can get support from student services when things get overwhelming… not very hungry yet, have cleaned up a bit. . Just wanna keep my mind clear so I stay calm.
2 days sober, I have been more sober than not this month, that I am grateful for. I got onto my essay again this evening. Grateful that I am sober today. I did an online yoga today, first time since march. Going to bed early, reading here, gonna find some video I started watching this morning on reacting… my eldest asked me what I’m doing at the weekend,I cannot think past a day at the moment. I’ll do what I need to do on the day was my reply.
Keeping calm. Gotta keep calm.
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3 days sober, a marathon day writing an essay. I enjoyed it …I did yoga day 2 on 30 day challenge. Had some anxiety and breathed thru. Grateful to be sober,. Thankyou universe for helping me through today sober.
I am mentally and physically exhausted, been listening to stuff on YouTube for past 2 hours chilling…I finished essay just before deadline at midday which has been a 3 day marathon… . No yoga today (started 30 day yoga challenge with Adrienne)…all muscles aching, including the brain. Not a bad thing, waking up my body me thinks…but slowly.! Had some anxiety,but paced a bit to get rid. Breathing… thankyou universe for another sober day.
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Wrapped all children’s presents and its a week before the eve I usually end up doing them…wow. no stress… breathe.
Good day at work, lovely clients,nice chats,it was real busy and felt a bit panicky late afternoon…not used to the busyness anymore!..,ended in dramas as announcement to lockdown one particular area,so salon closes AGAIN! After just 2 weeks open…those poor receptionists have had so much work calling, cancelling,calling rebooking, cancelling again. I’m kind of happy for the 50 + staff there tho…they can chill before and after Xmas…I became part time in October to study in the week and really glad I’m not working the conveyor belt of clients this time of year,but I felt kind of guilty this morning since they all work so hard,but glad at the end of the day that they can all relax!.. funny that 20mins in either direction everything is open…crazy times…sober times 
Woke up too early,
…head goes straight away
About studying
About the tyrannical system governing, anxious about this ‘mass testing’ they are gonna implement in secondary schools, already sent email asking what they mean by ‘mass testing’,and that I won’t agree to my son being tested if he is not ill… I do not like the words that are used,.
I will stand up to anything I do not agree with and that’s a promise to myself, I am sober so I will.
Had a cigarette, got to stop smoking very soon
Had some water
Back in bed on here ranting
Maybe need to meditate
Universe help me find peace in my head today
So I think what was bugging me was a debt I promised myself to sort out today…letter printing and filling in forms…I did it and feel better in moving forward,it was like it was blocking me… it needed doing. And now I feel better and more calm about going to do the big food shop Christmas 
food shop 
Day 1, praying today to stay sober…I am not a well human being.
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