Alcoholic fisherman in recovery

Be careful with that large monitor, some of those scenes are scary enough on a small screen! Really dramatic moments @JasonFisher!

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I’ll make sure I’m sitting down in my armed desk chair. Feet firmly planted. I will not put my coffee cup to my mouth!!! The excitement might make me spill.

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Subscribed x2. I didn’t realize I had 2 accounts :joy::fishing_pole_and_fish::fishing_pole_and_fish::fishing_pole_and_fish:

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:heart: thank you!

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I’m catching up on rest from the seven day grind.

The salmon trip was awesome! It took most of the first day to find the salmon. We caught four. The next four days we caught 25-30 per day. It was the best opener either of us had. They are worth alot! we made some money and had fun! We caught more salmon than anyone else. Highliners! That feels pretty good.

I knew skipper brought an 18 pack of beer. I had to buy it for him. He asked me to. He isn’t allowed to buy beer. Its a small town and the cops know this. This is the second time he has asked me to do this for him. He is on probation for drug and alcohol related crimes. He got divorced, went off the deep end for a while. He makes a lot of money. He gets pretty wreckless when he drinks.

Just like me.

I dont like telling someone elses story. I wont get into any details other than he had to go to prison for a couple of years. His probation is pretty serious. A non-alcoholic wouldnt even risk it.

Im only sharing this because of how it effects me, as a recovering alcoholic.

He snuck more on. I was hearing beers crack all day, every day. I had to move his duffel bag at the start of the trip. It was heavy! At the end of the trip it was light.

Three days into the trip there was still beers in in the groceries cooler. It didn’t add up. He drank six beers a night at camp and I heard at least 6 to 10 beers crack throughout the day. I smelled whiskey in the cabin a couple of times.

I spend most of my time on deck watching gear. I go up occasionally to grab a snack, drink, smokes. I could smell the whiskey.

Every day as the day progressed he got overly critical about everything I did, while he made mistakes running the gear. The salmon gear is pretty complicated and really easy to make a giant mess out of. It can take hours to fix, and cost you a days fishing. I saved a couple of rookie mistakes. He was obviously drunk. There were moments that were extremely frustrating for me.

I managed not to say anything. I Ignored his over critical comments, and still had fun.

I’m watching alcoholism progress quickly. In fifteen months I have watched him go from sober, to drinking occasionally, keeping his shit together to more and more. Its progressing fast. Its sad.

I’m watching me. That’s what I do when I think I can have a few and I’ll do it better this time.

Instead of being tempted to join him like I was scared of. I’m grateful! I feel good! Healthy! My self esteem is good. Im proud of myself. I feel like Im back on track. The exact opposite of how I felt 18 months ago. Yesterday was 18 months since my last drink.

They say the further you get away from your last drink, the closer you get to your next one. My next one feels far away. I have zero desire to drink today. I’m grateful for that!

I got amazing footage! Huge adrenaline! I saw amazing things! It was an epic adventure! My life is filled with epic fishing memories! I am blessed! I am still alive because I am sober.

18 months and one day since my final relapse! :muscle: :pray: :whale:

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That’s an awful situation that skipper has put you in. I don’t like it. Sounds like you’re between a rock and a hard place though buying beers for him an enabling his drinking. But It does sound like you have things under control. And it’s great you have no desire to drink. I hope you can get out of this situation and commercial fishing someday as you’ve mentioned. And do the photography that you love.

I can totally relate on a different level out here in Santa Monica. Going out to dinner at our favorite places while the wife orders our favorite cocktails. I guess it could be a slippery slop. But I have no desire to join in with her. I even went to the wine store with her to schlepp 6-8 bottles of wine home for her to put in the wine fridge. Again no desire to drink on my end.

Great job my friend on the salmon trip. Sounds real exciting. I can only imagine how you must be working your ass off.

And a huge congratulations on your 18 months since your FINAL relapse.
You’re fucking awesome man.
:pray:t2::heart: :fishing_pole_and_fish:

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Its sad because he is so talented. We make a great team. Most of the time he is easy and fun to work with. He gets some of that self entitled skipper attitude occasionally but overall its a good gig.

Previous employer was 100% sober for 8 years. But was the most self entitled dickhead I’ve ever met, miserable to work with hardly ever fun. He always dragged his feet on pay. He was mean and quick tempered, big and intimidating. Pretty much a mean, shitty person.

We fished tough. I loved that! He owns the biggest nicest boat on the dock.

Current gig is the 2nd nicest boat on the dock. we don’t work as hard, and we catch more. I make more money. The active alcoholic, cares about us, makes sure we get paid as soon as he does, good person, a little self entitled skipper bullshit, but tolerable.

Previous employer wouldn’t have let me film like I have been. Current employer wasn’t that supportive at first about filming, but now that he has seen it, he loves it. Hooking him up with photos of his boat like the one above doesn’t hurt my goals either. :rofl:

I’m not ready to quit yet. There’s a lot of good fishing to film this summer. There is no way I could pull off filming and working if I was drinking. Its a lot to manage.

We brought a load of crab gear home with us yesterday. His goal is to have it all home by the end of the month.

My injuries from my fall are feeling good. I didn’t hurt at all on the salmon trip. I’m stiff today from crabbing. I get a few days off because of the wind for some self care.

I think its awesome you have no desire to drink with your wife! Your awesome!

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It sounds weird but I’m really proud of you.

I just wish there was some way to talk to him about his own sobriety, it’s so sad. :cry:

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Thanks!

We talk about mine a little. I feel that the best thing I can do is live by example. We used to talk about it alot before he decided to drink again. we talked about problems alcohol has caused. We related alot on many things. It was kinda like having a meeting out on the ocean, It was cool!

After crabbing he started drinking beer again, and I went to Utah to reconnect with my kids.

Last year I wasn’t the one he wanted to go salmon fishing with. I suspect its because he knew how anti alcohol I was/am. He picked my tweaky co-worker, who would never say anything about his drinking. I was a little jealous but also knew there would be beer on the boat and wasn’t sure I was strong enough to be around it. The opportunity to see my kids opened and I went.

We both live by example to each other now. I get to see how I used to be and dont want to be ever again. He gets to see that quitting drinking isn’t the end of the world.

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Every alcoholic, wet or dry, has a message.

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It’s hard to sit back and watch that, it’s a very helpless feeling. As I was reading your post, I just got this vivid memory of what it was like, and how nasty it feels, but I couldn’t stop. For the first time, my brain goes right to the :face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting: of drinking. It seems really dangerous on a boat like that too. Glad you’re sober and able to keep any eye on things.

Aside from that. I’m over here willing to take salmon donations at any time!! I got you! :joy:

Stay strong and continue to lead by example, it’s really all you can do :hugs:

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Our next opener is on the 10th. The weather forecast isn’t good. We might not go.

I wished we all lived close enough for a salmon BBQ! :hugs:

I went into this trip with my guard up. Id rather not have to be around drinking at all. I have been working hard on recovery before the trip. I always cruise the forum when I get a moment out there.

I knew if I was tempted to join him I would have to do something else this summer. Its been the opposite. Seeing the changes a few drinks causes in a person reflects on why I choose not drinking. It makes it very unattractive.

He didn’t do the big changes while he was sober. He didn’t stay away from slippery places, people, and things. I remember we were headed out on a cod trip and he was wounded. He was whining how he hung out with a drinking buddy and took more shots than he planned. He didn’t like the hangover. He said he didn’t want to start living like that again. He didn’t make the necessary changes. Now he is right where he didn’t want to be.

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First, that is an amazing picture. The stillness of the water, moon on the horizon. Just…wow!

I was thinking what Beth said…sounds dangerous!! I understand you care for your Skipper and wish he had maintained sobriety. But he didnt. And I imagine seeing his bad behaviour and slide back into his disease is sobering for you. As you said, an example of what you dont want.

Congratulations on 18 months!!! I always enjoy what you write.

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I am loving the drone! It was the first time I brought it on a trip. It was cool to have something nice that I bought with my beer money to play with while the drinking was in my face.

At the restaurant I had fun, but didn’t hang out all night like I would have in the past. I used my drone and the sunset as my getaway card.

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It’s so sad to see when you’re in it. But ugh, whe outside of it, you just don’t want to go back!

So cool if we all lived closer, but I would eat all your salmon and then you would hate e :joy::pig:

So, I’ll be getting a drone within the next year. I think I already picked what I want. I do cityscape and storm. Unfortunately, not a lot of good storm opportunity where I live now. However, I need to get a drone pilot license where I live. Did you have to do that in Oregon?

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Huge Congratulations on 18 months, Jason!
Thank you for continuing to give us such awesome photos and videos and the stories to go along with them. I always look forward to your updates.

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In rural areas I dont. The software that flies the drone lets me know if I’m in a restricted zone.

I’ve seen that the FAA will hassle youtubers, If you have any kind of intent to make money with a drone, You need a license. I plan on getting mine. Its worth having. FAA fines get big fast., so its definitely worth it.

The DJI air2s is the drone I recently got. Its amazing and is reasonably priced, especially considering the camera that comes with it.

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Thank you! You have supported me from day one! I appreciate you so much! :hugs:

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Too funny, that’s the exact one I picked out!

I do get paid for my pics, and I’m also a Getty Contributor. A lot of my stuff is “gifted” to local businesses via Instagram and then gets picked up by local publications and Charlotte social media accounts. It’s a sideways way to get my CRE business’s name out there without being cheesy.

Another friend of mine is a photographer for a living and we’re going to go get the license together. I’m pretty close to the airport, so I won’t be able to go too high with it, 400 ft max here :pleading_face:

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Mine wont let me go above 400 feet either. Its plenty though.

You will love it!

Im out shooting tonight. Im going to see how it does with my po-dunk coastal town at night.

Its really easy to fly!

@Girlinterrupted

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