Awesome! My spouse and I are heading there in July for two weeks on a tour. It’s kind of a pre-retirement scouting trip for us. The blessings of sobriety shower all over us!
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I’m so proud of you Cjp for achieving all your goals.
I know that feeling of not being satisfied the way I wished and feeling not good enough.
But yeah working on a balance is a good work for me too.
I really love the vision quest you posted above.
The affirmations are very inspiring.
Thank you @Cjp for sharing and supporting me and everyone else 
You’re a wonderful person!
Wishing you a wonderful vacation. Have a great time 
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Awww thanks so much you guys for sharing today!
@JazzyS thanks for the praise, one day it will sink in! Until then we’ll just chat about our crazy intricacies
@adeygaga49 your comment touched my 
Yeah i started this thread to document my journey so i dont forget but also to share because reading others stories here has helped me too
@SinceIAwoke where ya scouting? Im heading to the touristy parts. Ohhh have you heard of blue zones. Its a designation for areas where people live a good quality, long life. Apparently on the west coast peninsula theres one blue zone. It Maybe magic water 
or lifestyle or genetics who knows
@happyfeet thanks so much for sharing anne balance has always been a struggle for me and ever since acknowledging im an addict it made me realize how i do alot in extremes. I look forward to reading how you are finding balance in your journey
Love you guys
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You are inspiring to watch CJ. Enjoy your trip, you definitely earned this reward.
I am also a goal girl which makes staying present hard. I always tend to look forward. Maybe make your goal, no new goal until you get back from Costa Rica?
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Holy moly apparently with the fun and excitement of vacation i only need like 6hrs of sleep. Im powered by my curiosity and desire for adventure.
I had a wonderful moment in tamarindo costa rica. Hubby and i sat in a bar, listening to live music, him drinking an orange fanta and me drinking a refreshing fresca. I had an out of body moment of perspective. I was overcome with gratitude at the realization that if i told past me 1.75yrs ago in active addiction that i would be sober, on vacation in costa rica, and having so much fun i woulnt have believed you. This is an amazing adventure. Pura vida.
1,300,000yr old guanacaste tree
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No words needed, your facial expressions tell us you’re having the time of your life. And you’re surfing! How awesomely fun is that?! You go girl!
Thank you for sharing such a special time in your life will all of us. Couldn’t be prouder of you. 
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Oh my gosh!!! This is simply amazing and beautiful to read and see!! It looks so incredibly magical and you look so relaxed and gloriously happy!! Thank you for sharing your story and joy!! Viva sobriety!!
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Random thoughts on this costs rican adventure
You never know how big a roll you play in someones story
Bimbo my surf coach
Bianco our lovely driver who talked with me on the 5hr
drive bw cities
Us in someone elses wedding photos at the base of
Arenal volcano, she asked
How powerful mother nature is and how humbling it is in the wild
How small you are in the scheme of things
Check your ego at the door and listen to your body cues
Pura vida
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I just breathed out some tension just reading this. 
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Fuckkkkk my minds not right. I dont feel at risk of drinking just dont feel like myself. My anxiety, racing thoughts, brain fog, and work stress is ALOT. but ya know what i hit 3 aa meetings this week. Tried 2 new ones…meh may go back,
Glad i hit the ladies home group tonight even though there was drama around group conscience…hey dawn if you wanted us to start reading how it works at meetings you shoulda been at the business meeting. Now we interupted our regular meeting with women bickering fuck not appropriate. Oh well. At least now i know as backup gsr i need to read into the rules of group conscience and business meetings. I think im right but the ppl pleaser in me said ok fine lets vote and get this over with. Now this shit is sinking into next weeks meeting. Ahhh wooosawww
Yeah so let go and let god. Thats a tough one especially with anxiety and control issues. Working on it. Still sober. Still greatful. Hoping for a beautiful sunny sober day tomorrow
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How goes it CJ? Is today sunnier?
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Its literally sunnier sitting on my deck with Bdog while lunch cooks itself right now. Thanks for checking up on me! Im feeling better than the day before. Im still in a very anxious manic episode but i hope it subsides soon. These cycles usually balance out in a week. I meet with my meds lady next week anyways. Exercise and sunshine fuel my soul. Plus i get some time with my mom today too.
Oh and i heard my aunt is going to try Naltrexone to quit drinking. Shes an obnoxious black out drinker. Getting called her mini-me while i was drinking was motivation for me to finally quit drinking myself. Hoping she finds some relief from her addiction
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Still on the struggle bus. Going into week two of an agitated manic state and im working on a sinus infection. Full blown mouth breather here. Tried to meditate this morning and got pissed off that they focused on breathing through the nose lol what privledge
Just need to make it to friday evening then i dont have to mask as well that im sane and have my shit together.
I feel like a complete mess with the rapid thoughts, braing fog, difficulty concentrating, fear, anxiety, memory issues. Sometimes i have to remind myself that people dont see whats going on in my brain…it kinda helps that im physically sick because now i can blame my brain fog at work on my physical illness. Idk if its a workplace stigma around mental health or self perception and fear of judgement if i “come out” as bipolar and sometimes cycle. Maybe its fear of judgment. My boss already calls people bipolar in a negative context which doesnt help.
Part of me wants to keep that private, work on minimizing my cycling with my dr, and just mask up when im going thru it. But damn is masking exhausting.
Feeling better this morning after tweeking my meds. Heres to hoping im on the mend.
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Sending you love and feel good vibes - i do hope that you are on the mend now with the med tweek. My goodness girl - going on 2 weeks is insane. I’m sorry that you are suffering with this for so long. It does suck that society can’t see mental health struggles for what they are and are so ready to give it a negative connotation.
I do hope that you are doing better now CJ - here if you need to talk 
Wow its been a minute since i checked in here. My mentaal health crisis has calmed down. Ive upped my mood stabilizer slightly and im handling stress a bit better. Hubbys car died and we had to scrap it. Stress of shopping for a car is over we put some money down and financed a 2018 honda civic. Looks pretty. I hope it lasts us a long time.
Need to find a sponsor who has time to meet on the weekends. Trying to get off early at work, pick up Boscoe, eat dinner, and meet my sponsor during the week is causing me alot of stress. I had to cancel on her wednesday because i worked up until we were supposed to meet. I feared calling her. Of course she told me its my program and it doesnt seem like my sobriety is a priority 
Im struggling to find balance. What does balance look like with AA, work, working out, chores, marriage?..just all of it.
Idk oldtimer AAs ask if youd go to any length for your sobriety and theres no saying no when asked to do service but if im being honest i dont want to subscribe to that because that wouldnt be balanced. Yes im young in my sobriety, almost 2 years, may 1st, but i dont think i need daily meetings. My goal is 2 meetings a week. If im struggling maybe hit 3. I feel like this community, working my program, hitting 2 meetings a week, and (meeting with a sponsor) should be enough rn. Now…i just need to find a sponsor who i feel comfortable with. I think id like to work the steps again.
Thats enough ramblings for now. I hope we feel a bit of serenity today
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I too cannot moderate… Only when I run out. Tried just buying “just enough” but that doesn’t work. We too like to drink together, we don’t fight, though sometimes I do say stupid shit. I don’t think there is every any going back to just having a couple and stopping.
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Its crazy the amount of energy we could spend trying to moderate and control our intake. Its a losing battle. Quitting drinking has freed my mind and spirit from the constant thought of drinks
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