I’ve started a daily mindfulness practice and I’m having a bath every other day or so. You are right, I didn’t think some of my symptoms might be related to coming off alcohol. I’ll see what the psychiatrist says tomorrow.
Yeah, my sleep worries me, but it’ll hopefully get better.
Thank you, Sassy for all your support. You have no idea how much your and everyone’s support on here means to me right now. 
This thread is becoming a little safe space, and I really need it right now.
So glad you found meds that are working for you. Hopefully, those side effects will diminish over time. More importantly, I’m really proud of your sobriety. 
Glad your feeling better and staying sober. Be nice to get a bit more rest, but if you feel like your doing good with 3 hours great. 
Thank you, Lisa! It means a lot.
@jonathanlee213 Thank you! I do need to clarify my 3 hours, it’s usually 3 hours sleep at night, then I wake up for a couple of hours, then go back to sleep for another 3 hours or so. Sometimes I sneak in a 1h nap. So… I do get the sleep, it’s just interrupted. But then again, this type schedule was normal for the Victorians, so maybe I’m on to something here 
Day… don’t actually know.
Alchohol is no longer in my thoughts, which is very weird. I don’t just refrain from drinking, I simply have no interest in it. The only time I was tempted was last week after my psychiatrist told me alcohol is a big No! But even then, I lost interest in the idea soon enough and got a coke.
Now… On to what we’re all here for, my journey into psychiatric treatment for the very lovable BPD!
The psych man cut my normal antidepressants into half as part of the taper process and the first days were brutal. Dizziness, extreme fatigue and anxiety. But the heavyness in my arms and face had gone. Now I’m pretty stable. I’ve started working out every day again and eating healthier. I’m on fire at work. And I started sleeping slightly better.
So far things are going pretty wellish.
2 days ago I was listening to Britney and crying my eyes out over how unfair having mh problems is. Now I’m watching the og Sex and City thinking how bad the remake is… Yup, I’m definitely returning to form. Morw like… getting a form. I haven’t functioned this well for so many weeks in a row in a long time.
Another day, another update.
So… I feel off. I’m almost permanently wired and tired. Despite being sober and ultra productive, I’m not really enjoying anything. Shrink tweaked my dosage and says these effects will stop eventually, but my patience is wearing thin.
However, fun fact. My lack of interest in drinking is actually currently studied with my meds. Gotta love google!
Yeah, I have a cold and I’m frustrated. My meds are helpful but side effects are grating what’s left of my nerves. Still sober tho. And… I think I may have hit 5 months off the coke.
Update: I did hit 5 months off the coke! Longest streak in over 10 years. I should feel proud of myself, but I feel neutral. I’ll celebrate with a full sugar legal coke!
5 months is amazing!!! Congratulations!! I am glad you are sober and also can understand your frustration with feeling off. I know I felt real off for some time and when meds are settling in, even more so. I hope you that full sugar legal Coke is yummy!!! 
Hi,
Your not crazy. My advice I relapsed bad off alcohol and went to detox. I was prescribed Campral which curbs alcohol cravings. Must work I found a 66of vodka I unknowingly hid and didn’t touch it or crave a drink. No side effects either. 3pills a day
So… last update on this thread.
2 months on the new meds and the side effects have finally subsided. I feel normal, whatever that means. I’m also officially a nondrinker. My interest in alcohol has literally gone down to 0 and I’ve been experimenting with different types of coffee - flat whites rock! I’ve even started working out again, 3 times a week, almost every week.
My only problem is a growing sweet tooth, but I’m trying to not go overboard.
So… yeah. I guess, the psychiatrist was right. Something is actually working and I’m beyond grateful.
Edit to add: I just realised it hasn’t been 2 months. Only about 5 weeks. To my defence, it felt longer. The side effects got pretty brutal and fucked with my time perception 
Could I like this update anymore than I already do??? I am absolutely thrilled to hear this!! You worked so hard and so long and never gave up! It wasn’t pretty or easy or fun. I am proud of you and happy for you.
Thank you so much! Your support and this forum means the world to me. It hasn’t been pretty, but I do feel like I clawed out of a very very very dark hole. I honestly didn’t think that I could.
You have a lot to be proud of!!!
This is great, I’m glad to hear it worked out!
I don’t know how to say this. I’m down and struggling with the anxiety from hell sent to me by the devil itself. These new meds have come with plenty of positives. They got me out of my depression, they stopped my interest in drinking, they increased my anxiety and made me permanently uncomfortable. By permanently uncomfortable I mean just that. I can’t sit down, lie down, stand, walk or anything without feeling extremely uncomfortable. It’s permanent. It’s there. And I’m not sure how much longer I can take it for. On top of that, my anxiety got to the point where I can’t take the dog out on my own. I’m so needy of my husband It’s almost funny.
So… yeah. My life is Sophie’s choice. Put up with it or go back down some drugged drunk dark hole.
Are those really the only options? Have you spoken to anyone medical about changing dose, changing meds, adding another med etc?
Also have you got any other tools you can lean on to soothe your anxiety, even if only temporary? A book, bath, journalling, house work, nap, yoga, meditation, music, TV show…?
I know how it feels to have that sense of permanence. But it won’t be like this forever.
When did the anxiety really ramp up for you?
I spoke to my psychiatrist a few weeks back and he’s insistent on dropping my dose for the antidepressants. He dropped it by half already. I think that’s what’s causing the discomfort and anxiety. He also keeps suggesting benzos, but I’d rather avoid them.
Anxiety has been off and on for weeks, but got to monster levels in the past few days. I can’t even take myself out for a walk by myself. I’m really sorry. But I’ve been slow sipping a beer per day to deal with the anxiety. Nothing else works. And even that brings the tiniest relief.
I’m gonna find a new doctor next month.
Well maybe a lower dose couldn’t hurt in the first instance. Although I can understand being reluctant to risk more depression symptoms!
Try not to focus on what you can’t do right now. It’s OK to need some time to rest and look after yourself when it’s difficult. Deep breaths friend 
I don’t know if I’m projecting here, but I know how frustrating it is to think you’ve found something that’s worked and then to find something else pop up. For me at least trying to let go of expectations of what ‘better’ looks like and just deal with whatever comes up in the moment seems to help.
Thank you. I’ll be ok. 
It’s off and on. Mostly on. But I’m trying really hard to get a grip of myself. I’ll be ok, plus, I’m lucky to have my better half looking after me.
