And it's goodnight to all

anon12657779 · November 25, 2020, 8:53am

We can find fault, but, conversely, we can find beauty as well.
I think a good day is when I find more of the latter!
Good to see you smashing these days bro

Dolse71 · November 25, 2020, 9:13pm

so what do we do when we are blamed for something we didn’t do and hold a resentment towards that person. AA teaches us to look at the part we played in it but what if you actually are just misunderstood and just done what you had to do. We pray for them, we treat them like a sick patient, we wish them a speedy recovery from their Ill mind and let it go. That’s my day. Be strong, Be grateful, Be forgiving.

adeygaga49 · November 25, 2020, 9:40pm

That’s a question that’s had me wondering at times so thanks for posting that Paul

Lisa07 · November 25, 2020, 10:02pm

That’s a tough situation. I been there a few times myself recently and found it difficult to let go of the resentment even after I prayed for them. I still have a lot of work to do in this department. Thank you for sharing, everything you post is so relatable.

Dolse71 · November 26, 2020, 10:20pm

Or how I like to put it. Never think that you are not important just never think you are more important.
Be strong, Be grateful.

Dolse71 · November 27, 2020, 9:42pm

I’m running out of things to say, is it bc my life is boring?.. NO its bc my life is calm and content and we’re in a world where misery sells so who wants to hear how great I’m doing? Unhappy Drunks maybe, well if you want to feel how I feel get yourself in a meeting get yourself a sponsor get yourself a big book, read it, get yourself a 12 step program and stop thinking about being sober and start doing something to stay sober and happy.
Be strong, Be grateful, Be prepared to do whatever it takes!!

Dolse71 · November 28, 2020, 10:49pm

late check in due to the boxing and it is a huge trigger for me but on this occasion I thought about a drink and smoke to chill out for the evening and TBH if I didn’t have a sponsor I would have had one or 10. If anyone questions AA just know tonight it’s the only difference that has kept me sober. Be strong, Be grateful, Be aware of the moments that remind you that your addiction is still a huge part of your life even when you think you are over it.

Hazy · November 28, 2020, 11:12pm

Good night

anon12657779 · November 29, 2020, 5:02am

Begs the question why did you watch the boxing Paul?
If you know it’s going to have that reaction?
But, well done mate.

Dolse71 · November 29, 2020, 9:39am

it’s a learning curve, if you have to cross the road to avoid a pub you are not cured of you obsession with alcohol or are not right spiritually with yourself. Boxing does not make me an alcoholic so the sooner I face up to it the better. It was a good night by the end of it TBH and a great feeling to wake up to this morning

anon12657779 · November 29, 2020, 10:00am

Oh yeah mate get all that. Totally. You know me shouldn’t let fear stop us.
Just concerned. Too early and all that mate.
But you got through so all’s good.

Dolse71 · November 29, 2020, 10:58am

I’ve woke up a new man again But thanks for your concern though bc this could have been a whole different conversation along the lines of why do I never fucking learn.

Dolse71 · November 29, 2020, 9:30pm

Slowly racking up the days and I feel a bit lonely being sober bc I want people around me to be clean and sober and share in the joy, I know all our journeys are different and thank god for that bc I wouldn’t wish some of my early recovery days on anyone but I’m a simple man with a simple plan and if it works for me it must work for anyone. If only life was that simple. Be strong be grateful and keep on believing.

Dolse71 · November 30, 2020, 9:40pm

last couple of days I’ve had more thoughts about the drinking than in ages, even had a dream about my mum and me in a pub she was drunk as usual and I could feel the fear and embarrassment I had as a kid, strange dream. Anyway im sober and happy and hear the voices but no longer take any notice. Be strong be grateful.

Dolse71 · December 1, 2020, 9:09pm

Well thank you USA and UK, bought Laura a Xmas present from US but wasn’t allowed it until I paid customs duty on it, it’s gold but TBH looked like plastic so sent it back to US had to pay more customs duty. so nearly £50 later and no Xmas present, socks and smellies again then. Anyway sober as hell and life is still good. Be strong be grateful.

Dolse71 · December 2, 2020, 9:50pm

Nice that the shops were open and could visit somewhere for a change and do some retail therapy. Be strong be grateful

Dolse71 · December 2, 2020, 11:32pm

NOTE TO SELF - You can look at the world today in any form you want, you can judge other people in any way you feel fit so why do so many only choose to see the negative in everything. That person you find annoying wants to be happy and have a peaceful day just like you, that dog barking next door that’s driving you crazy is in need of food or love or is in fear or protecting the people that care for it. The person who pushed in front of you in the queue who you think is bad mannered, has anyone done anything to her to give her reason to be polite and know any different. It’s not our place to be the judge and jury of the world all we can do is offer kindness, patience and understanding in the hope that it is passed on.

Dolse71 · December 3, 2020, 10:40pm

Spent the night in drug addicts anonymous bc my AA sponsor told me to, I’ve been drinking over 30 years and i am 2 months sober and 2 months is the same amount of time I’ve not had any drugs of any type. I considered a drug addict someone who took coke everyday or pills or heroin bc I know I am not addicted to any of these like I’m not addicted to speed, acid, ecstacy, mushrooms, mdna, weed etc but I’ve took all these drugs on any given day depending on what’s on offer but it was always fun so to me it was not a problem. Turns out you don’t have to have a drug problem to be a drug addict. Years I’ve spent concentrating on alcohol and had blinkers on to everything else. Tonight was the first time I’ve ever admitted I’m a drug addict and ever really meant it. On the bright side the 12 steps program is a me solution and not a substance solution so I’m still happy joyous and free just a bit shocked at my own ignorance. I’m really not as clever as I thought I was. Be strong be grateful be open to the possibility you still might not know yourself yet.

Dolse71 · December 4, 2020, 9:45pm

brilliant day Am I surprised? No, its a simple concept, don’t put a drink to your lips and think of others before yourself. Don’t be greedy or hold on to resentments. Do look for the beauty in everything bc it is there.All sounds so easy with a clear head and spiritual calmness but you don’t get this way by accident. You need a daily plan a program if you like and you need to stick to it like your life depends on it bc it does. Today was such a nice day that my brain told me it could get even better with a drink and some drugs and in the past that thought alone would have been enough to fuck it all up but now it’s just a lie that I’ve heard one too many times. Thank you God for thy wisdom and thank you AA for my daily reprieve.
Be strong, Be grateful and for once in your life be kind to yourself.

Dolse71 · December 5, 2020, 10:18pm

Really strange dream last night and I loved it, I was in a monastery with a load of Buddhist monks and they had 2 boxes, one had something in it which was absolutely amazing but I could only have a little of whatever it was and the other had something not as good but I could have as much as I wanted. I could only choose to open one box.
I think it was some kind of test so I choose to open neither. When asked why I told them I’ve the mind of an addict and I would never choose to have a little of anything and I’m not going to open the other bc why would I want an endless supply of something that I don’t know what it is, I obviously don’t need it. Very cryptic dream. Be strong be grateful.