Awww man! I missed your evening greeting. I haven’t been online the last 3 hrs. Hope you are resting well friend. 
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Did alright. Was sat close to where they keep all the liquor and did just fine until I saw an employee pour a big glass of chardonnay. Got a twinge in my mouth but just quickly diverted my eyes and took a big drink of my diet soda. Could have been worse. I really like having my hands/nails cleaned up and trim. Satisfies my OCD bit so it was worth a little bit of discomfort. 
You’re up late… Everything ok?
I know it very well. Were you the one who told me about Simple Habit? I love that meditation app. Maybe give it a try? Hope you can rest soon. I’m about to start Living With Yourself on Netflix.
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Can I live with yourself aswell? 
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Of course @anon13078412! The more the merrier… But seriously. Everyone has talked about how good this series is so I’m giving it a go.
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Your forgiven, I have nothing to say today but I promised myself that I would write something everyday just to look back at one day.
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Thank you for forgiving me. I think it’s great that you are keeping your promise to yourself to write something every day. That shows commitment. I’d notice if you didn’t check in. Keep stacking those days up friend. Every single day is a win. You’re winning. 
Day 0. Easiest one I have ever wrote. You are never out of the woods, you are never safe, you will always think you can drink, I am not able to do this alone and AA is getting ever closer. AA is a huge hurdle for me. You MUST reach out on here as soon as possible, The people you love the most may well be your worst enemy when it comes to addiction, but don’t ever blame them for your own mistakes. The hardest person to convince of the truth is yourself, it’s NEVER OK to drink. It serves no purpose to my life so why do I surcome to its needs. I must get to 37 days straight to beat my best, I must. Be strong.
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Thanks for sharing Paul.
Sorry to hear about your reset.
I can’t do this alone either. It’s okay to reach out for help. Nothing wrong with going to AA. You have our blessing. Whatever tools that you need to live a better, sober life. You do that. Because we, at times, do lack the strength to do this on our own. I lose clarity a lot. And if it wasn’t for all the help I’m getting, I wouldn’t stand a chance.
I, myself, am done with trying to be strong. Done with trying to have it all together. Done with thinking I know what to do. Done with thinking that I’m stable.
Because I’m not. I’ve got to get it in my thick skull that my sobriety is very delicate and dependent upon the grace of God and the help He provides me via all the people He sets in my path.
But you don’t give up, never. you’ll pull through this with help. We love you, man! We got your back.
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Cheers you don’t say alot to me but you always say enough, thanks for your support. This ain’t as easy as I thought it was gonna be. I don’t even have a binge to the point of collapse but I would prefer not to have any. One drink 99% of the time leads to months, if not years of trying to stop again. This is what scares me…
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Hi friend. Glad you haven’t given up. Not sure why AA is a huge hurdle for you (and I don’t have to know) but it’s been a source of encouragement for me & I think it could do the same for you. You could try one meeting and just see if it’s a fit. It’s not like going to one meeting declares you to be a member for life. No matter what you decide regarding AA I hope you don’t give up on yourself and you keep letting us help you however we can. I know I can’t stop drinking on my own and I’m not strong enough. Admitting that I needed help was hard but necessary. If that’s what you need to do, there’s no shame in it. Nothing but love and grace here for ya.
Man, I can so relate to this in my addiction. Once I start, I don’t stop. That scares me too.
During my last relapse, I was MIA from TS for over 2 months. The one before that, I was MIA for about 18 months. So you’re better than me in that area.
But don’t you get any ideas! Stick with us! You’re way too important here.
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This is what I love about being on here someone can always relate to you. It’s a case of brain washing yourself with the advice. Unfortunately the ego says do what you want. My ego never makes me get out the bed and go running or stop eating sweets or enjoy life without over thinking every god dam thing.
Ran out of likes.
I see my ego (the addict) like a 4 year old kid that’s twice as big as I am.
He doesn’t know any better. He thinks he’s looking out for my best interests. He’s simply wrong, sincere, but still wrong. Can’t fight him for too long. Otherwise, he’ll kick my butt. He’s a lot more powerful than me.
With help, I can gently bring my whole self back to my senses. Reassure my ego that although this is unfamiliar territory, it’s still a better direction.
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What a day and it’s far from over, gave myself a good talking to, went and sat in a church, went into the country, did day one of the 30 day experiment, going to organise an AA meeting for Tuesday. Not only have I not continued to drink after yesterday I’ve also not smoked anything at all. So far so good. I’m retraining my mind to bite down and sit it out, I don’t care how hard this is going to get im fed up going round in circles and it must stop.
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I’m out of likes but that’s amazing Paul. Very proud of you 
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That’s awesome Paul! Put it behind you and move forward. Keep up the hard work.
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going to fireworks display tonight, I must keep active, normally my home is my castle but I gotta get out and do anything instead of drink and smoke. It’s good I’ve started day one experiment on day one sober, I’ve also got a to do list November calender someone sent me on here, today is a music day but not even got that far yet, busy being normal for a change. Lovin the new profile pic, I think I fancy you, oops I was only meant to think that. 
, you will never get between me and @anon12657779 you know that.
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Cheers dude, here we go again.
Ahahaha you’re a hoot !! I’m about to watch a movie then make an easy dinner. You go get busy I hope you enjoy the alcohol experiment
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