Being grateful is a beautiful way to live Paul. 
Just keep going one day at a time. Iām impressed with your determination this time. Youāre learning from the past and pressing onward. Big hugs to you!
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Today was a day of learning and loving. If you canāt be nice to people then donāt be anything to them.
Grateful to be sober.
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Goodnight sweet friend 
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I could be a while, you know how it is. Thank you all the same though. 
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I know, I know 
Itās a crap shoot with you 
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I donāt have the cure, I donāt have the answers, I donāt have the intelligence to explain what you need to hear but after the last 19 days of wanting to drink I do have a belief that living and breathing your sobriety is the way to get through your early days. You gotta immerse yourself so deeply into your addiction with any tool you can get your hands on until your sick of the word, sick of the sight of the next line in a book that youāve read over a hundred times, sick of everyone talking in meetings, sick of the motivational videos, sick of the prayers. Because for me itās made me sick of the sight of alcohol and drugs. How can you use something that you become to hate. I want it but I hate it so much for making me live like this right now that I canāt give it the satisfaction of making me go through all this again. I canāt return for the fear of never finding my way back. So tonight I go to bed sober because Iāve run out of other choices, there is nowhere left to go except forward, Iāve used up all the other options in life, all the other escape routes, Iām just left with a shell of a man who is unsure of who he is but now I get to choose what to replace that emptiness with now I get to change the pain for hope and the hate of myself for love. Now I get to go to sleep sober. Be strong.
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Yes, and thatās all that matters @Dolse71 when itās all said and done and at the end of the day.
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Well well well, a day at a time is OK but I felt that shit yesterday that the only thing that kept me going was knowing that tommorow had to be better, I wasnāt wrong. Woke up a new man this morning and no looking back. Going to bed sober and happy. Be strong.
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As always itās good to see a sober post from you dear. 
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hey shouldnāt you be having a romantic evening. 
Thatāll happen next week. Weāre taking a trip to the mountains starting next Thursday. For tonight itās just a regular evening. 
What can I say. Weāre not comfortable going out to a restaurant. And heās actually working late tonight. Itās all good.
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Have fun Cristel; that sounds like a great getaway!
Today I searched the house high and low for alcohol bc somewhere there are 8 cans of cider Laura has kept but hidden and bc I let things get to me that are really none of my business as soon as she went out I was like one of those search dogs. I couldnāt find it so I was obviously not meant to drink today. So 3 weeks no alcohol and 1 week no weed and still no happier about it but always grateful at the end of the day. Be strong and wish you all the very best.
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I think you might be a teeny weeny bit happy about it Paul no matter what you say 
Goodnight my friend
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That be me
Itās hard, and you donāt need to be happy about it. As long as you are staying sober, and as you wrote youāre always grateful for it in the end of the day. Thatās a good reason to keep going.
Iām not the one to give advice here to I raided my own house ones yesterday eve after just about anything to use, and once again this night when no one was awake,desperate to find whatever I could use. Luckily there was nothing, and today Iām going to work out a plan for when it happens again, because I know that if I find something in one of those raids Iām going to use it. I hope you feel better today, and that youāll be able to feel happy about your sobriety soon.
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Thank you Iām sure it will come, I donāt mind too much not being ecstatic Iām sober bc Iāve quit before and 90% of the time the reason I started again was bc I was overly happy and thatās dangerous to me bc I get my party head on. If I get comfortable in sobriety I think Iām cured and can have have a few drinks, it never ends well. So a little bit of a daily reminder might not be a bad thing. its going to be a long day today though bc normally when I open my eyes I do a prayer but today at 7 am I opened my eyes and thought mmmmm a beer would be nice 
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I feel you, believe me. I donāt pray, Iāll stay far away from God, Jesus or any kind of prayers. And all I could think about yesterday, when I woke up today, (and still) is that I need something to take away the feelings, the dreams and the flashbacks. The former drugs doesnāt seem to far away at this time l, and to me thatās more scary than drinking. Itās not good, not at all, but we can conquer this feeling. Weāve come this far, and Iāve got faith that we can go through this as well.
Weāre all here if you need us today, I might neither be helpful or come with great advice but Iām here to at least listen if you need it.
I wish you the best of luck today, stay strong 
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