Lately Ive found it hard to stay motivated to maintain sobriety. I mean I will be super motivated and telling myself that Im stronger than this. Then Ill go to the gym or go shopping or some slightly annoying situation will happen and like dr jykell and mr hyde I flip the script and I feel powerless. Any advice for getting through the hyde moments?
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You gotta work your sobriety everyday my friend. You cannot just simply beat alcohol addiction with willpower AND be happy. Through a sober community youāll find new tools and tips that may help you. So like Chris said come here, check in, read. Iāve been sober for over 1,000 days now and Ive come here for every single one of them. Best wishes to you
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Iām going through the same thing right now. Anyone ever have the urge to drink because they have absolutely nothing to do? I mean I already did some work this morning and now a ball game is coming on and I donāt have to get up tomorrow and my mind started drifting there. In other words there is no particular trigger because it is nothing but free time
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Sure didā¦ Iād go on a long walk and listen to the Shair podcast or something like it or Iād get in the gym and lift weights for endorphins 
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Everything pissed me off in early sobriety and made me want to drink,
The grass is green I want to drink, the sky is blue I want to drink.
Itās part of that mental obsession, we are so connected to alcohol that we try to use other outside forces as a reason to drink
The good news it does get easier.
For me in the beginning boredom was a factor, I was in a new location with new people I didnāt know and some I really didnāt want to know only to find myself isolating it encouraged me to go to meetings and find hope in other avenues, I started working out again, I started playing music again, riding bikes. Things I always loved to do but was always to drunk to do. And the best part about it, at the end of it I felt better. I felt accomplished and I wasnāt waking up the next day feeling like death, facing the embarrassment of my last night conversations that led to some wtf did I say moments
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This. Right here. Is a great first step. I know you donāt think so, but having this realization will allow to work on your sobriety. Without even knowing it, youāve completed the first step.
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If you woke up with a hangover and said ānever againā only to drink 2 days laterā¦ you might be an alcoholic! - Jeff Foxworthy, probably.
Hangovers used to motivate me to stay sober, for about 4 days; max. It wasnāt until I changed my relationship with alcohol that I was able to achieve long term sobriety. Sometimes, you got to answer the question, what good things has alcohol provided?
Hereās a little more on the topic: Change your Relationship with Alcohol
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I should have done that it wouldāve been healthy but I went for tacos instead but I did not drink
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Tacos for the win 
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Some good advise hereā¦
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I am also in early sobriety. I have 11 days today and just cant do this anymore. This disease has put me through hell and destroyed everything around me
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I have a podcast list, Rachel Hart has brilliant website/podcast thats been amazing for me, movies, info and a couple of friendās who i check in to keep me reminded of why im doing this. Ive journalled most days for around a 18 months and was honest about the pain, shame and convincing excuses around lapse and relapsing or just plain bingeing.
I re read these entries and it helps me clear my brain of the bs ,also and most powerful are the entries of how patches of sobriety are. Its never feeling better for me as first 3 weeks i get horrible lethargy, headaches and brain fog plus poop 
alot so i have to find motivation else where.
The biggest motivator is boundaries. Saying NO to things - not because im either racked with shame because im terrified people will know im an alcoholic, or avoiding because it will interfere with my planned binge ir being hungover/sick because ive been drinking everyday Or people pleasing because i feel like such a terrible human because im secretly an alcoholic .
I can say NO because its a choice, i back my own needs.
Im also motivated by YES, to being able to do stuff. Weirdly i still enjpy stuff alcohol free but my brain is still a bit bewildered by this.
Ive tried and retried sobriety and this time i want it to stick as the mental gymnastics is exhausting and so repetitive
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Welcome Gytha!
Yes, after so many years ( in my case) of training my brain that fun can only be had under the influence it took quite a while that the truth is different. Iām glad you came to TalkingSober as this sobriety stuff is done together. Canāt do it alone and strength in numbers. Hang around, learn how this forum works, interact, share, support, get supported, learn! Helped me so much early on, I can honestly say this place has changed my life. Anyway, welcome again and hope to see you around. All success Nanny!
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When I was growing up, I had this friend.
My friendās parents had split up and lived apart. His Dad was a bit of a waster and used to take him at the weekend.
On Monday, my friend would come to school and tell us about all the things his Dad had promised him.
He was going to get the latest games console, they were going to go to a theme park, they were going to go on this incredible holiday.
They were all empty promises. None of it happened. My friend eventually came to see his Dad for the loser he was and cut him out of his life.
When I am struggling with maintaining sobriety, I picture alcohol as being like my friendās loser Dad. Booze promises everything, but never delivers.
Booze will speak to me and tell me that we are going to have fun, that I am going to have everything I dreamed of, that its the gateway to the good time Iām craving.
People on the outside, looking in, would think I was delusional - that booze will never make good on its promise because it never has before.
The truth is that addiction lies to you and when you give into it, you wake up feeling like a suckerā¦ not able to believe that you fell for those lies again.
So I guess what I am saying is, donāt let it take you for a fool. Play the tape forward, you know where it ends upā¦ it ends the same way it always does, so its not even worth entertaining the temptation.
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Like the Gytha nod!
Its all those wee bits that are so revolutionary! I found leaning in and exploring whats behind the convincing excuses or beliefs is key for me. Drinking was my way of having " self time" or shutting my brain down but historically that i havent updated the internalised belief. Dont get me wrong i do heaps of non booze stuff that i love and that has also been the problem or way ive justified my alcoholism.
" yeah but you have a great careerā¦ you do cool stuffā¦ have friends/family ā¦ exercise blah blah" . The effort it takes to maintain all that is ridiculous and a loop.
Finding having an annonymous space to share out loud the insanity is powerful,reading others experiences is normalising and breaking the secrecy and shame. Early days but ive overcome bulimia years ago its alcohols turn now
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Iām only at 4 days right now, but I once managed 6 months and a couple of things spring to mind which worked for me at the time:
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I said thank you every day for another sober day. Almost like a little mantra either at the beginning or the end of the day, or both. At the beginning it set my intention for the new day, or at the end I expressed my gratitude for having achieved it.
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Viewing all alcohol as poison, because thatās what it is. I didnāt see a bottle of [insert generic brand of alcohol here] I saw poison. I thought of it as poison and how it would be toxic to my body, my brain and my life.
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If you are ever struggling at an event, like a wedding, a party, anything like thatā¦just excuse yourself and go to the toilet. Take 5 minutes or however long you need to just breathe, scroll your phone or come on this website. Thereās no social pressure when you lock that door and give yourself some alone time. Also, if youāre feeling uncomfortable then there is absolutely no shame in deciding to go home.
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Not sure if anything I can say that can add to the already good advice youāve received. I have a couple of thoughts that have got me through some cravings. One is maybe a bit fatalistic to share, and may not be for everyone.
but the other is āone day, or day oneā we get to choose. Initially it was a mantra to start. Now i see it as take it one day at a time or end up on day one again
Late to the party as Iāve just signed on. Great suggestions @Spidey. Love the morning and evening simple gratitude practice. Iām 19 days in and apprehensive about several upcoming family gatherings/holidays. This may just be just the place to find a hand to hold during the toughest times. Youāve got this!
At first it all seems pointless but the more time you get under your belt the more things start coming together I promise. Just hang in there it def does get better and is worth it. Just try and keep busy. Stay grateful. Every day is a blessing! Good luck
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Hey @Meems59! I was at 4 days when I posted that advice. Iām now at 258 days/8 months, which broke my previous record and I have no intention of going back. On this occasion Iāve also participated in the 100 day challenge thread on this site, give it a go! Itās really satisfying ticking off the days and completing a chart.
Given you have some family events coming up, just remember that point of being able to take yourself away from a situation even for just a few minutes, to relieve the pressure of feeling like you have to ājoin inā. Take yourself to the bathroom and have a breather, go for a walk, ācall it a nightā and go to bed if you like and binge Netflix or read a book. Do what YOU want to do, not what you other people want you to or think you should do.
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