My son isn’t choosing to act effeminate on purpose imo. My son is just being himself. He’s “done it” naturally since as long as I can remember.
Fye… I get it, don’t worry about the long story unless you want, he is lucky to have you in his corner.
That’s my point… Being effeminate doesn’t mean gay and vice versa. There is some overlap for the reasons I mentioned.
Gotcha. I hear you. He’s being picked on for “acting like a girl”… gay comments thrown around at him…its just brutal to be a momma bear and know peeps r being ugly 2 your baby regardless of why. I agree about who knows re: sexuality. I just want to have his back n be educated about things to best parent my kiddos. I also dont wanna be numb n drunk as a response to things/stress anymore.
I have to respectfully disagree with the idea that some gay men choose to be effeminate. I’m sure some kind of slip further into it because of their social environment but a lot just are that way. I don’t have kids of my own but I’ve worked at my diner for close to 16 years and in some ways helped to raise a bunch of kids. There are two boys I’ve known since a young age, both who started acting effeminate on their own as they grew. They are not related and I’m fairly certain they didn’t know each other. I know both their families well. One turned out super gay and the other, well, I’m not sure how he associates. I never saw anything in the gay boy’s family or schooling that would effect his behavior. A ten year old in a Jewish private school surely would not “choose” to act this way. He got a lot of shit for it as did his family. It’s just who he is. We all knew since he was about 8 that he was probably gay. Haha, he is currently in grad school for theater.
Sorry, I felt I needed to make this point because fighting ignorance means showing/seeing all sides.
It’s called code switching. However subconscious, playing up the camp among other gay men. Nothing about liking other men makes you behave effeminately.
I agree with the last sentence completely. But I think that acting effeminate is just the way some men are. I don’t think it’s a choice or social grooming. I’ve acted like a tomboy since I was a tiny little person. It’s who I am. I’m also gay. The two things are not connected. They make sense together, but they are different parts of me.
I now know buddy. Congrats on the 100 mate
Hi! I’m a nonbinary trans person here recovering from alcohol. Tbh I was worried about it being a mostly cishet environment here but it makes sense that everybody has these problems lol
Hey, welcome to our crazy little sandbox! All the kids here are great!
These divisions are so arbitrary. Everyone is gender non-conforming in some way. Everyone is in some unique spot on the sexual spectrum. People care much less about one’s personal life than you may think.
@ORGANICSAMANTHA you might find some people to chat to in this topic, I’m not sure who all is still active but you can flick through the profiles.
Feel free to message me for any support
I just read through it and many are still active. I will say, and I think Syracuse is pretty good on this front, that my LGTBQ friends don’t get treated any differently at meetings than anyone else. Also, if they did the person treating them different would be dealt with. We do have LGBTQ meetings, but the reason we don’t have more is bc we don’t need them. Both of my home groups have a very strong LGTBQ presence.
My group is pretty cool, some minor homophobic comments at times but people are human and are entitled to their own opinion I guess.
The irony is they usually make a joke that a gay man might be interested in them and I can safely guarantee that most gay men wouldn’t go near them if they were the last man on earth
Quick story. I was working with a newcomer not long ago. A 40 year oldo marine from Tennessee. He was doing what I suggested and calling or texting at least 3 other alcoholics a day. Well one of those text was my friend Richy. Richy happens to be gay.
Anyways, the new guy was old school. It took him a bit to get past all the holding hands and hugging that went on at meetings. Not really in a bad way, he was just a little uncomfortable with it.
So one day he was kind of flustered and I asked what was wrong. He said Richy texted him smiley face emojis. I said, annnnnnd?? He was like “I don’t roll like that. It’s cool if he does, but I don’t”
In my head I was like, do I really have to explain this to a grown up man. Ha. So I explained to him first off, that’s how people text these days. You will get emoji text from dudes. It’s all good.
Next I explained that gay dudes ain’t about fucking straight dudes. I’m like dude, it’s Richy. He’s cool as fuck and he’s not trying to get with you. He’s just being your friend and that’s very good for you. It makes your small world a little bigger.
The new guy got it for sure. He did thank me. Now we joke that I “enlightened” him😉
Ah, um. I know some folks have an issue with the A area, but I’m aro ace. No swinging in either direction, but the way I dress makes people assume I’m a lesbian or a trans dude which is super funny to me. So hi.
Aromantic asexual transgender male here.
Here I am. Young mum who would love a female partner. I wish for her sooo much. For someone to be by my side.
Not sure why the thread got bumped but yes plenty of LGBT on the forum
It’s probably a good thread to have bumped up regularly to help LGTBQ folks find connectivity and to feel less alone.