I hate when I get like this. I don’t want to go anywhere but I don’t want to stay home. I don’t want to do anything but I’m bored. I feel lonely but I don’t want to see anyone, I get depressed but there’s nothing to be depressed about.
Probably you are smart and have high self awareness. You go through feelings and start analysing. I would say even tho you don’t want, go and take a long walk (and repeat daily) and see how it works.
Welcome to the club. You are definitely NOT alone with this feeling
I think most people experience this “not fish not flesh” feeling as we call it in German at some times.
The good news is: It will pass and you can help it pass a bit more quickly.
My goto when I’m in a funk is DOING. Not thinking, oh boy for sure not searching for any motivation, at best not thinking, just doing. Anything. From a walk to chores to tidying the flat / house / car / garden / closet, my personal favourite is deep cleaning the toilet. Helps immediately to feel fresh, powerful and happy.
Sending you activating vibes and smiles
Yesterday I spent all day at home, left my bedroom to use the bathroom or get food. Realised that I was in a funk as you described and didn’t want to waste the rest of the weekend. So before I went to bed last night I made a “to do list” for today. I put on even the most basic of tasks (shower, brush teeth…) so I can complete things easily and tick them off to give myself a sense of achievement. I also put on more useful things such as going for a walk that I’ll feel more able and keen to do once I’ve got the ball rolling with my basic tasks.
Might not work for everyone but by staying really small and basic I can trick myself into working up to bigger things.
Hey Cynthia! Sounds like me barely a couple of weeks ago. It’s been on and off but now, instead of my life mainly being subconscious and pessimistic with occasional conscious and usually externally induced optimistic moments (the further back I look) - I’d say it’s now swung to the exact opposite. Start small… Try to discipline yourself to do just one small/short productive thing for a start. Or even just 10 seconds of it, as small/short as you need. A few things that help me: browse and watch a bunch of youtube videos on your specific situation/feelings when they arise (it shows you care and want to learn how to tackle it); brainstorm your ‘ideal’ future self and life, what might they (you ) do or say to you right now?; who are you and what were you born for Cynthia? Your short, special little spark of existence, life and consciousness on this abundant earth in this mysterious ‘universe’…? Nothing lasts forever. What is it you truly value and desire deep down? What did you join this community for…? Challenge your comfort zone, even if it’s just one thought or little act at a time. Because new thoughts rewire the brain one neural connection at a time. Notice when you feel like that and ask yourself why do I feel like this? And it’s not because you’re an alien… What triggered it? Sleep? Diet? Cravings? Stress? Unresolved trauma? Then try to work on them one step at a time… Meditate I know it might sound difficult if you’re not familiar with it, but it’s simply disciplining your mind to focus it’s valuable time and energy on the present moment, even if you start off with short meditations, it’s about commitment to wanting better. I posted this mindfulness technique only recently but it might help you too… just relax and take a look around you for a moment… What are 5 things you can see? …What are 4 things you can feel? …What are 3 things you can hear? …What are 2 things you can smell? …Name 1 good thing about yourself? (there’s no right or wrong way, you can take as much time or be as broad or specific as you like) It’s just about bringing your senses to appreciate the present moment which helps foster clarity… Consider exercise Again, start as small as you like or need - generally you’ll find that once you’ve started, the ball is much, much easier to roll - the initiative is what counts here. Exercise gives off dopamine. This next one may or may not be for you… but one way I challenge myself is to start my showers cold and try to control how I react, meanwhile it’s almost normal tbh haha. Your daily basics, i.e your sleep, diet and hygiene, are a good place to start… Maybe instead of driving for shopping, try walking there. Maybe instead of ordering food, try preparing it yourself (even if it’s simple but requires a bit of chopping, cooking/baking) It’s the little things that count And remind yourself that you’re part of something much bigger! You’re incredibly special, you know that? Lucky, intelligent, capable, unique… All it takes is to learn to embrace discomfort, one small step at a time, odaat. …until one day the uncomfortable actually kinda just feels normal Hope this helps, we’re here for you too ey, stay sober, strong and above all: mindful
This is how I have felt 24/7 for years. I have anxiety and depression and that is exactly how I would describe my feelings and after recently kicking alcohol and drugs it’s become worse but I feel more physically healthy
I feel this way 95% of my life!
Sounds good. TY
Thank you. I’m glad I’m not the only one experiencing this. I will definitely get up today and get out of the house.
Yes!!! Absolutely. I too, have to trick myself into doing tasks at times. Try turning on the television to your favorite show. When the commercials come on wash a few dishes or pick up a few things and put them away. Before you know it you will actually accomplish some or all your household chores.
This will definitely get me out of my comfort zone. I will have to start off small as you suggested. I think I will journal this new journey. Thanks so much!
Oh dear!!! I don’t want to feel like this 24/7. Please read the suggestions people sent me. They might help you as well. This group is here for you. Me as well. Please reach out to us. Even if it’s just to vent. I will listen.
I’m sorry to hear that. Please reach out to the group/me. We’re here to support and encourage one another. People sent me some really good suggestions that I’m willing to try. Perhaps you can read them and try them out also. We’re here for you
Thank you very much
I know that feeling, or something similar. I used to “erase” it / mask it in my addiction behaviour. I’m not sure what to “do” with it, but I guess it’s kind of like gray weather and I’m the tree waiting for some sunshine (anyway that’s how I experience it). Sometimes the gray times are long
But… Do you get through it without a drink or drug? How long does it last?
Yes!!!
If your are female are you keeping track of your cycle?
I use a free app called clue. It has really helped me to correlate the lazy and bored but not wanting to do anything feelings with certain parts of the cycle.
It’s doesn’t always work but sometimes I can relax into it and just rest.
Other times is hard! Like this weekend now I’ve been restless and wanting things but also too lazy to do anything. I’m not sure if the answer. But your are definitely not alone!! Maybe social media is the cause! Seeing all this hyped up stuff we’re you get a feeling of FOMO
Thank you
Okay. Thank you
I haven’t much in the past, before recovery. In my recovery, yes I have. I achieve it by working the steps of my program. Personally I have chosen a twelve-step program, and the psychology of it - the daily meditation, the meetings and friends and community and mutual support, the psychological work involved in making progress through the steps (for me I find step 4 especially valuable; I do some of that reflection in my journaling almost daily) - all that psychological effort pays off with resilience that I’ve developed over time. I am not alone and I will never be alone interpersonally or, more deeply, in my mind and heart.
I can’t plan this. I look at it more like exercise. If I’m going to climb a mountain or do an extended hiking trip, or if I’m going to scale the stairs in a tall building, I have to train. That training helps me prepare for the climb, but it has other effects too, based on choices I make as part of the training: it improves my diet and my body strength and resilience; it improves my psychological state of mind.
24 hours. It’s always 24 hours. I never plan any recovery stuff more than 24 hours. That’s the horizon of my existence: what am I doing today?
I have Zoom meetings programmed in my calendar on my phone - 3 meetings most days; 4 meetings some days - so I am never farther than a couple of hours from getting myself to a meeting to recharge my batteries. (I don’t attend every single meeting on my calendar, but I have the Zoom codes there every day so I can get to a meeting quickly and find time for it regularly, sometimes daily.) That interpersonal experience makes me feel very seen and helps me see that my addiction is nothing compared to the good feeling I get from connecting with other humans.
There are many good resources in the thread Sassy prepared here:
I know it’s hard and it seems overwhelming. Remember you’re not alone and you have support you can find. In addition to recovery programs, maybe you can also visit your doctor and get your doctor’s opinion about whether there may be some physical or psychiatric elements to this too? (In my case I get treatment for my ADHD and my depression, and take medications for both, as prescribed by my doctor. I have also worked my recovery, which improves how those medications work. It has made a huge difference in my recovery.)