I guess last night was Saturday or Sunday……again. He promised to only drink on Saturday or Sunday. I just try to keep quiet. Had to help him out of the hot tub. I just try to keep quiet. I tell MYSELF again and again that this is his choice and I can only fight my addiction, but to him, I just fight to stay quiet. I pray to God every night that he will choose to stop, but to him I just try to stay quiet. Don’t know how long I can stay quiet.
I’ve been driving my mom and her now ex husband around since I was 17 years old because of them both having dui’s. I’m now 32 and she just got a 4th dui after getting her license back. Her alcohol problem has really affected me because it is all that I was around growing up. Over these last few months I really see a problem in drinking and have decided to quit all together, but then my mom will ask for a ride to the bar where I’m trying to stay away from. Then I’m always back to square 1… she knows I want to quit. When I point out this issue to her it is ignored and led to a big fight if I don’t give her a ride. she will not ask someone else either. I’m ready to start living my own life…
Welcome Brittany.
I’m glad your here. I’m sorry to read about the circumstance that brought you here though.
I’ve been going to Al-Anon for a long time now because my life has been affected by my wife’s drinking. Al-Anon has given me my life back. They also have ACOA meetings.
https://adultchildren.org/
After a year or so in Al-Anon I now have a sponsor and a therapist because my life was still unmanageable and the chaos continued I was a wreck.
The first thing my sponsor did was tell me to Google YouTube Videos about enabling
@Kimpantera
It’s really hard. But the madness will never end as long as we are enabling our loved ones to drink.
I thought I was doing pretty good not enabling, and I was. But after watching videos and listening to podcast I was still enabling this family disease. We all play a part in this family disease of alcoholism. When I stop playing my part in her drinking I can finally focus on my life a start living again.
I just posted this up above if your interested. I’ll copy it here. The podcast I mentioned here is so good. It’s like having an Al-Anon meeting in my pocket.
You know. I kept driving my wife to the store to buy groceries and she’d buy wine. Of course she would! I don’t do that now. If she wants to buy wine she can drive her own ass to the store a get it herself.
The hardest thing for me to do next time she’s so drunk she can’t walk will be to let her suffer the consequences of her action. I pray that doesn’t happen.
If your alcoholic is happy with you then you’re probability enabling them. If your alcoholic is mad as hell at you? Then you’re trying to save their life.
This family disease of alcoholism fucking sucks. And it’s hard work. You are not alone.
Hope For Today is a collection of daily thoughts and meditations based on the sharing of Al-Anon members who grew up with the family disease of alcoholism.
I started at the gratitude thread and decided to split the post from here on. Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #5 - #1044 by erntedank
I’m grateful decorating the house makes me aware of all the things still missing and that the house lacks essential furniture (which basically is still in my city home). I’m grateful I texted the ex again and he agreed to find a date when we can go through everything he took with him not caring if it’s his or mine. Let’s see what will be. And when he will call. I’m so grateful my side of the street is clean and I work on living a better life 
I’m grateful I found an embarrassing video when I scrolled through the pictures on my phone searching a particular one of my late mom.
Obviously I was so frustrated, hurt, helpless and furious about my drunken ex 2,5 years ago that I videoed him lying on the floor in the new house (interior work not finished then) on our farm, completely drunk at half past 9 in the morning when we had said we would do some work together on the farm this day. He rarely came home these days because he was always drunk alone and slept on the floor instead of working on the house, the farm or whatever, I never knew what exactly, coming home, taking a bath and having a chill evening 
I arrived, I really looked happily forward to spend a day working together, he pissed me off in his drunken bitchery - yes, I heard it before, I work nothing and am a lazy sod and everything is my fault -, we had a massive argument, I went nuts and left after yelling and sobbing that I’m fed up with his drinking bullshit behaviour and he destroys and ruins everything and every possible together time with it.
I remember that I didn’t hear from him for several days afterwards, one day he came home and behaved again. Looking back I give myself a huge cuddle here and now that one day I chose I can’t bear it anymore. Oh God I’m so grateful this woman found a way out of this relationship and fights like hell that no backward glorification takes place.
Wow was this old (!) video a wake up call why the fuck I better stick to myself and eliminate him off my life. It made me realize: Now he is apparently mostly not drinking as he wants to keep his driver license. And not drunk he is perfect in silent treatment, more than ever, only focussing on himself and thinking shit about others, especially me. So please what the fuck does my messy brain in cooperation with my emotional pink princess miss sometimes? THIS for sure NOT.
Boa, I had to get that out, I thought my brain would explode dealing with this gift from the past alone. Yes, I’m deeply grateful this day of remembrance had peaceful moments with lovely memories and one episode of a different kind.
If this reminder isn’t enough to finally process the emotional leftovers I don’t know. Maybe book some brain& heartwash in the re-stabilizer department at the ministry of bullshitavoidance 
Thanks for listening, rant end, feels wayyyy better now 
Rant away,love, that’s what this thread is for. Feels good to unload in a safe place. I’m sending you a hug
Thanks L
Doing great currently. Kind of exhausted from working on myself. But that’s a good thing. Learning soooo much.
I just want to help others so badly who are in this situation. And I get to at my meetings. Sometimes I think we are more broken than the addict. And the thing is. I thought I was doing so well. Hah!! I’m blessed to be a double winner in my recoveries.
Must be Saturday or Sunday and I missed something. My husband is drinking tonight. I just ignore him. Should I stop helping him when he can’t do things because of his addiction? How far can I go and not call it “enabling”.
So sorry you are going through that Brittany. But glad you are here. My parents were both alcoholics. I never had to drive my parents to the bar, they mostly drank at home. But I knew how to mix a highball (mom’s drink of choice, Bourbon and water) when I was about 10. I would get corrected if it was too strong or too weak. Amount of ice not sufficient or too much. Dad was a beer drinker. So nothing to mix for him, just fetching it.
I drank at home too and so does my husband (still). I used to think it was normal, it was how a grew up. But now I know it was all wrong. I hope soon my husband sobers up, but until then I will persevere with my own sobriety. I am responsible for me and you are responsible for you. We need to learn to stop enabling.
Kim d18
Hey Kim. Have you seen my posts above 
Kim, it’s taken me a long time and a lot of hard work to get to where I am now. I’m still going to 4-6 AlAnon meetings a week. Alcoholism is a disease of relationships and it’s a family disease.
If you’re willing read through some of my post. Feel free to comment and reply to me.
Unfortunately there is no fire hose to put out the fire. But slowly you can take your life back.
At 63 I’m finally starting to take my life back. It took a year and a half of meetings. And just now I finally got a sponsor and a therapist. It’s probably taken my 3 years to get where I am. But we don’t have to live like this anymore.
I put in the work. She didn’t like me going to meetings. But through tears and open arms I found my tribe. People that know what I’m going through. I was welcome with so much love. And there are plenty of people at my Al-Anon meetings even older than us. Trying to navigate this awful disease.
Hi Eric, yes Inhave read a lot of your posts. I will continue to go through them. I want to start going to meetings and I will, I just need to get up the nerve to face 3d people.
Kim
My husband got home from his 3 day trip tonight. He got to watch his favorite team play in the World Series. He got to see his team win twice, in person, in a different state.
His plane landed at 8 tonight and he drove straight to his workplace to drink beer and watch his team win again. Then he drunkenly drove his bartender friend home.
He came home unhappy. He feels fat and sad and old and unloved. I did not run into his arms because he had been drinking for 5 1/2 hours, never mind anything he had in an airport or on a plane. He cried and we fought and we talked about splitting up. This is not the way I saw his homecoming unfolding. Fuck alcohol. I cannot make him happy.
Only now after I cried for a while does he want to tell me stories about his trip. I don’t know what is happening with us and tonight I kind of don’t give a shit. Still sober. Sorry for the swears but thanks for the space to vent.
He came home drunk.
Y’all fought and engaged.
He was probably still drunk and you were thankfully sober.
Proud of you for protecting and being proud of your own sobriety.
The rest will work itself out ODAAT with sober discussions etcetera.
Wishing you the best for you and with him if that’s what you want.
Hopefully he’ll stop drinking.
Big hugs xxx
Thank you. I feel as if you never sleep and you just wait to pop up and help those in need. For that I am grateful. I’ll cry myself to sleep tonight over alcohol and I’ll be grateful that it isn’t my drinking I’m crying over any longer. 🩶🩷
Eyedrops for tomorrow’s 12 hour day.
You’re probably aware of this but just in case. I believe there was another huge, huge recall of eyedrops today or yesterday . If you’re using any store brands, you might check it out. Big hugs and hope you can get some rest before your big workday.
Mine are probably 2 years expired by now which is before the contamination started. Now I just use them for crying nights and not red eyes from drinking days so I use them much less. Before I sleep I usually scroll old meme threads. Tonight I’m back in May of 2020 but sleep will hit me soon.
Ah Emilie that is a shitty homecoming. I am sorry!
Glad you were able to come here and vent. I hope it helped. Grateful that you were and are remaining sober.
Hopefully the two of you can have a better conversation tonight while he is sober. It is super hard talking with a a drunken emotional person. You end up getting hurt and they don’t remember the conversation.
Much love dear friend 
sending you hugs and love